NOT FRAGILE LIKE A FLOWER...LIKE A BOMB.
Oct. 6, 2026

Part Three | Hung Jury: The Lindsey Clancy Case

Part Three | Hung Jury: The Lindsey Clancy Case

Part Three of Multi-Part series On January 24, 2023, in Duxbury, Massachusetts, labor-and-delivery nurse Lindsay Clancy strangled her three children—Cora, 5, Dawson, 3, and eight-month-old Callan—then jumped from a second-story window. She survived,...

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Season 12
Part Three of Multi-Part series

On January 24, 2023, in Duxbury, Massachusetts, labor-and-delivery nurse Lindsay Clancy strangled her three children—Cora, 5, Dawson, 3, and eight-month-old Callan—then jumped from a second-story window. She survived, paralyzed. Her husband, Patrick, came home from errands she had sent him on and found the house silent. Clancy has never denied killing her children. The fight in court was over why. Her defense said she was in the grip of postpartum psychosis: delusions, a voice telling her she had no choice, and a mind so broken she could not form criminal intent. Prosecutors said the day was planned. She had taken the kids to the doctor, played with them in the snow, gotten her husband out of the house, and—they argued—knew exactly what she was doing. The 2026 trial in Plymouth lasted weeks. Patrick Clancy, who had once asked the public to see “the real Lindsay,” took the stand for the state. Jurors heard the 911 call, hospital statements, medication history, and dueling psychiatric experts. After seven days of deliberations they could not agree. Eleven jurors were prepared to find her not criminally responsible. One holdout, Michael Desronvil, said he had no doubt she acted deliberately. The judge declared a mistrial

Content warning: This episode discusses the deaths of young children, suicide attempt, and severe mental illness. Listener discretion is strongly advised.

Timestamps:
12:10 Misused Prescriptions
20:32 New Provider, New Plan
34:09 Family Worry
42:13 An Ordinary Errand
53:17 Finding the Children
1:03:08 Critical Hospital Transport

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Welcome to Unspeakable, a true crime podcast where I tell

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stories of real crimes with real victims, whose cases are

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so shocking that many are left wondering, how is this

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even real? I use my experiences in law enforcement, corrections,

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and combined with my years as a criminal justice educator,

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dig deep into complex cases of evil acts, some so evil,

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many feel they are unspeakable. Warning. Unspeakable is intended for

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mature audiences. If you are easily offended, then I'm not

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your girl. Listening discretion is advised. Hey y'all, KJ here

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back with another episode of Unspeakable. How's your week going?

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Mine's going pretty dang good. I do have to do

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a shout out today and I'm gonna go all the

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way to Logan, Utah where Amy Blevins is living her life.

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Hey Amy, what's going on? I'm waving to you right

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now on the camera. I'm stoked to have you in

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my crime family and welcome to the family. We're happy

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to have you and your support means everything and it

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helps me to keep doing what I'm doing. And I

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like doing it. So I'm happy to have you along

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for the ride. I also want to remind some people

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that they I'm getting messages about merch. Remember, if you

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that's unspeakablethepodcast.com. Super simple to find, and you can get

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whatever you want. Now, before I go into the actual episode,

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I want to remind you also that this is part three.

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And so if you have not listened to part one

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and part two, go do that first. Spoiler alert, because

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I'm jumping right in right now to part three. So

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we're back in this constant battle that Lindsay Clancy was

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having with no sleep and feelings of depression. And we

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talked about the fact that she had been seeing Dr.

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Tufts who was a board-certified psychiatrist who was prescribing medications

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to her to help with her diagnosis. Now, what did Dr.

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Tufts put down as her diagnosis? She put chronic generalized

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anxiety disorder and chronic adjustment disorder with depressed mood. Now,

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the process of getting the medication is And then the

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combination of what would work for Lindsay specifically was still

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being adjusted weekly, if not daily, in some instances. And

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due to their constant contact via MyChart, you know, the

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online charting system for you to talk to your providers,

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we know that Lindsay wasn't wanting to take the prescribed

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medications and she was wanting to try therapy first. But

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after some time, she decided to go ahead and start

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the meds. Maybe that was the best way to go.

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So by mid-October, she started the prescribed Zoloft, but she

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only took seven of those pills before telling Dr. Tufts

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that she didn't like the side effects of it, she

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didn't like the way she felt, and that she was

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going to stop taking the medication. She felt insomnia, she

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had mental fog, racing thoughts, and she was scared that

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she may eventually develop suicidal thoughts. But by the end

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of October... She told Dr. Tufts that she was hoping

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to return to work and that things would start getting better. Now,

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I want to tell you, too, that there's a fine

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line here whenever I want to tell you everything, right?

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I want to give you every tidbit of of this

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story as it lay out. But I also don't want

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to get so deep in the woods that I lose

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you because it gets to be kind of tedious. So

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if you have followed this case, just tooth and nail.

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Every step of the way, you might go, wait a minute,

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she skipped over something. If it's big, I'm going to,

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you can trust I'm going to address it eventually. But

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for the most part, I may combine a few things

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just to get through all of the medication and all

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of the visits that were done. So when November rolled

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around and things started to turn just a little bit,

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but not really for the better. And in this instance,

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I mean, in terms of the frequency and the intensity

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that Lindsay was seeking help. So she continued to see

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and get help from Dr. Tufts for her insomnia. But

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on November the 16th, Lindsay then took herself to the hospital.

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Her main concern when she got to the ER was

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that she just could not sleep. She wanted to go

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to sleep. And the doctor at South Shore Hospital wrote

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her the common prescription for trazodone. She was given 30

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days worth and she was told to take it as

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needed to help her with her sleep. Now, Patrick's mother,

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her name is Sue Clancy, she was worried about Lindsay,

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and she decided, with Lindsay's permission, that she was going

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to reach out to a friend of hers who she

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thought may would be a good source of help. And

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that friend's name was Julie Paul. So Julie had originally

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started out as a labor and delivery nurse, just like Lindsay.

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Matter of fact, they had even worked together in prior years.

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But Julie had advanced her education, and she took a

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big interest in helping women who who were postpartum and

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then in distress, like mental distress when they were postpartum.

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So as that took place, she eventually became a psychiatric

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nurse practitioner, and she would eventually start a program and

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become the director of it at South Shore Hospital. The

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entire program she started was geared towards postpartum women with

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psychiatric and mood disorders. Like, what a blessing to know

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somebody that specific and that educated in that field. So

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kudos to Patrick's mama for lining up that specific help

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for her daughter-in-law, because I think she really nailed that

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one on the head as far as what her specialty was.

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So Julie agreed to accept Lindsay into her program after

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a 90-minute or so phone call session. And that session

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was full of questions and answers. And she believed when

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everything was said and done after she called Lindsay and

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spoke to her, that a team approach to helping her

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was the way to go. And I have to tell you,

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this really echoes what Dr. Tufts had said as well

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for Lindsay. Cognitive therapy with social workers was just one element.

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Medication management and prescriptions from practitioners, such as Tufts or

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Julie Paul, and then lifestyle and help with coping mechanisms

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and all of that via coaching. like talk therapy. So

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kind of a three-tiered approach to everything she felt that

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would be needed to get Lindsay where Lindsay wanted to be.

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The first visit that they had was after that hospital,

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when she went to the hospital and checked herself in.

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And Lindsay told Julie Paul that she was taking Ativan

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and Benadryl to sleep. she never mentioned anything about the

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trazodone that the doctor had prescribed just days earlier whenever

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she went to the ER. And I think that that

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matters in the scope of the medication that is being

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prescribed here. Because off the top, if you've been anywhere

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near this story, the big part is that people are like,

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look how many prescriptions she was on. Well, Nobody was

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throwing all of those prescriptions at her in one day.

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And there were different providers that were writing these prescriptions

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and not necessarily that having that communicated to each other.

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So Lindsay told Miss Paul, Julie Paul, that she was

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taking Ativan and Benadryl to sleep. If you remember from

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last episode, Benadryl was against Dr. Tuff's advice. That's why

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she had prescribed that hydroxyzine. But Lindsay was doing what

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she felt worked best instead of following the psychiatrist's advice

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on this one. So when asked, OK, well, are you

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feeling suicidal or homicidal? Lindsay said no. And she also

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declined having any hallucinations or hearing voices whatsoever. whenever they

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were doing this assessment. And this is, from what I'm

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gathering through everything I've learned about this case, this seems

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to be a pretty standard practice amongst your mental health

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providers is that they're going to ask these standard questions.

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They want to know, are you an immediate threat to

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yourself or to others? Are you hearing voices? Seems like

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it's been a pretty consistent thing in Lindsay's life so far.

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So November 20th, she also had an appointment with Julie Paul.

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And Lindsay told her that she did not use drugs.

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And she also said that she didn't use alcohol. But

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I have to remind you, if you don't remember, but

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the original time that she was doing her intake with Dr. Tufts,

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she had indicated that she was drinking five times a

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week and she felt guilty about it. So was this

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just an oversight? Was this on purpose? Or was Lindsay

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more of like, well, I already told that to Dr. Tufts.

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And so maybe now she's with a new provider and

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she's just giving the information and not repeating it again.

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I can't really answer that for you. But she said

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she was not taking drugs and she was not drinking alcohol.

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Of course, Julie Paul wouldn't have known what I just

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told you about her saying to Dr. Tufts that she

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had been drinking all that, you know, five days a week.

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Because in psychiatry, a lot of what the doctor is

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going to know is going to be based on what

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the patient discloses to them whenever they're seeking help. And

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when someone is seeking help, for themselves, for a recognized

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problem they're having, wouldn't want to assume that they're going

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to be as accurate as possible so that they can

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get the help? I'll let you decide that. You might say, no,

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maybe they don't want to say everything. Maybe they're embarrassed.

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Maybe they don't want it addressed. Touche. I get that.

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Different strokes, different folks. But if you're going to seek

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help and then not give all the information, or not

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give all truthful information, certainly seems counterintuitive, whatever the reason

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might be. So after they talked about all of that,

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Lindsay said that her main complaint was was actually lack

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of sleep. She denied any intrusive thoughts. And she said

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that she was having this increasing anxiety. So to work

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through this, Julie asked Lindsay, what was she doing to

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try to help herself with this? And she said, you know,

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I like yoga. I have been taking the Ativan. And

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she added, and I also took CBD in gummy form.

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But Again, in the intake, she asked, are you taking

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any drugs or alcohol? And Lindsay said no. So right there,

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there is a discrepancy. But she said that she was

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taking the Ativan, doing yoga, and she had tried a gummy.

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She also had a prescription for Buspar that Dr. Tufts

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had written her. She filled it, but she had not

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started taking it yet. So after the screening test and

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after all this talking, Julie Paul felt like she was

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no immediate red light. flag risk. However, she did note

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that her general anxiety score was very high. The anxiety

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was way up there. As far as suicidal, though, she

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was negative on that suicidal screening. With Lindsay just adamant, though,

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that she was scared of addiction, and she kept bringing

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this up, Julie said, well, why don't you try the

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Prozac again since you said you took it in college

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and you had no side effects? You can also safely

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pair this with your Ativan for you to get some sleep.

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So we can reduce this medication once your symptoms improve,

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but you have to take this medicine. You have to

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take it for four to six weeks for the medication

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to build up to a therapeutic level in your system

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and see the difference. If you're not consistent, you're not

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gonna see the difference. So Lindsay said, okay, I get it.

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She understood, she understood the explanation and she agreed to

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that plan. That said, once the prescription was written, Lindsay

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would not continue it as directed. It could never reach

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therapeutic levels. And I know this because she only took

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a total of 13 of those pills. One month of pills,

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if you only took it once a day, You would

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take 30 of them just off the top of my head, right?

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But she wasn't doing it. So what this means so far,

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and I would like to condense this for you, is

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that Dr. Tufts prescribed over the months of September, October,

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and the very beginning of November, the following medications. Zoloft

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for depression, which Lindsay never completed, only taking seven of them.

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She prescribed Ativan for sleeping, but this was just an

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as-needed drug and was not for long-term use or everyday

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use necessarily. Then she prescribed the hydroxyzine. She did that

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instead of the Benadryl because she did not want Lindsay

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taking that because Benadryl is not for sleeping. So the

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hydroxyzine was supposed to go in place of the Benadryl.

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But Lindsay didn't follow that instruction. She preferred the Benadryl,

221
00:13:25.159 --> 00:13:29.480
and she only took a total of three hydroxyzines. Dr.

222
00:13:29.519 --> 00:13:32.840
Tufts also wrote a prescription for the Buspar. That was

223
00:13:32.899 --> 00:13:36.500
for anxiety, which Lindsay only took two of those before

224
00:13:36.600 --> 00:13:42.639
stopping it. And there was another prescription of Ativan written,

225
00:13:42.740 --> 00:13:46.940
but this prescription was a reduced prescription. It was half

226
00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:50.379
the strength originally, which... was supposed to take the place

227
00:13:50.419 --> 00:13:52.919
of the stronger one, if you're following me. And Lindsay

228
00:13:52.940 --> 00:13:56.789
only took three of those. There was a refill for

229
00:13:56.830 --> 00:13:59.990
the Buspar. So it looks like there was two prescriptions written,

230
00:14:00.049 --> 00:14:02.950
but really the first one was written and assuming she

231
00:14:02.990 --> 00:14:04.769
was taking it, but she wasn't taking it like she

232
00:14:04.789 --> 00:14:08.179
was supposed to. Then a refill came about. Lindsay filled it,

233
00:14:08.649 --> 00:14:12.820
but she only took two of the first prescription and

234
00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:16.850
none of the refill prescription. And I can tell you

235
00:14:17.029 --> 00:14:20.309
what she took because I know what remained and was

236
00:14:20.389 --> 00:14:23.029
recovered from her home at the end of this story.

237
00:14:23.309 --> 00:14:25.049
But I want us to kind of keep track as

238
00:14:25.090 --> 00:14:27.320
we go instead of waiting till the very end to

239
00:14:27.379 --> 00:14:30.120
try to make it make sense. And telling you this

240
00:14:30.840 --> 00:14:35.179
in consumable bits matters in understanding it. I made, no lie,

241
00:14:36.179 --> 00:14:40.190
I made tons of Excel sheets and charts and comparison

242
00:14:40.210 --> 00:14:45.559
pages and and these like Excel color coded spreadsheets on

243
00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:49.649
Excel to make this simple and digestible for not only me,

244
00:14:49.909 --> 00:14:52.269
but also in the episodes. And I'll tell you, I

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00:14:52.350 --> 00:14:56.149
will share those spreadsheets that I made on Patreon. If

246
00:14:56.169 --> 00:14:57.450
you want to take a look at them and see

247
00:14:57.529 --> 00:15:00.789
where I've gotten to where I am in my thought process,

248
00:15:01.090 --> 00:15:02.429
I'd love for you to go look at that. There's

249
00:15:02.470 --> 00:15:04.470
nothing hidden here. And you can see what I've got

250
00:15:04.509 --> 00:15:06.549
there and how I was what I was working with.

251
00:15:07.190 --> 00:15:10.840
So overall, Everything prescribed by Dr. Tufts in the months

252
00:15:10.860 --> 00:15:15.659
of September, October, and November of 2022, Lindsay never took

253
00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:19.970
as prescribed, not even close to reaching therapeutic levels in

254
00:15:19.990 --> 00:15:24.070
her system before quitting the ones that needed long-term or

255
00:15:24.129 --> 00:15:27.830
quitting them altogether. She then went to the hospital. She

256
00:15:27.870 --> 00:15:31.149
got that trazodone prescription, which she did not take as

257
00:15:31.210 --> 00:15:33.970
prescribed because only seven and a half of those pills

258
00:15:34.230 --> 00:15:37.269
were missing out of the 30 days. And that's when

259
00:15:37.289 --> 00:15:40.740
she went and saw Julie Paul. Julie wrote the Prozac,

260
00:15:41.159 --> 00:15:45.240
but not as an additional medication. It's because Lindsay was

261
00:15:45.259 --> 00:15:47.480
telling Julie that she hated everything else that she had

262
00:15:47.500 --> 00:15:51.049
been trying. And because the Prozac had worked for her

263
00:15:51.070 --> 00:15:53.289
in the past back whenever she was in nursing school.

264
00:15:53.690 --> 00:15:58.309
But she never took the Prozac to a full therapeutic capacity.

265
00:15:58.409 --> 00:16:02.320
She only took 13 of those when it was all

266
00:16:02.360 --> 00:16:08.539
said and done. Now, Lindsay... called and texted and MyCharted

267
00:16:08.659 --> 00:16:12.399
multiple notes, which were all addressed as she was anxious

268
00:16:12.519 --> 00:16:17.799
about possible side effects of the medications, mainly the Prozac

269
00:16:17.990 --> 00:16:21.649
that was just written. So they're messaging back and forth

270
00:16:21.730 --> 00:16:24.929
and they are being answered by Julie Paul. But on

271
00:16:25.009 --> 00:16:32.149
Thanksgiving Day, Julie wrote a one-time use at the lowest

272
00:16:32.450 --> 00:16:36.250
dose possible of of Ambien for her to try to

273
00:16:36.330 --> 00:16:43.009
sleep as well as Klonopin, but explicit instructions were given here.

274
00:16:44.070 --> 00:16:48.980
She said, do not take Benadryl or the Ativan for

275
00:16:49.059 --> 00:16:53.299
sleep if you decide to try these, especially the Klonopin

276
00:16:53.320 --> 00:16:57.320
because it's a sedative and it's a much more serious sedative.

277
00:16:58.200 --> 00:17:01.879
She also told her, stop the Prozac. Why? Because Lindsay

278
00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:03.899
texted just right after it was written and said, I

279
00:17:03.919 --> 00:17:05.779
don't think I like this. I don't like the side effects.

280
00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:07.619
Even though she didn't have side effects the first time

281
00:17:07.900 --> 00:17:10.140
and she hadn't taken it long enough to reach therapeutic levels,

282
00:17:10.599 --> 00:17:12.819
the doctor's still going to listen to what Lindsay is saying.

283
00:17:13.420 --> 00:17:17.750
Lindsay had only taken in three days at this point

284
00:17:17.789 --> 00:17:21.529
in the story of the Prozac. So stopping it cold

285
00:17:21.569 --> 00:17:25.599
turkey would not have hurt her. Because again, such low

286
00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:28.660
doses that she was written would not have had enough

287
00:17:28.680 --> 00:17:32.680
time in her system to take therapeutic effect. So if

288
00:17:32.769 --> 00:17:37.069
Lindsay would have theoretically followed all of these instructions to

289
00:17:37.150 --> 00:17:40.609
date that I've told you this story, then Lindsay would

290
00:17:40.829 --> 00:17:44.309
have no longer been on any medications prescribed by Dr.

291
00:17:44.369 --> 00:17:48.569
Tufts and only technically on a sleep aid at a

292
00:17:48.650 --> 00:17:54.029
very low dose at this juncture in this story. In

293
00:17:54.069 --> 00:17:58.549
addition to those sleep aids though, Julie Paul also wrote

294
00:17:58.630 --> 00:18:03.890
a prescription for Remeron. Now that's a depression medication. Why

295
00:18:03.910 --> 00:18:07.349
did she write this? Well, because she was gonna stop

296
00:18:07.410 --> 00:18:10.279
the Prozac. Remember, Lindsay just said she didn't like it

297
00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:14.559
after taking it for three days. She told Lindsay, try

298
00:18:14.599 --> 00:18:16.619
this one, but I need you to check back in

299
00:18:16.660 --> 00:18:18.740
with me every few days and let's see how this

300
00:18:18.819 --> 00:18:23.599
is working for you. After that appointment, That same day,

301
00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:26.940
Patrick and Lindsay would take his parents up on a

302
00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:29.220
Thanksgiving get together where they all hung out and they

303
00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:31.119
relaxed for the day. It was a good day. It

304
00:18:31.160 --> 00:18:34.329
was a nice time spent together as the kids played

305
00:18:34.349 --> 00:18:36.789
in the house and played in the yard. Patrick's dad,

306
00:18:36.809 --> 00:18:40.869
his name's Christopher. He was used to seeing Lindsay. in

307
00:18:40.990 --> 00:18:43.750
all of his experience with her as a loving and

308
00:18:43.769 --> 00:18:46.759
a caring mother. And while he didn't notice anything out

309
00:18:46.779 --> 00:18:50.359
of the ordinary that day at Thanksgiving, he did notice

310
00:18:50.819 --> 00:18:54.279
that Lindsay seemed just a little quiet and that sometimes

311
00:18:54.319 --> 00:18:57.980
she would just be sitting there and staring off. And

312
00:18:58.029 --> 00:18:59.930
like if you would address her, at some point she

313
00:18:59.970 --> 00:19:03.430
came across as nervous. So she wasn't acting crazy or anything.

314
00:19:03.490 --> 00:19:05.690
She just seemed a little more reserved and maybe a

315
00:19:05.710 --> 00:19:09.240
little bit on edge. Dawson, while they're at the house

316
00:19:09.259 --> 00:19:12.109
hanging out, he got to be a little bit rambunctious

317
00:19:12.170 --> 00:19:13.950
as the little dude often did in his rough and

318
00:19:13.970 --> 00:19:18.309
tumble ways. But this time, Lindsay got pretty frustrated with

319
00:19:18.349 --> 00:19:21.099
him and that he wasn't snapping out of it right

320
00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:25.339
whenever she was trying to correct him. Christopher, Mr. Christopher

321
00:19:25.380 --> 00:19:28.200
noticed that and he because it just wasn't her normal.

322
00:19:28.220 --> 00:19:31.039
She didn't normally have that short of a fuse. But overall,

323
00:19:31.500 --> 00:19:35.140
the grandparents were in heaven visiting with their beloved grandbabies

324
00:19:35.460 --> 00:19:37.440
and also getting to feed their little bellies with the

325
00:19:37.509 --> 00:19:40.990
best food and just so much love. There was so

326
00:19:41.410 --> 00:19:46.049
much to be thankful for during that get-together. The very

327
00:19:46.150 --> 00:19:50.730
following day, after Thanksgiving, Lindsay messaged Julie Paul that the

328
00:19:50.779 --> 00:19:56.119
prescriptions were working and she slept better. But the day

329
00:19:56.240 --> 00:20:00.279
after that, Lindsay messaged again and said she felt rested

330
00:20:00.380 --> 00:20:04.109
after she took the Remron and the Klonopin together. But

331
00:20:04.210 --> 00:20:08.309
she felt really disconnected from reality after she took that Klonopin.

332
00:20:08.690 --> 00:20:11.369
So she was not wanting to take that anymore. And

333
00:20:11.390 --> 00:20:14.160
she added, I'm also really scared of being addicted to it.

334
00:20:14.210 --> 00:20:17.349
I don't want the possibility of addiction. Julie responded to her,

335
00:20:17.390 --> 00:20:20.170
that's fine. It was just something to try. But the

336
00:20:20.210 --> 00:20:21.890
symptoms that you did feel, I want you to be

337
00:20:22.130 --> 00:20:24.690
okay and comfortable with the fact that those are commonly

338
00:20:24.769 --> 00:20:28.990
reported symptoms when people start taking Klonopin. So you're, you know,

339
00:20:29.230 --> 00:20:31.480
you're not saying anything out of the ordinary. Just don't

340
00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:36.730
take it anymore. November the 29th would be a day

341
00:20:37.710 --> 00:20:41.250
that I'd like to at least bring up because November 29th,

342
00:20:41.470 --> 00:20:46.430
Julie Paul had moved away, like out of state. And

343
00:20:46.490 --> 00:20:48.470
Lindsay knew that this was going to happen. This wasn't

344
00:20:48.490 --> 00:20:52.789
just out of the blue. So Lindsay's care was transferred

345
00:20:52.829 --> 00:20:58.559
to another psychiatric nurse practitioner in that practice named Rebecca Gelada. Again,

346
00:20:59.329 --> 00:21:02.990
This new provider, Gelada, she looked over everything and she

347
00:21:03.089 --> 00:21:07.930
diagnosed the same thing as the previous two had, postpartum

348
00:21:08.009 --> 00:21:12.130
anxiety and adjustment insomnia. Now, maybe worded a little bit differently,

349
00:21:12.190 --> 00:21:15.329
but all three providers so far are saying pretty much

350
00:21:15.390 --> 00:21:20.470
the same thing. Even testing her on this Edinburgh postnatal

351
00:21:20.509 --> 00:21:24.269
depression scale where they score it out, Lindsay was documented

352
00:21:24.390 --> 00:21:28.089
as a 17 out of a total of 30. Nowhere

353
00:21:28.210 --> 00:21:31.930
near the worst of the worst, but still obvious that

354
00:21:32.150 --> 00:21:35.490
depression was there for her. Well, the very next day,

355
00:21:35.670 --> 00:21:39.049
Lindsay sent a message to Gelada and she was asking

356
00:21:39.089 --> 00:21:41.750
if it was safe to stop the Remron because her

357
00:21:41.789 --> 00:21:45.329
symptoms were so bad overnight and her depression she felt

358
00:21:45.369 --> 00:21:48.619
was worse. Well, Gelada looks at this and she's a

359
00:21:48.670 --> 00:21:52.920
bit confused because Lindsay had only been taking the medication

360
00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:56.619
for a few days. And there wasn't enough in her

361
00:21:56.740 --> 00:21:59.670
system to be the cause of the side effects like

362
00:21:59.730 --> 00:22:02.470
Lindsay was describing. So right now, don't come jumping down

363
00:22:02.490 --> 00:22:04.349
my throat and say, you don't know, I'm going off

364
00:22:04.390 --> 00:22:08.470
of the notes, guys, that the symptoms that Lindsay was

365
00:22:08.529 --> 00:22:13.109
describing were not standard of what would happen if you

366
00:22:13.130 --> 00:22:16.720
were having ill side effects of taking this drug. This

367
00:22:16.759 --> 00:22:20.700
was an antidepressant. It took weeks to take effect. So

368
00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:26.269
making her depression worse wasn't likely at all. So Gelato responded,

369
00:22:26.329 --> 00:22:29.750
suggesting that she continue it and let it have enough

370
00:22:29.789 --> 00:22:32.490
time to work. You haven't taken it near long enough.

371
00:22:33.490 --> 00:22:38.579
At this point, the level one go-to benzo meds didn't work,

372
00:22:38.640 --> 00:22:41.299
starting with Dr. Tufts, right? Those didn't work. The next

373
00:22:41.380 --> 00:22:44.279
level up from that had been tried. That was the

374
00:22:44.339 --> 00:22:47.779
trazodone and the other sedatives like the Klonopin. Lindsay didn't

375
00:22:47.799 --> 00:22:51.980
like those. So the next level would have been Seroquel.

376
00:22:52.650 --> 00:22:56.519
And that is what Gelada then suggested. Why? Like I

377
00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:01.079
just said, because the lower things weren't working per Lindsay's comments.

378
00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:03.240
And that is why she said, well, why don't we

379
00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:07.359
try the Seroquil? Again, not combined with the other medications,

380
00:23:07.839 --> 00:23:13.130
trying something new. Because Seroquil works both for insomnia and anxiety.

381
00:23:13.450 --> 00:23:15.970
So they're trying to figure it out. Well, for the

382
00:23:16.009 --> 00:23:19.089
sake of storytelling, I'll tell you that December was much

383
00:23:19.150 --> 00:23:21.450
of the same back and forth of not liking meds,

384
00:23:21.819 --> 00:23:25.720
adjusting amounts, talking about tapering off some medications, but it

385
00:23:25.779 --> 00:23:31.140
was a pretty controlled situation by Gelada as far as response,

386
00:23:31.500 --> 00:23:35.319
trying to mitigate it, try something new. Lindsay was only

387
00:23:35.380 --> 00:23:41.809
prescribed meds and had them adjusted by Rebecca Gelada at

388
00:23:41.849 --> 00:23:45.930
this point forward because she was now considered the main provider,

389
00:23:46.230 --> 00:23:52.269
not Dr. Tufts, not Julie Paul, Ms. Gelada. So her

390
00:23:52.349 --> 00:23:55.609
symptoms did not improve, although she continued to deny being

391
00:23:55.630 --> 00:23:59.670
suicidal and stopped taking a lot of the prescribed medication.

392
00:24:00.450 --> 00:24:03.220
So Gelada said, maybe we should have you look at

393
00:24:03.259 --> 00:24:05.619
some of these books that I have in my office.

394
00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:08.019
You're welcome to come pick up a free copy. One

395
00:24:08.059 --> 00:24:11.279
of those books was called Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts,

396
00:24:11.880 --> 00:24:13.740
a book to try to help moms who are suffering

397
00:24:13.819 --> 00:24:17.869
with this very issue that she's suffering with. And she

398
00:24:17.930 --> 00:24:19.980
again said, I think she went by and she did

399
00:24:20.019 --> 00:24:22.660
pick up the books shortly thereafter. But then she again

400
00:24:22.759 --> 00:24:25.980
contacted Gelada saying that she was starting to have intrusive

401
00:24:26.019 --> 00:24:29.549
thoughts and thought that she was addicted to the Ativan.

402
00:24:30.789 --> 00:24:34.849
Gelada said, Again, explained, look, I know you're worried about

403
00:24:34.890 --> 00:24:37.329
this and you think this might be happening, but you

404
00:24:37.369 --> 00:24:40.279
have not been on the Ativan consistently, and that's a

405
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:43.920
key here, consistently long enough for that to be the case.

406
00:24:44.680 --> 00:24:48.480
You keep stopping and starting things. But Lindsay just responded

407
00:24:48.500 --> 00:24:50.619
to that message saying, I don't feel like I'm being heard.

408
00:24:52.630 --> 00:24:55.849
Gelada responds back and says, look, I promise you, I

409
00:24:55.930 --> 00:24:57.809
am listening to you. I want you to understand I'm

410
00:24:57.930 --> 00:25:01.359
listening to what you're telling me. But what you feel

411
00:25:01.960 --> 00:25:05.500
about the medication and what you feel is happening was

412
00:25:05.640 --> 00:25:11.289
not the same as what was clinically probable nor typical

413
00:25:11.809 --> 00:25:15.250
in the studies on these medications that were done. She

414
00:25:15.329 --> 00:25:19.099
also then sent over resources, including crisis numbers to call.

415
00:25:19.559 --> 00:25:21.420
So if Lindsay felt like she ever at some point

416
00:25:21.779 --> 00:25:24.240
became unsafe, which Lindsay said she wasn't at this time,

417
00:25:24.539 --> 00:25:27.359
she did say she was kind of feeling some intrusive thoughts,

418
00:25:27.660 --> 00:25:31.710
but she still said, wasn't saying that she was actively

419
00:25:31.769 --> 00:25:35.450
suicidal or homicidal. So she said, well, here are those resources.

420
00:25:35.529 --> 00:25:38.710
If you get there, please call these numbers. So as

421
00:25:38.990 --> 00:25:44.140
December rolled into January, Patrick remained pretty concerned that Lindsay

422
00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:47.059
was not showing marked improvement, so much so that he

423
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:50.980
even joined in on one of the telehealth conferences to

424
00:25:51.019 --> 00:25:54.059
discuss how Lindsay just was not improving. And as many

425
00:25:54.099 --> 00:25:56.119
times as she's going to the doctor and talking to people,

426
00:25:56.140 --> 00:26:01.259
he really expected more by this point. Lindsay also had

427
00:26:01.299 --> 00:26:04.220
gone to the ER again. And when she went to

428
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:07.109
the ER this time, it was for heart palpitations. When

429
00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:09.849
that doctor saw her in the emergency room, they didn't

430
00:26:09.890 --> 00:26:12.250
feel that she needed to be admitted. They did not

431
00:26:12.289 --> 00:26:14.829
feel like it was that serious of a situation. And

432
00:26:14.890 --> 00:26:20.269
she was just discharged with a diagnosis of depression. And

433
00:26:20.430 --> 00:26:23.990
they also said, you probably need to stop that prescription

434
00:26:24.099 --> 00:26:28.559
of the Seroquel. So now we have a fourth provider here.

435
00:26:28.839 --> 00:26:31.779
saying that they thought it was depression and not meeting

436
00:26:31.819 --> 00:26:37.849
suicidal standards. But even after that, her intrusive thoughts seemed

437
00:26:37.890 --> 00:26:40.849
to come and go. And so she did call and

438
00:26:40.930 --> 00:26:44.789
contact one of those resources, which is Aspire Crisis Services.

439
00:26:45.150 --> 00:26:47.279
And this was on two occasions that she did this.

440
00:26:48.799 --> 00:26:53.700
So if immediate mental health or mental crisis is needed,

441
00:26:54.470 --> 00:26:56.799
All she had to do was call that number. And

442
00:26:56.930 --> 00:27:00.839
she did call those numbers. But neither of those calls

443
00:27:01.279 --> 00:27:04.920
with those people that are crisis line centers felt that

444
00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.609
what she was describing made her have immediate concerns or

445
00:27:09.640 --> 00:27:14.289
need immediate help or intervention. If they thought that she

446
00:27:14.329 --> 00:27:16.269
would meet that standard, they would have kept her on

447
00:27:16.289 --> 00:27:18.309
the line and they would have had one of their

448
00:27:18.450 --> 00:27:21.789
co-workers or whatever sitting there call 911 and say, we

449
00:27:21.809 --> 00:27:24.410
need to get somebody over there. We've got somebody actively suicidal.

450
00:27:24.450 --> 00:27:26.119
They wouldn't have just said, hey, don't do that. I mean,

451
00:27:26.140 --> 00:27:29.079
they have a protocol in place, but they didn't feel

452
00:27:29.119 --> 00:27:33.359
that that was the situation. So after some more discussion

453
00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:36.000
and more time is passing, it became really clear that

454
00:27:36.079 --> 00:27:39.759
Lindsay wouldn't be returning to work at all. With that

455
00:27:39.799 --> 00:27:43.539
in mind, Patrick and Lindsay went for a walk. And

456
00:27:43.579 --> 00:27:46.839
they discussed the status of their home, of their jobs,

457
00:27:47.359 --> 00:27:50.049
and everything that was going on. And that's when they

458
00:27:50.069 --> 00:27:53.650
made the decision that while they loved Lainey, her services

459
00:27:54.130 --> 00:27:57.450
with their children were top-notch, and they really loved her

460
00:27:57.470 --> 00:28:02.009
and appreciated what all she had done, they decided that

461
00:28:02.029 --> 00:28:05.319
her services were no longer gonna be needed. Lindsay was

462
00:28:05.339 --> 00:28:07.859
gonna be staying home full-time now. There was no going

463
00:28:07.880 --> 00:28:11.269
back to work. And with that in mind, They returned

464
00:28:11.289 --> 00:28:13.329
to the house from their walk, and they broke the

465
00:28:13.369 --> 00:28:15.589
news to Lainey that she was going to be let go.

466
00:28:16.430 --> 00:28:19.480
She understood. Wasn't a big deal. They parted ways on

467
00:28:19.519 --> 00:28:22.339
good terms, and Lainey loved the kids, but this was

468
00:28:22.500 --> 00:28:26.039
a job after all, and she would find work again elsewhere.

469
00:28:26.059 --> 00:28:30.099
It just was what it was. So Lindsay staying home,

470
00:28:31.400 --> 00:28:33.500
even without now Lainey's gone and she's staying home and

471
00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:34.880
she's not going to go back to work, it really

472
00:28:34.920 --> 00:28:40.430
wasn't helping her mentally at the stress of returning to

473
00:28:40.470 --> 00:28:43.549
work was now gone, but her anxiety and her depression

474
00:28:43.890 --> 00:28:47.569
still were not improving. So much so that she would

475
00:28:47.609 --> 00:28:51.329
even go to a day program that she found for

476
00:28:51.410 --> 00:28:56.230
postpartum women that were seeking help. But whenever she went there,

477
00:28:56.849 --> 00:29:00.029
the providers, after they assessed and listened and all of that,

478
00:29:00.509 --> 00:29:02.269
said that they just did not feel that she was

479
00:29:02.309 --> 00:29:06.059
a good candidate for their program goals. So now we

480
00:29:06.079 --> 00:29:11.319
have six providers that say, this is not what you're

481
00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:17.059
feeling is more of anxiety and depression, but not like

482
00:29:17.140 --> 00:29:20.509
this program is being offered right now and what their

483
00:29:20.529 --> 00:29:22.670
goals are. And then the other providers also felt like

484
00:29:22.690 --> 00:29:25.509
this was anxiety and other things as well. So by

485
00:29:25.549 --> 00:29:31.650
the end of December, Lindsay would eventually go voluntarily inpatient

486
00:29:31.670 --> 00:29:33.759
with right? Not just go to the ER. She went

487
00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:38.690
inpatient at McLean Hospital. So that would have been like, uh,

488
00:29:40.150 --> 00:29:41.869
Year's Eve, I guess is how you would look at that.

489
00:29:42.710 --> 00:29:45.359
But January 1st through the 5th would be her official

490
00:29:45.450 --> 00:29:51.940
stay at this psychiatric inpatient admission. She voluntarily went there.

491
00:29:52.680 --> 00:29:55.720
Her primary concern, though, when she brought herself there and

492
00:29:55.740 --> 00:30:02.450
wanted to stay was severe insomnia and anxiety, emotional numbness,

493
00:30:02.490 --> 00:30:06.349
and a brain fog. And she felt like it was

494
00:30:06.430 --> 00:30:10.490
caused by medication side effects and that she had some recent,

495
00:30:10.849 --> 00:30:14.450
what she felt were suicidal or intrusive thoughts that were

496
00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:18.170
kind of in her head more than she wanted. And

497
00:30:18.230 --> 00:30:23.500
during that admission, she was evaluated psychiatrically and her medications

498
00:30:23.700 --> 00:30:27.900
were adjusted. But even in that evaluation, she was marked

499
00:30:27.960 --> 00:30:31.579
by these providers as a low risk that she had

500
00:30:31.740 --> 00:30:35.099
no presentation of psychosis, according to the doctor who cared

501
00:30:35.140 --> 00:30:37.539
for her. She did not think Lindsay was a risk

502
00:30:37.599 --> 00:30:42.789
to herself or to others. She was just anxious and

503
00:30:42.849 --> 00:30:49.509
had moderate depression. So after five days, Lindsay was released.

504
00:30:50.940 --> 00:30:53.869
She really was glad to go. If we're being truthful,

505
00:30:53.890 --> 00:30:56.750
she was glad to go because Cora's birthday party would

506
00:30:56.769 --> 00:30:58.630
have been on the 7th. And she really wanted to

507
00:30:58.670 --> 00:31:00.670
be at the birthday party for her daughter. They had

508
00:31:00.710 --> 00:31:02.390
planned it. She was wanting to be there for the

509
00:31:02.410 --> 00:31:05.170
celebration and be a part of it. She didn't want

510
00:31:05.190 --> 00:31:06.910
to leave her child, you know, to have a birthday

511
00:31:06.950 --> 00:31:10.190
alone while she's in a hospital. So she gets out.

512
00:31:10.230 --> 00:31:14.750
They have the party. Everything's great. And Lindsay then continues

513
00:31:14.809 --> 00:31:17.730
to just not improve. If anything, get worse throughout the

514
00:31:17.769 --> 00:31:22.869
month of January. But there were flashes of normalcy. The

515
00:31:22.930 --> 00:31:26.400
party was good, right, in January. They went as a

516
00:31:26.460 --> 00:31:28.759
family to a museum visit. They went to the Museum

517
00:31:28.799 --> 00:31:31.619
of Science together. This was on January the 8th. Dawson,

518
00:31:31.640 --> 00:31:33.819
by the way, was wearing his cool, super cool fireman

519
00:31:33.859 --> 00:31:36.579
boots to the museum and stomping around in those. But

520
00:31:36.599 --> 00:31:39.410
the family had a good trip. They then went a

521
00:31:39.410 --> 00:31:41.539
few days later on January the 15th, they took the

522
00:31:41.579 --> 00:31:44.839
kids to an indoor water park. It was this place

523
00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:47.440
in Cape Cod. And they played at this indoor water

524
00:31:47.480 --> 00:31:50.809
park all day. They had fun. They were on surveillance video.

525
00:31:50.849 --> 00:31:54.410
You could see that they were having fun, relaxing together

526
00:31:54.509 --> 00:31:56.930
in the pool. Mama was holding baby Cal in and

527
00:31:56.970 --> 00:31:58.710
letting him kind of dip his toes in the water.

528
00:31:59.529 --> 00:32:01.849
The other two wild ones were splashing and having the

529
00:32:01.950 --> 00:32:05.349
time of their lives, just laughing and going down these

530
00:32:05.369 --> 00:32:07.789
little slides. And Patrick could be seen at the end

531
00:32:07.809 --> 00:32:09.670
of the slide, just cheering him on at the bottom.

532
00:32:09.690 --> 00:32:11.779
Come on, guys, you can do it. And they would

533
00:32:11.910 --> 00:32:15.299
slide down. Now, in reality, those slides were not very big,

534
00:32:15.700 --> 00:32:19.869
but to a five-year-old and a three-year-old, they were super fast.

535
00:32:19.950 --> 00:32:22.349
And it was like being in a real pirate movie

536
00:32:22.670 --> 00:32:25.130
with the big ship that was in the middle of

537
00:32:25.170 --> 00:32:28.470
the splash area. I mean, it was just too cool.

538
00:32:29.190 --> 00:32:31.230
And when they were over by the slide, they would

539
00:32:31.250 --> 00:32:33.960
be going, mama, watch, mama, watch. They'd go down the

540
00:32:33.980 --> 00:32:36.240
slide and they would say, come do it too, mama,

541
00:32:36.279 --> 00:32:39.180
come do it. And Lindsay did. She went over there

542
00:32:39.200 --> 00:32:40.960
and she even went down the slide a few times

543
00:32:41.000 --> 00:32:43.950
with the bigger kids. They were having a good time.

544
00:32:44.009 --> 00:32:47.670
It felt briefly like they were where they were supposed

545
00:32:47.710 --> 00:32:50.059
to be and that this is how life is supposed

546
00:32:50.099 --> 00:32:55.490
to go. Then on January the 16th. Patrick took Cora

547
00:32:55.509 --> 00:32:58.750
skiing with another friend and the two littles, obviously the

548
00:32:58.789 --> 00:33:01.730
baby can't ski and Dawson's little. So they stayed home

549
00:33:01.779 --> 00:33:05.339
with Lindsay. And throughout that day, Lindsay and Patrick were

550
00:33:05.380 --> 00:33:08.960
periodically texting each other and exchanging photos of the kids

551
00:33:09.019 --> 00:33:11.039
since they couldn't all be together. They were kind of

552
00:33:11.079 --> 00:33:13.660
showing off what everybody was doing, having fun in the

553
00:33:13.700 --> 00:33:17.859
two different places. Dawson, proudly was showing off an awesome

554
00:33:17.980 --> 00:33:20.940
firefighter picture that he drew. And she snapped a picture

555
00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:25.380
of that, sent it to Patrick, as well as baby Callan.

556
00:33:25.680 --> 00:33:27.799
Lindsay held him up and they took a picture together.

557
00:33:27.880 --> 00:33:31.680
And Callan was big cheesing, just big old chubby cheeks.

558
00:33:31.720 --> 00:33:35.200
He's got this toothless little grin and just so precious.

559
00:33:35.700 --> 00:33:38.599
And then in return, Patrick was sending pictures of Cora,

560
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:40.880
who was dressed to the nines, looking like a little

561
00:33:40.940 --> 00:33:44.529
ski girl. And she was having a blast on the slopes.

562
00:33:45.309 --> 00:33:53.130
It was beautiful. Hopefully these outside flickers of normalcy would

563
00:33:53.150 --> 00:33:55.990
be more and more often. That's what Patrick's hope was.

564
00:33:56.430 --> 00:34:01.730
Lindsay wasn't in her new normal. Hopefully this wasn't permanent

565
00:34:02.410 --> 00:34:06.539
and these flashes could become just more often. And she

566
00:34:06.559 --> 00:34:08.599
was getting better, right? Because they're having these good times.

567
00:34:09.579 --> 00:34:13.079
And while she was going through the motions, the reality

568
00:34:13.119 --> 00:34:15.670
though was that Patrick was feeling like he just didn't

569
00:34:15.690 --> 00:34:20.449
have his full partner. His wife wasn't well, but she

570
00:34:20.489 --> 00:34:23.730
would show these signs through these trips and these small

571
00:34:23.750 --> 00:34:26.889
little events that they would do that normalcy could be reached.

572
00:34:27.909 --> 00:34:32.489
She's in there. She's going to get better. Lindsay getting

573
00:34:32.570 --> 00:34:35.949
fully better really mattered not only because Patrick wanted his

574
00:34:36.030 --> 00:34:39.559
wife to be there, that he loved and he fell

575
00:34:39.980 --> 00:34:43.199
in love with and married, but the children, they also

576
00:34:43.239 --> 00:34:46.139
were missing out on the mother that they deserved and

577
00:34:46.159 --> 00:34:50.489
the mother that Lindsay wanted to be. She was physically there.

578
00:34:50.570 --> 00:34:52.690
It's not like she ran away. She opened doors and

579
00:34:52.730 --> 00:34:55.750
she made bottles and she put away clothes, but she

580
00:34:55.809 --> 00:35:03.030
was emotionally not as fully there as expected. So Patrick

581
00:35:03.530 --> 00:35:06.550
and his parents and even Lindsay's parents were concerned that,

582
00:35:06.800 --> 00:35:09.079
with some of the things that Lindsay had said and

583
00:35:09.219 --> 00:35:12.960
done in recent time at this point in the story.

584
00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:15.539
She told her own mother at one point that she

585
00:35:15.579 --> 00:35:19.480
was having dark thoughts about the kids. Now, that's kind

586
00:35:19.500 --> 00:35:23.619
of scary to hear. And when they kind of discussed it, though,

587
00:35:24.380 --> 00:35:28.780
Lindsay continued to deny that she was suicidal. She denied

588
00:35:28.820 --> 00:35:31.699
this to everyone, really. She said she was not suicidal

589
00:35:31.739 --> 00:35:35.429
to the medical providers and doctors. her emotions were just

590
00:35:35.530 --> 00:35:38.849
seemingly all over the place. Patrick even brought up that

591
00:35:38.969 --> 00:35:40.889
one time he walked into the house to find her

592
00:35:40.989 --> 00:35:44.170
on the couch with a pillow over her head, rocking

593
00:35:44.230 --> 00:35:47.920
back and forth and crying. So he's looking at her like,

594
00:35:47.940 --> 00:35:50.159
oh my God, like, what do we do? What do

595
00:35:50.280 --> 00:35:52.860
I do? What do you do? You know, we're doing

596
00:35:52.900 --> 00:35:57.460
everything we can. He's like, you're under medical supervision. You're

597
00:35:57.500 --> 00:36:00.789
constantly checking in with your mental health providers. And I

598
00:36:00.789 --> 00:36:03.449
don't mean he's saying this to her. It's like, what's

599
00:36:03.469 --> 00:36:05.739
going on in their lives. And if all of this,

600
00:36:05.820 --> 00:36:08.559
if we're doing everything we can do, the meds should

601
00:36:08.599 --> 00:36:11.900
have been working by now. Why aren't they working? But

602
00:36:11.940 --> 00:36:15.440
the question becomes, then what do you do? And if

603
00:36:15.460 --> 00:36:17.920
you know the end of this story, don't jump there

604
00:36:17.960 --> 00:36:20.389
and say, well, obviously we should have done something. I'm

605
00:36:20.429 --> 00:36:24.349
talking about in real time. Your wife is suffering. She's

606
00:36:24.389 --> 00:36:27.670
going to the doctor every few days. They're giving her

607
00:36:27.690 --> 00:36:30.559
the medicine. She's not taking the medicine and as she's

608
00:36:30.579 --> 00:36:32.980
supposed to. But Patrick doesn't know that, which is a

609
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:35.599
key here. He thinks she is taking it as she's

610
00:36:35.619 --> 00:36:40.500
supposed to. And so he's just like, I don't know, man.

611
00:36:40.559 --> 00:36:42.969
Why is this not getting better? I want my family.

612
00:36:44.269 --> 00:36:47.570
So he sits in on a meeting, like I said,

613
00:36:47.610 --> 00:36:49.989
and he speaks up and says, look, she's not improving.

614
00:36:50.869 --> 00:36:54.360
Something's got to give here. But the days continue to pass.

615
00:36:54.500 --> 00:36:58.260
They continue to adjust medication and try new things. But

616
00:36:58.300 --> 00:37:01.219
it wasn't all sunshine and roses and good times. This

617
00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:04.280
was underneath the surface, a tough time for this family.

618
00:37:05.090 --> 00:37:08.909
In the morning of Tuesday, January 24th started very early

619
00:37:09.190 --> 00:37:13.289
for the Clancy family because Cora had a doctor's appointment,

620
00:37:13.650 --> 00:37:15.570
which was perfect timing, by the way, because she had

621
00:37:15.590 --> 00:37:18.800
been having some tummy problems. What were her tummy problems?

622
00:37:19.019 --> 00:37:21.719
This is not to embarrass little Miss Cora. This is

623
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:24.360
because the facts of why she had a tummy ache

624
00:37:24.400 --> 00:37:27.730
are totally valid. See, when Miss Cora was up at

625
00:37:27.789 --> 00:37:31.510
her preschool and doing all of her things, sometimes she

626
00:37:31.550 --> 00:37:34.130
would feel like she needed to go potty, number two.

627
00:37:35.329 --> 00:37:38.519
And that was just too embarrassing for her. She did

628
00:37:38.599 --> 00:37:40.719
not want to potty in public. And so she would

629
00:37:40.780 --> 00:37:43.929
hold it in instead of going. And that was causing

630
00:37:43.949 --> 00:37:46.489
her constipation. And I just have to say, little Miss Cora,

631
00:37:46.550 --> 00:37:49.289
I feel you, girl. Public potty time isn't for me either.

632
00:37:49.309 --> 00:37:52.030
I get it. But we also can't be holding it

633
00:37:52.139 --> 00:37:54.079
in and getting stopped up either. We got to keep

634
00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:57.380
these pipes flushing. So Lindsay decided, well, when we go

635
00:37:57.400 --> 00:37:59.480
to this appointment that we have for the checkup, I'll

636
00:37:59.500 --> 00:38:00.960
go ahead and mention it to the doctor that she's

637
00:38:01.000 --> 00:38:04.920
not using the potty. This is perfect timing. Awesome. So Patrick,

638
00:38:04.960 --> 00:38:07.070
as we all know, was working from home as usual.

639
00:38:07.110 --> 00:38:09.289
So the littles could stay with him while mom and

640
00:38:09.309 --> 00:38:11.590
Cora went to the doctor really early because the appointment

641
00:38:11.610 --> 00:38:13.449
was at 8 a.m. And so they were out the

642
00:38:13.469 --> 00:38:18.170
door pretty early. Well, after they left, something big happened.

643
00:38:19.030 --> 00:38:20.840
And I got to share it with you because it's

644
00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:24.840
a big deal. Little Mr. Dawson not only woke up

645
00:38:25.199 --> 00:38:29.179
by himself, but he decided to be a big boy

646
00:38:29.199 --> 00:38:34.300
and he had gotten dressed completely different. all by himself

647
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:38.989
and came strutting into the living room, fully dressed, ready

648
00:38:39.230 --> 00:38:42.480
for the day. And he was very proud of himself.

649
00:38:43.170 --> 00:38:46.389
When Patrick saw him and he was dressed, he was like,

650
00:38:46.670 --> 00:38:50.409
oh my gosh, buddy, look how great you did. It

651
00:38:50.929 --> 00:38:53.469
was the very first time he'd ever gotten himself dressed

652
00:38:53.510 --> 00:38:57.239
like that. And Dawson was grinning ear to ear with

653
00:38:57.300 --> 00:38:59.519
pride at how well he had done. And he wanted

654
00:38:59.539 --> 00:39:01.619
his mama to see it. Look what I did. And

655
00:39:01.639 --> 00:39:05.159
of course, daddy said, stand still, buddy. He's standing by

656
00:39:05.199 --> 00:39:07.070
the table in front of him and he snapped a

657
00:39:07.110 --> 00:39:10.469
quick picture and texted it to Lindsay. So while they're

658
00:39:10.489 --> 00:39:13.289
waiting at the doctor, Lindsay opens up the phone, and

659
00:39:13.349 --> 00:39:16.750
she sees this funny little Dawson in this picture, and

660
00:39:16.769 --> 00:39:20.239
he's leaping forward towards the camera whenever the picture was snapped.

661
00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:23.119
His arms are stretched out all the way above his head.

662
00:39:23.179 --> 00:39:26.230
He's jumping like, yeah! And his little legs are slightly

663
00:39:26.309 --> 00:39:30.070
kicked up behind him. Super cute. And he was sporting...

664
00:39:30.059 --> 00:39:34.320
a long-sleeve black shirt and pull-on blue jeans. The tiny

665
00:39:34.340 --> 00:39:37.320
little drawstring was just below his protruding belly since his

666
00:39:37.449 --> 00:39:40.150
arms were stretched up so high. That big cheesy grin

667
00:39:40.170 --> 00:39:43.750
on his face said it all. For a kid that

668
00:39:43.769 --> 00:39:48.449
was rambunctious and sometimes just didn't listen, this time he

669
00:39:48.489 --> 00:39:50.949
nailed it. And he deserved the praise that he got.

670
00:39:51.969 --> 00:39:55.679
So Lindsay, seeing this, opened her camera up. She snapped

671
00:39:55.719 --> 00:39:58.820
a photo of Cora sitting Indian style on the table

672
00:39:59.139 --> 00:40:00.860
in the room while they were waiting for the doctor.

673
00:40:01.119 --> 00:40:03.760
And she was in her little hospital gown. She's wearing

674
00:40:04.909 --> 00:40:07.530
like a COVID mask over her face. And her hair

675
00:40:07.550 --> 00:40:09.789
was a little messy bun, but she was holding her

676
00:40:09.809 --> 00:40:13.840
little stuffed animal and just big smiling face. as Mama

677
00:40:13.880 --> 00:40:16.099
took that picture. Of course, you couldn't see her mouth,

678
00:40:16.119 --> 00:40:18.559
but her little squinting eyes behind that mask, you could

679
00:40:18.579 --> 00:40:21.420
tell she was big time smiling. And Patrick, when he

680
00:40:21.460 --> 00:40:24.840
got that picture, he was chuckling. Just a minute later,

681
00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:27.889
it was great. The kids were doing good. And Cora

682
00:40:27.909 --> 00:40:31.550
did good at the doctor, too. Lindsay and Cora got

683
00:40:31.570 --> 00:40:34.449
through everything, and they were back home by 8.30. Quick trip,

684
00:40:34.789 --> 00:40:38.070
problem solved. So when they made it back inside, Patrick

685
00:40:38.110 --> 00:40:41.800
gave them some attention before heading down to the in

686
00:40:41.820 --> 00:40:44.519
the home office. And Lindsay then took over watching all

687
00:40:44.539 --> 00:40:48.139
of the kids, and they remained upstairs together for that workday.

688
00:40:48.679 --> 00:40:51.550
And this day, Patrick could tell you, had been a

689
00:40:51.650 --> 00:40:54.929
better one, if not one of her best days in

690
00:40:55.030 --> 00:40:59.590
recent history. Lindsay was going about her day. She seemed

691
00:40:59.610 --> 00:41:02.389
to be doing really well. The kiddos were continuing to

692
00:41:02.429 --> 00:41:05.900
have fun and just changing tasks periodically. They did some

693
00:41:05.960 --> 00:41:08.880
crafts together with mom. And then they went outside in

694
00:41:08.900 --> 00:41:11.420
the early afternoon to play in the snow because it

695
00:41:11.440 --> 00:41:15.449
had snowed well and a snowman was just necessary. It

696
00:41:15.469 --> 00:41:17.730
needed to be done. So the kids ran to their

697
00:41:17.789 --> 00:41:21.070
rooms and Mama got them all bundled up. Cora was

698
00:41:21.110 --> 00:41:23.429
sporting her puffy pink coat and her gloves and her

699
00:41:23.449 --> 00:41:26.190
little pink boots. And Dawson wanted to be black from

700
00:41:26.250 --> 00:41:28.190
head to toe. So he had on a black little

701
00:41:28.230 --> 00:41:31.199
beanie and his jacket. And the hood of his jacket

702
00:41:31.219 --> 00:41:33.420
was pulled up over the little beanie that was down

703
00:41:33.519 --> 00:41:35.539
over his forehead. And all you could see was his

704
00:41:35.599 --> 00:41:39.400
big chubby cheeks poking out. Just super cute. And the

705
00:41:39.460 --> 00:41:43.179
snowman they built was huge. I'm talking three massive snowmen.

706
00:41:43.670 --> 00:41:46.190
Balls of snow. Slightly crooked, okay, if I'm going to

707
00:41:46.210 --> 00:41:49.030
give a full critique here. Slightly crooked, but it was

708
00:41:49.110 --> 00:41:52.579
finished off nicely with a scarf and a pine cone smile.

709
00:41:53.000 --> 00:41:54.480
Y'all get next to it. Come on, kids, y'all get

710
00:41:54.519 --> 00:41:56.119
next to it so I can take a picture. So

711
00:41:56.139 --> 00:41:58.400
they both moved over there and they got on either

712
00:41:58.440 --> 00:42:00.659
side of it and smiled big. Dawson even placing his

713
00:42:00.699 --> 00:42:03.409
little hand on the snowman's shoulder like they were real friends.

714
00:42:03.849 --> 00:42:06.090
And the picture was precious. All right, y'all, let's go

715
00:42:06.130 --> 00:42:08.690
back inside. It's cold. So they all made their way

716
00:42:08.730 --> 00:42:11.130
back inside. Everyone kicked off their boots and ripped off

717
00:42:11.150 --> 00:42:14.250
their gloves before speeding off to the next activity. And

718
00:42:14.289 --> 00:42:16.269
that's when Lindsay sat on the couch, and this was

719
00:42:16.309 --> 00:42:18.869
about 4 p.m., and she thought about what all the

720
00:42:18.909 --> 00:42:21.869
doctor had said about Cora's tummy aches likely being caused

721
00:42:21.909 --> 00:42:26.039
by that constipation, and Miralax was the suggestion to help

722
00:42:26.079 --> 00:42:29.320
her go potty. That said, Lindsay popped open her cell phone,

723
00:42:29.619 --> 00:42:33.360
and she started searching for kids Miralax, and then she

724
00:42:33.420 --> 00:42:36.710
searched for CVS. When she found the CVS number, she

725
00:42:36.750 --> 00:42:39.909
called them to verify that they had the Miralax. And

726
00:42:41.489 --> 00:42:43.280
they said, I think they told her that they were

727
00:42:43.380 --> 00:42:45.579
out of the name brand, but they had the off

728
00:42:45.599 --> 00:42:48.340
brands that worked just as fine. And they had plenty

729
00:42:48.360 --> 00:42:50.800
of that in stock. So after she hung up with them,

730
00:42:51.219 --> 00:42:55.019
she then looked up a restaurant called 3V, like the

731
00:42:55.059 --> 00:42:57.760
number three and the letter V. And the menu there

732
00:42:57.780 --> 00:43:01.460
looked really, really good. She texted Pat downstairs and said, hey,

733
00:43:01.539 --> 00:43:04.219
would you mind picking up some stool softener for Cora?

734
00:43:04.679 --> 00:43:06.300
And then maybe picking up some dinner. It's been a

735
00:43:06.320 --> 00:43:09.269
long day. I'm tired and I just didn't cook. Patrick said, yeah,

736
00:43:09.289 --> 00:43:11.269
that's no problem. And so they kind of went back

737
00:43:11.309 --> 00:43:13.989
and forth discussing what they wanted to eat. And then

738
00:43:14.030 --> 00:43:16.590
Lindsay made the phone call to 3V, placed the order

739
00:43:16.909 --> 00:43:21.309
for their dinner. So Patrick then came upstairs, done working

740
00:43:21.329 --> 00:43:23.909
for the day. And so he picked up baby Callan

741
00:43:24.539 --> 00:43:26.159
and he decided he wanted to sit down and just,

742
00:43:26.400 --> 00:43:28.019
and they wanted to rock him for a minute, give

743
00:43:28.059 --> 00:43:30.460
him some love, give him some sugars before he left

744
00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:34.460
the house to go get dinner for everybody. So Lindsay

745
00:43:34.699 --> 00:43:37.099
was also on her phone again at that point. And

746
00:43:37.139 --> 00:43:41.760
she was looking at Pedialax before Patrick came back into

747
00:43:41.780 --> 00:43:44.599
the main living area. Dawson was sitting right there on

748
00:43:44.619 --> 00:43:47.840
the couch too. And he was snacking on some chicken nuggies, right?

749
00:43:47.860 --> 00:43:50.280
Some little chicken nuggets. And Cora was just running about

750
00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:53.510
doing Cora things. Daddy, where are you going? She wanted

751
00:43:53.530 --> 00:43:55.030
to know where was her daddy going? And he said,

752
00:43:55.050 --> 00:43:57.510
I'll be right back, my girl. He bent down and

753
00:43:57.530 --> 00:44:00.869
he gave Cora some kisses on the head before he

754
00:44:00.909 --> 00:44:03.800
decided to go head out of the door. But he

755
00:44:03.840 --> 00:44:08.519
had no way of knowing in that moment that this

756
00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:12.260
would be one of the last memories that he would

757
00:44:12.500 --> 00:44:16.840
ever make with any of his children. He would never

758
00:44:16.989 --> 00:44:21.630
rock Callan again. He would never kiss Cora again. And

759
00:44:22.150 --> 00:44:26.389
he would never see Dawson up and alive and well again.

760
00:44:28.369 --> 00:44:30.750
Why would he think this? We have to ask ourselves,

761
00:44:30.969 --> 00:44:32.610
why would he even think this? He was only going

762
00:44:32.630 --> 00:44:37.730
to pick up dinner. So he got in his car,

763
00:44:38.269 --> 00:44:39.769
he backed out of the driveway, and then he made

764
00:44:39.809 --> 00:44:42.590
his way down to the CVS. And once he was there,

765
00:44:42.630 --> 00:44:45.050
he was browsing the aisles looking for the medicine for Cora,

766
00:44:45.849 --> 00:44:48.909
and he couldn't find what Lindsay had sent him to

767
00:44:48.949 --> 00:44:51.230
go get. So he called her because he was trying

768
00:44:51.250 --> 00:44:53.550
to check and see if the generic brand would be okay.

769
00:44:53.889 --> 00:44:56.650
Lindsay hadn't told him yes or no before he left.

770
00:44:57.190 --> 00:45:00.150
And the phone rang, but Lindsay didn't answer. But just

771
00:45:00.409 --> 00:45:03.199
a minute or so passed, and she called right back.

772
00:45:04.079 --> 00:45:05.639
He said, hey, can I get the off-brand one because

773
00:45:05.659 --> 00:45:07.099
they don't have the name brand one? She said, yeah,

774
00:45:07.119 --> 00:45:12.320
that's fine. No problem. And they hung up the phone. Now,

775
00:45:12.360 --> 00:45:14.949
Patrick figured that she was bathing the kids or something

776
00:45:14.969 --> 00:45:17.150
because she seemed busy while they were chatting for those

777
00:45:17.190 --> 00:45:20.329
couple of seconds. He then checked out, got back in

778
00:45:20.369 --> 00:45:22.269
the car, and he went over to the restaurant where

779
00:45:22.289 --> 00:45:23.849
he had to wait in line for a minute before

780
00:45:23.909 --> 00:45:26.880
paying for their food and picking it up and heading

781
00:45:26.920 --> 00:45:29.710
back to the house. So when he pulled in the driveway,

782
00:45:29.780 --> 00:45:32.860
his stomach was growling and the food was smelling so good.

783
00:45:33.360 --> 00:45:35.860
Nothing's better than a hot meal on a cold day

784
00:45:36.260 --> 00:45:41.139
after a long day's work, right? Chef's kiss, perfect. So

785
00:45:41.159 --> 00:45:42.880
he made his way into the house, but no one

786
00:45:42.900 --> 00:45:44.940
was in the kitchen and he kicked off his boots

787
00:45:44.980 --> 00:45:47.179
by the door, walked over the table and he set

788
00:45:47.199 --> 00:45:49.320
down the food in the medicine bag on the counter

789
00:45:49.760 --> 00:45:53.360
and he called out, hey y'all, I'm home. Where y'all at?

790
00:45:54.780 --> 00:45:58.940
But there was no answer. The house was Quiet, but

791
00:45:59.219 --> 00:46:03.980
strangely quiet. The baby wasn't crying. The kids weren't watching

792
00:46:04.019 --> 00:46:07.949
TV or running around playing. So he said, hello, where

793
00:46:08.849 --> 00:46:11.929
are y'all at? He opened the basement door, yelled down there, Lindsay.

794
00:46:13.090 --> 00:46:17.690
Nobody was there. Just silence. So he grabbed his cell phone,

795
00:46:17.750 --> 00:46:19.489
pulled it out of his pocket, and he called Lindsay's

796
00:46:19.510 --> 00:46:22.650
cell phone, but she didn't answer her phone. Where the

797
00:46:22.670 --> 00:46:26.300
heck did everybody go? So he went upstairs and he

798
00:46:26.340 --> 00:46:29.179
was going to go into their master bedroom to get

799
00:46:29.219 --> 00:46:32.340
into his comfy clothes before he ate some supper. But

800
00:46:32.420 --> 00:46:35.849
whenever he turned the doorknob to walk in, he was

801
00:46:35.909 --> 00:46:37.969
surprised that when he turned and pushed, he more of

802
00:46:37.989 --> 00:46:41.110
like bumped into the door instead of it opening like normal.

803
00:46:41.789 --> 00:46:46.329
Why is the door locked? Lindsay, Lindsay. And he's kind

804
00:46:46.349 --> 00:46:49.369
of tugging on the door and she's not answering the door.

805
00:46:50.400 --> 00:46:52.420
So he went over and he grabbed what they had,

806
00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:55.300
like their emergency keys or their backup keys to these doors.

807
00:46:55.320 --> 00:46:57.880
They had taped one inside of the top of Cora's door. So,

808
00:46:57.920 --> 00:46:59.340
you know, when you accidentally lock a door, if the

809
00:46:59.380 --> 00:47:01.329
kids were to lock themselves in, they could they would

810
00:47:01.349 --> 00:47:03.710
have more keys so they could unlock the bedroom doors.

811
00:47:04.170 --> 00:47:06.510
So he put the key in and as he swung

812
00:47:06.550 --> 00:47:09.670
the door open, what he saw in that moment stopped

813
00:47:09.710 --> 00:47:14.960
him dead in his tracks. Oh, my God, Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay.

814
00:47:15.739 --> 00:47:17.699
Because at the foot of the bed, there was a

815
00:47:17.900 --> 00:47:21.699
puddle of blood. Now, it wasn't pooled. It was more

816
00:47:21.760 --> 00:47:26.070
like tons of drops of blood overlapping each other, as

817
00:47:26.130 --> 00:47:27.969
if someone was standing there and their blood was just

818
00:47:28.030 --> 00:47:32.010
dropping and spurting out and making this kind of pattern

819
00:47:32.090 --> 00:47:34.730
on the ground. And he took a few more steps forward,

820
00:47:35.409 --> 00:47:38.050
and he could see that those drops were then rounding

821
00:47:38.090 --> 00:47:40.750
the side of their bed. And he wasn't sure exactly

822
00:47:40.809 --> 00:47:43.719
what to expect, but He didn't see Lindsay laying there

823
00:47:43.760 --> 00:47:45.179
or any of the children. So what was all the

824
00:47:45.219 --> 00:47:48.579
blood about? He didn't understand what was happening. Whose blood

825
00:47:48.639 --> 00:47:51.719
is that? Where is my family? Well, there was a

826
00:47:51.780 --> 00:47:54.760
white nightstand to the side of the headboard and that

827
00:47:54.780 --> 00:47:56.650
drew his attention because on top of it, there was

828
00:47:56.670 --> 00:47:59.650
a large butcher knife laying on its side and there

829
00:47:59.670 --> 00:48:02.590
was blood all around that butcher knife, not only on it,

830
00:48:02.929 --> 00:48:06.369
but dripping off the nightstand. And there was also a

831
00:48:06.789 --> 00:48:10.110
lot more blood on the floor in front of that nightstand,

832
00:48:10.389 --> 00:48:13.570
but it was pooled there. This was a lot of blood.

833
00:48:14.300 --> 00:48:17.420
And normally that headboard would be flush against the wall

834
00:48:17.460 --> 00:48:20.400
between the nightstands, but the bed was pulled out some

835
00:48:20.860 --> 00:48:24.340
and that brought his eyes directly up the wall and

836
00:48:24.420 --> 00:48:28.679
the shock of him realizing that the window was open.

837
00:48:29.960 --> 00:48:32.440
Why is the window open? And the cool air was

838
00:48:32.480 --> 00:48:35.119
just breezing through and their silvery gray curtains were kind

839
00:48:35.139 --> 00:48:38.489
of blowing in the wind. But But why was the

840
00:48:38.909 --> 00:48:41.329
window open? First of all, it's not safe. This is

841
00:48:41.369 --> 00:48:45.469
a second floor, a second story. And then he's like, oh,

842
00:48:45.760 --> 00:48:48.320
my God, an intruder couldn't have come in through the window.

843
00:48:48.340 --> 00:48:52.840
We're on the second floor. That's when it hit him. Oh,

844
00:48:52.880 --> 00:48:56.150
my God, did someone go out of the window? He turned,

845
00:48:56.610 --> 00:49:00.170
and in that moment, his body just took over. It

846
00:49:00.230 --> 00:49:03.280
felt as if he was in, like, an out-of-body experience.

847
00:49:03.300 --> 00:49:06.360
He flew down the hallway, flew down the stairs, and

848
00:49:06.440 --> 00:49:09.480
flew outside into the backyard. And he was, like, looking

849
00:49:09.539 --> 00:49:11.920
around to see what is going on. And when he

850
00:49:11.980 --> 00:49:16.130
looked to his left, what he saw was beyond his comprehension.

851
00:49:17.190 --> 00:49:21.340
There he found Lindsay. She was face-up. on her back

852
00:49:22.019 --> 00:49:24.059
her head close to the house her feet in the

853
00:49:24.159 --> 00:49:28.010
opposite direction Oh my God, no, Lindsay. And he goes

854
00:49:28.239 --> 00:49:31.539
running over to her. Her crumpled and not moving body

855
00:49:31.599 --> 00:49:34.420
was crookedly just lying broken on the ground. And she's

856
00:49:34.460 --> 00:49:38.199
just face up laying there. Lindsay, my Lindsay, what happened?

857
00:49:38.719 --> 00:49:42.179
What happened? And she was not in good condition at all.

858
00:49:42.599 --> 00:49:46.099
She was cold. She was not moving, but she was

859
00:49:46.199 --> 00:49:49.510
breathing and she was groaning. So he was panicked. His

860
00:49:49.550 --> 00:49:51.409
hands were shaky and he's trying to reach into his

861
00:49:51.469 --> 00:49:53.909
pocket and pull out of his cell phone. He got

862
00:49:53.949 --> 00:49:56.889
it out, and he started to dial 911. And when

863
00:49:56.909 --> 00:49:59.789
the operator answered, before she could even get out her

864
00:49:59.829 --> 00:50:03.409
first question, Patrick was alarmed. He was shouting, please, my God,

865
00:50:03.429 --> 00:50:05.969
send help. I need help. My wife is hurt really,

866
00:50:06.010 --> 00:50:09.829
really bad. I think she tried to kill herself. And

867
00:50:09.869 --> 00:50:12.349
the reason he said that was because when he asked

868
00:50:12.369 --> 00:50:15.530
her while he grabbed his phone what happened, she said

869
00:50:16.070 --> 00:50:17.789
that she tried to kill herself. I don't know the

870
00:50:17.829 --> 00:50:20.909
exact words that she used, but I tried to kill myself.

871
00:50:22.329 --> 00:50:24.630
So the 911 dispatcher says, explain to me how she

872
00:50:24.650 --> 00:50:27.269
tried to commit suicide. And you can hear multiple voices

873
00:50:27.309 --> 00:50:30.179
going back and forth on this audio. Where is she now?

874
00:50:30.900 --> 00:50:35.340
And you hear Patrick going, stay awake. Stay awake. Operator's asking,

875
00:50:35.380 --> 00:50:40.179
how old is she? And Patrick says, 31. No, 33. 33.

876
00:50:40.179 --> 00:50:43.809
Dispatcher says, is she awake? Patrick says, yes. Dispatcher asks,

877
00:50:44.070 --> 00:50:48.210
is she breathing? Patrick said, yeah. Lindsay, what did you

878
00:50:48.269 --> 00:50:51.610
do to your neck? Lindsay. And then he says, she's talking.

879
00:50:52.179 --> 00:50:54.739
And the dispatcher said, when did this happen? Patrick said,

880
00:50:54.820 --> 00:50:57.820
in the last half hour. Because you remember, Patrick had

881
00:50:57.840 --> 00:51:01.440
only been gone about 30 minutes or so. The dispatcher asked,

882
00:51:01.480 --> 00:51:05.380
how far did she fall? And Patrick says, 20 feet, right,

883
00:51:05.400 --> 00:51:07.239
from that second floor. And you hear all these multiple

884
00:51:07.280 --> 00:51:10.980
voices talking. Is she responding normally? Patrick said, a little bit.

885
00:51:11.300 --> 00:51:14.800
Wake up. Wake up, Lindsay. And the dispatcher says, what

886
00:51:14.900 --> 00:51:17.360
part of the body was injured? And Patrick says, her neck.

887
00:51:17.980 --> 00:51:21.840
She's breathing. Lindsay, Lindsay, look at me. Look at me.

888
00:51:22.869 --> 00:51:25.460
The dispatcher then asks, are there any weapons? And Patrick says,

889
00:51:25.480 --> 00:51:28.880
I don't see any. Where are the kids? Lindsay, where

890
00:51:28.920 --> 00:51:32.090
are the kids? The dispatcher then gives the advice, do

891
00:51:32.150 --> 00:51:36.050
not move her. And Patrick says, open your eyes. Open

892
00:51:36.070 --> 00:51:39.920
your eyes. Can someone? Okay, Lindsay, look at me. Lindsay,

893
00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:42.889
open your eyes. The dispatcher said, I'm going to tell

894
00:51:42.929 --> 00:51:45.130
you how to stop the bleeding. But Patrick said, it's

895
00:51:45.190 --> 00:51:49.219
not bleeding. It's open wounds. They're like open. She's in

896
00:51:49.260 --> 00:51:52.460
the backyard. And the dispatcher asked, is there something in

897
00:51:52.519 --> 00:51:54.219
her neck or is there a knife or something? Can

898
00:51:54.239 --> 00:51:57.420
you put pressure on it? And Patrick says, no, Lindsay,

899
00:51:57.500 --> 00:52:00.820
wake up, Lindsay. And you can hear Lindsay moaning in

900
00:52:00.860 --> 00:52:03.989
the background. The dispatcher then tells him, look, put some

901
00:52:04.050 --> 00:52:07.610
pressure on the cut. And Patrick continues, Lindsay, look at me.

902
00:52:08.070 --> 00:52:11.309
Say my name, Lindsay. And then he tells the dispatcher,

903
00:52:11.329 --> 00:52:16.340
she's conscious. She's conscious. And the dispatcher readvises, don't move her.

904
00:52:16.719 --> 00:52:18.679
Tell her to be still. And you can hear this

905
00:52:18.780 --> 00:52:22.619
whimpering in the background. And then at that point, the

906
00:52:22.659 --> 00:52:26.039
dispatcher is able to hear sirens approaching in the distance.

907
00:52:26.840 --> 00:52:28.300
So the dispatcher says, I'm going to stay on the

908
00:52:28.340 --> 00:52:31.739
line with you. Is there a fence? Well, about that time,

909
00:52:32.119 --> 00:52:35.110
first responders could be heard in that background arriving. And

910
00:52:35.139 --> 00:52:38.050
so Patrick starts yelling right here, right here. And he's

911
00:52:38.070 --> 00:52:40.929
trying to wave them over right here. So they come

912
00:52:41.030 --> 00:52:44.429
running up and Patrick says, I need y'all to stay here.

913
00:52:44.489 --> 00:52:46.989
I've got to go check on my kids. So at

914
00:52:47.030 --> 00:52:50.900
that point, the responders begin caring for Lindsay and Patrick

915
00:52:51.260 --> 00:52:52.780
went into the house to make sure that the kids

916
00:52:52.800 --> 00:52:55.920
were okay. Keep them focused on something else, anything else,

917
00:52:55.980 --> 00:52:59.679
because if they saw this, this would horrify them. Lindsay

918
00:52:59.719 --> 00:53:02.539
looked scary. So Patrick still on the phone with the

919
00:53:02.619 --> 00:53:07.739
operator is like, hello guys, guys. And you can hear

920
00:53:07.780 --> 00:53:12.030
his feet walking around. And that's when the dispatcher hears

921
00:53:12.090 --> 00:53:18.389
him scream. Oh no, oh no, oh no. When Pat

922
00:53:18.409 --> 00:53:20.130
had gotten to the bottom of the stairs, when he

923
00:53:20.170 --> 00:53:23.530
went down and actually entered the basement, he could see

924
00:53:23.610 --> 00:53:27.690
two of his babies lying motionless on the ground. What

925
00:53:27.730 --> 00:53:31.230
he found was Cora lying face down, but Dawson was

926
00:53:31.309 --> 00:53:35.449
face up. Patrick started screaming, wake up, wake up. He

927
00:53:35.489 --> 00:53:38.219
was desperately shaking the kids trying to wake them up.

928
00:53:38.260 --> 00:53:40.659
Oh my God, this isn't real. This isn't real. And

929
00:53:40.679 --> 00:53:44.440
the dispatcher audibly says, what is he screaming about? What

930
00:53:44.480 --> 00:53:49.920
is he screaming about? And Patrick starts just sobbing, screaming,

931
00:53:50.239 --> 00:53:54.400
and he's just gasping. Oh my God. Oh my God.

932
00:53:54.500 --> 00:53:58.460
And he just starts yelling out again because Patrick realized

933
00:53:58.500 --> 00:54:02.929
at that moment that his third baby, Callan, was across

934
00:54:02.969 --> 00:54:07.869
the room, on the floor, also face down and not moving.

935
00:54:08.940 --> 00:54:12.219
The dispatcher's going, hello, what is going on? And all

936
00:54:12.280 --> 00:54:16.800
Patrick could say was basement, basement. Oh my God. Oh

937
00:54:16.860 --> 00:54:21.820
my God. The dispatcher's like, hello, hello. And Patrick is

938
00:54:21.909 --> 00:54:27.070
just screaming and screaming. Oh, oh my God. Oh my God.

939
00:54:27.409 --> 00:54:31.710
And that's when he yells out, oh, she killed the kids.

940
00:54:32.349 --> 00:54:37.110
Oh my God. Oh my God. Dawson, Dawson, my buddy.

941
00:54:37.670 --> 00:54:40.769
and he starts screaming some more. And all you hear

942
00:54:40.789 --> 00:54:44.969
the dispatcher say at that point is, oh, shit. But

943
00:54:45.010 --> 00:54:50.300
what Patrick was seeing was something no parent should ever

944
00:54:50.820 --> 00:54:55.280
have to see. Dawson was on his back. His head

945
00:54:55.340 --> 00:54:58.320
was lying to one side, and his eyes were open.

946
00:54:59.460 --> 00:55:02.889
He's not moving. He's very still, and all of the

947
00:55:02.989 --> 00:55:06.670
vessels in the typically white portion of his eyes were popped.

948
00:55:07.460 --> 00:55:12.170
So they were completely bloodshot. His face was gray. His

949
00:55:12.289 --> 00:55:16.440
lips were a sick shade of blue. And at that point,

950
00:55:17.050 --> 00:55:19.309
As far as Patrick was concerned, the phone call with

951
00:55:19.329 --> 00:55:22.320
the dispatcher was over. He threw the phone down as

952
00:55:22.360 --> 00:55:24.920
he dropped to his knees and he tried desperately to

953
00:55:24.960 --> 00:55:27.539
help his children. But who do you start with? Where

954
00:55:27.559 --> 00:55:30.039
do you even start when all three of your most

955
00:55:30.239 --> 00:55:34.780
beloved gifts on this planet are hurt and dying or

956
00:55:34.980 --> 00:55:39.159
already dead? God knows what they're going through because none

957
00:55:39.179 --> 00:55:43.510
of them are responding. All three. of these children had

958
00:55:43.789 --> 00:55:49.840
exercise bands, the stretchy exercise bands, twisted tightly around their necks,

959
00:55:49.920 --> 00:55:52.699
just like whenever you tie your shoe, where it's pulled

960
00:55:52.739 --> 00:55:55.500
tight after the loop, but you don't go and put

961
00:55:55.539 --> 00:55:59.699
the bow. It's just the wraparound and the tightening. So

962
00:55:59.739 --> 00:56:03.280
very quickly but gently, he started unwrapping their necks one

963
00:56:03.599 --> 00:56:06.920
by one, but the damage was already done, evidenced by

964
00:56:06.960 --> 00:56:11.119
the very deep indentions that remained around the circumference the

965
00:56:11.199 --> 00:56:16.199
entire circumference of all three of his children's necks. And

966
00:56:16.239 --> 00:56:19.670
the dead weight of their bodies was also just an

967
00:56:19.909 --> 00:56:23.829
unspoken devastation as he lifted up and their heads just

968
00:56:23.949 --> 00:56:27.909
bobbled as he tried to just unwrap these bands from

969
00:56:28.409 --> 00:56:31.500
their necks and hopefully air could go in to their lungs.

970
00:56:32.940 --> 00:56:37.300
The color's that Patrick would never be able to erase

971
00:56:37.320 --> 00:56:40.280
from his mind and would never be able to look

972
00:56:40.349 --> 00:56:46.030
at again as just colors, were black, yellow, and blue.

973
00:56:47.849 --> 00:56:53.909
The black was the cord around six-year-old Cora's neck. Yellow,

974
00:56:53.969 --> 00:57:00.320
the cord tightly around two-year-old Dawson's neck. And blue, tightly

975
00:57:00.380 --> 00:57:05.010
tied around nine-month-old baby Callan's neck. All of the medical

976
00:57:05.070 --> 00:57:08.219
personnel and the officers on the scene at that point

977
00:57:08.579 --> 00:57:12.199
were outside working hard to stabilize Lindsey for transport. And

978
00:57:12.260 --> 00:57:15.760
some of them heard the yells from inside, but they

979
00:57:15.820 --> 00:57:18.909
didn't know who it was or what it was. But

980
00:57:18.969 --> 00:57:21.610
in that moment, that's when the dispatcher keyed up over

981
00:57:21.650 --> 00:57:24.010
the police radios and said, units on scene be advised,

982
00:57:24.110 --> 00:57:26.789
male caller is yelling that he cannot wake up the kids.

983
00:57:28.050 --> 00:57:30.570
So many of the officers on scene at that moment

984
00:57:30.590 --> 00:57:34.789
were daddies themselves. And the words cut through that cold

985
00:57:34.949 --> 00:57:37.280
air as if that dispatcher had just said that their

986
00:57:37.340 --> 00:57:41.579
own children weren't breathing. Multiple officers took off into the house,

987
00:57:41.840 --> 00:57:45.360
and they followed the sounds of Patrick's screams to be

988
00:57:45.400 --> 00:57:49.280
able to locate him. And the sight to these officers

989
00:57:49.510 --> 00:57:53.650
sucked the wind out of even the most seasoned responders.

990
00:57:54.170 --> 00:57:57.510
One child down is enough to break your heart, but three?

991
00:57:58.269 --> 00:58:03.440
Three children all lying motionless on the ground? So Patrick

992
00:58:03.880 --> 00:58:07.429
and Officer Brian Josephine in that moment locked eyes and

993
00:58:07.510 --> 00:58:12.369
Patrick yelled out, she killed the fucking kids. There was

994
00:58:12.409 --> 00:58:15.860
no time, though. To focus on the horror, everyone simply

995
00:58:15.900 --> 00:58:20.119
jumped into action, going into full-on rescue mode. The marks

996
00:58:20.159 --> 00:58:23.000
around Dawson's neck were proof enough that he needed major help,

997
00:58:23.320 --> 00:58:26.780
and he needed now. Not lying on that floor, he

998
00:58:26.820 --> 00:58:30.539
needed to go somewhere else. So Officer Josephine barked over

999
00:58:30.559 --> 00:58:33.550
his radio, we need a supervisor, before dropping down on

1000
00:58:33.590 --> 00:58:36.679
his knees and scooping up the lifeless Dawson and holding

1001
00:58:36.719 --> 00:58:39.809
him tightly, chest to chest, as he ran up the stairs,

1002
00:58:40.110 --> 00:58:43.289
two steps at a time, yelling, move! move to anybody

1003
00:58:43.309 --> 00:58:45.590
in his path so he could get this child to

1004
00:58:45.630 --> 00:58:48.489
an ambulance. There was not enough time to wait for

1005
00:58:48.510 --> 00:58:51.809
the medic downstairs. That baby was going with him, and

1006
00:58:51.849 --> 00:58:53.750
he would run all the way to the damn hospital

1007
00:58:53.869 --> 00:58:56.949
on foot if he had to. But luckily, an ambulance

1008
00:58:56.989 --> 00:59:00.710
was already parked in the driveway, and so Officer Josephine

1009
00:59:00.750 --> 00:59:04.389
never checked up. He jumped inside. He handed off Dawson

1010
00:59:04.409 --> 00:59:07.309
to the EMTs, and as he let go of the

1011
00:59:07.349 --> 00:59:10.769
baby to pass him over to be taken to the hospital.

1012
00:59:11.409 --> 00:59:13.530
During the handoff, he looked down and he noticed that

1013
00:59:13.550 --> 00:59:16.429
there was some type of foam and fluid that was

1014
00:59:16.489 --> 00:59:18.719
remaining on his vest that had been coming out of

1015
00:59:18.760 --> 00:59:21.639
Dawson's mouth. But he couldn't focus on that. He ran

1016
00:59:21.800 --> 00:59:24.420
back into the house to go grab more kids. He

1017
00:59:24.539 --> 00:59:27.019
ran down the stairs as fast as he could. But

1018
00:59:27.059 --> 00:59:29.380
when he got down there, he saw that Cora and

1019
00:59:29.440 --> 00:59:33.619
Callan were already being tended to. by two other fire personnel,

1020
00:59:34.420 --> 00:59:37.829
one on each child. So Officer Josephine ran over to

1021
00:59:37.869 --> 00:59:42.329
Cora and took over chest compressions because she was getting

1022
00:59:42.369 --> 00:59:44.469
CPR and they needed to continue it. And as he

1023
00:59:44.530 --> 00:59:46.820
looked at her little face, she was also blue-lipped. She

1024
00:59:46.860 --> 00:59:49.960
had bloodshot eyes just like her brother. But even more

1025
00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:52.320
distressing is that there was blood coming out of her mouth.

1026
00:59:53.079 --> 00:59:56.340
The band had been pulled and squeezed around her neck

1027
00:59:56.500 --> 01:00:00.099
so tightly that the internal pressure buildup caused the mouth

1028
01:00:00.179 --> 01:00:03.530
vessels to rupture and that blood was just leaking out

1029
01:00:03.570 --> 01:00:06.539
of her mouth. Baby Callan was being worked on by

1030
01:00:06.559 --> 01:00:09.820
a medic who removed his little onesie and immediately started

1031
01:00:09.860 --> 01:00:13.489
compressions on him as well. And despite valiant attempts, she

1032
01:00:13.530 --> 01:00:17.610
was unable to establish an IV nor an IO, which

1033
01:00:17.849 --> 01:00:21.929
is basically drilling into the bone to insert a catheter directly.

1034
01:00:23.190 --> 01:00:26.170
And they do this whenever the situation's very serious, things

1035
01:00:26.190 --> 01:00:30.219
like shock or serious traumas. Because if a patient's blood

1036
01:00:30.260 --> 01:00:33.429
pressure drops dramatically, so low or really, really low that

1037
01:00:33.449 --> 01:00:36.869
their veins collapse, inserting a standard IV is going to

1038
01:00:36.889 --> 01:00:41.170
be nearly impossible to do and especially quickly. So medications

1039
01:00:41.190 --> 01:00:43.369
that are given through the bone are going to reach

1040
01:00:43.389 --> 01:00:45.849
the heart and the brain through the tiny vessels that

1041
01:00:45.889 --> 01:00:49.230
are inside of your bone that empty into the bloodstream.

1042
01:00:50.090 --> 01:00:53.409
It's a painful thing if you're aware, but these kids,

1043
01:00:53.670 --> 01:00:57.650
they weren't responding. As far as baby Callan went, she

1044
01:00:57.690 --> 01:01:00.639
also couldn't get a pulse. It was just so dire.

1045
01:01:01.110 --> 01:01:03.780
So she made the choice. She scooped up his little body,

1046
01:01:04.079 --> 01:01:06.519
cradled him tightly in her arms, and she too went

1047
01:01:06.639 --> 01:01:10.280
bounding up those stairs into a waiting ambulance that was outside.

1048
01:01:10.960 --> 01:01:14.260
They gave epinephrine to try and jumpstart the kids' hearts.

1049
01:01:14.599 --> 01:01:18.030
They attempted IVs. They tried to put in bone catheters

1050
01:01:18.070 --> 01:01:21.010
as well as giving CPR to the best of their abilities.

1051
01:01:21.050 --> 01:01:24.389
They threw everything that they had at these babies before

1052
01:01:24.429 --> 01:01:27.829
loading the final child, Cora, onto a spine board and

1053
01:01:27.869 --> 01:01:31.170
bringing her out of the home to an ambulance. After

1054
01:01:31.210 --> 01:01:34.670
the children were removed, the room looked like a war zone.

1055
01:01:35.650 --> 01:01:38.170
The furniture was tossed about against the walls where the

1056
01:01:38.289 --> 01:01:41.199
officers had just started throwing things out of the way

1057
01:01:41.239 --> 01:01:42.840
to make room for people to be able to work

1058
01:01:43.219 --> 01:01:46.579
on these babies. The carpet was now littered with the

1059
01:01:46.639 --> 01:01:49.179
remnants of medical supplies from the attempts to get the

1060
01:01:49.199 --> 01:01:53.599
babies breathing. There was plastic packaging from syringe covers and

1061
01:01:53.800 --> 01:01:58.659
IV start kits, packaging from gauze pads and bandage materials

1062
01:01:58.719 --> 01:02:04.369
and alcohol prep pads. the rubber nitrile gloves, latex, however

1063
01:02:04.389 --> 01:02:07.210
you want to call it. There was gauze and cotton

1064
01:02:07.230 --> 01:02:10.010
balls and there was a bloodstain on the floor where

1065
01:02:10.170 --> 01:02:14.190
Cora had just previously been picked up from. All that

1066
01:02:15.170 --> 01:02:21.570
remained now in that silent basement that was once bustling

1067
01:02:21.630 --> 01:02:27.570
with emergency personnel was just leftover trash. And detectives would

1068
01:02:27.590 --> 01:02:30.000
be the ones to really take it in and try

1069
01:02:30.019 --> 01:02:32.780
to understand what could have happened here, but that would

1070
01:02:32.820 --> 01:02:36.380
have to come after. Patrick was in the kitchen at

1071
01:02:36.400 --> 01:02:41.389
this point and understandably in extreme distress, borderline in an

1072
01:02:41.550 --> 01:02:44.989
all-out breakdown. The distress was so bad that he was

1073
01:02:45.030 --> 01:02:47.690
exhibiting that police officers were worried that he was heading

1074
01:02:47.730 --> 01:02:50.679
towards a medical emergency himself. And so they radioed for

1075
01:02:50.760 --> 01:02:54.260
another ambulance to come and pick him up. So many

1076
01:02:54.380 --> 01:02:57.780
ambulances were needed that mutual aid had to be enacted,

1077
01:02:57.840 --> 01:03:00.280
which is where They had to bring in ambulances from

1078
01:03:00.360 --> 01:03:04.340
other jurisdictions and agencies to come help and assist this

1079
01:03:04.400 --> 01:03:09.630
entire family of five people. It was insane. Now back

1080
01:03:09.670 --> 01:03:12.590
to Lindsay, it was determined that Lindsay was also in

1081
01:03:12.670 --> 01:03:17.429
dire shape outside, but incredibly, incredibly, she was still alive.

1082
01:03:18.289 --> 01:03:20.469
In the time Patrick had left to go check on

1083
01:03:20.510 --> 01:03:25.179
the kids, she was mumbling and moaning. It was not coherent,

1084
01:03:25.219 --> 01:03:28.369
but you're alive if you're doing so. They had C-spined

1085
01:03:28.429 --> 01:03:30.760
her and put on a collar, placed a collar around

1086
01:03:30.800 --> 01:03:33.840
her neck. They noticed that her wrists were cut, although

1087
01:03:33.880 --> 01:03:36.719
at this point they weren't actively bleeding. They weren't pouring out.

1088
01:03:37.300 --> 01:03:39.860
And she also had cuts on her neck. But when

1089
01:03:39.900 --> 01:03:43.010
they looked in her eyes, her pupils were constricted. So

1090
01:03:43.070 --> 01:03:46.010
right in that moment, they knew that this was a

1091
01:03:46.050 --> 01:03:50.210
supposed suicide attempt. So overdose was something they were very

1092
01:03:50.269 --> 01:03:52.590
worried about. They didn't rule that out. They grabbed some

1093
01:03:52.650 --> 01:03:55.289
Narcan and they gave her a dose of the Narcan.

1094
01:03:55.650 --> 01:03:58.909
But she never like woke up in response after they

1095
01:03:59.199 --> 01:04:01.980
they gave it to her. In a much different finding

1096
01:04:02.019 --> 01:04:05.380
than the children, she was breathing on her own, and

1097
01:04:05.440 --> 01:04:08.739
if they tried any pain stimulus, she would respond to that.

1098
01:04:09.579 --> 01:04:13.659
She seemed to be suffering from a major spinal injury,

1099
01:04:14.300 --> 01:04:16.409
and that was the most pressing issue that she needed

1100
01:04:16.429 --> 01:04:18.250
help with right now if she was going to continue

1101
01:04:18.530 --> 01:04:21.750
to survive. So as the lights and the sirens fired

1102
01:04:21.889 --> 01:04:25.309
off and everyone was being transported to the hospital, the

1103
01:04:25.349 --> 01:04:29.139
work continued on all of them. In Cora's ambulance, she

1104
01:04:29.179 --> 01:04:32.800
was being shocked, paddle-shocked, to try and get back a pulse.

1105
01:04:33.440 --> 01:04:36.880
Dawson and Callen's rescue attempts continued as well until all

1106
01:04:36.900 --> 01:04:41.070
of these ambulances started arriving at the hospital. All three

1107
01:04:41.190 --> 01:04:44.869
children were transported to Beth Israel Hospital, where their conditions

1108
01:04:44.969 --> 01:04:49.150
weren't looking good. Upon arrival, Dawson was in cardiac arrest.

1109
01:04:49.769 --> 01:04:53.500
Cora still had no heartbeat, even after being shocked. And

1110
01:04:53.539 --> 01:04:57.469
Callen was in cardiac arrest, but somewhat responding well. to

1111
01:04:57.530 --> 01:05:01.690
life-saving attempts. Patrick would be brought there as well. He

1112
01:05:01.730 --> 01:05:06.030
was hyperventilating in extreme emotional shock and he was showing

1113
01:05:06.090 --> 01:05:10.380
signs of physical collapse. Lindsay would have been brought to

1114
01:05:10.389 --> 01:05:13.280
a different hospital. She went to South Shore Hospital and

1115
01:05:13.360 --> 01:05:18.159
her condition was critical. The next few hours would prove

1116
01:05:18.340 --> 01:05:22.699
gut-wrenching as Patrick waited for word on the condition of

1117
01:05:22.739 --> 01:05:28.349
his entire family. Three little children lay in hospital beds,

1118
01:05:28.929 --> 01:05:31.639
fighting for a future no one knew whether they would get.

1119
01:05:32.780 --> 01:05:36.980
Their conditions were still unclear while their daddy and grandparents

1120
01:05:37.519 --> 01:05:42.619
and friends sat in stunned silence. And what do you

1121
01:05:42.800 --> 01:05:47.239
say in a moment such as this? I pray to

1122
01:05:47.280 --> 01:05:50.969
God that everyone listening right now, and this is a

1123
01:05:51.010 --> 01:05:56.210
genuine prayer for you, that you would never experience something

1124
01:05:56.250 --> 01:06:03.289
like this. Nobody deserves this. Nobody. And there really isn't

1125
01:06:03.349 --> 01:06:09.099
anything to say. Everyone was just wide-eyed in disbelief that

1126
01:06:09.179 --> 01:06:14.260
this was even really happening. Would the Clancy babies wake up?

1127
01:06:15.139 --> 01:06:20.250
Would Lindsay? Would she live? And was there an explanation

1128
01:06:20.789 --> 01:06:25.070
for this unbearable situation? I'm going to answer that for

1129
01:06:25.110 --> 01:06:28.719
you in next week's conclusion. But as Patrick waited for

1130
01:06:28.760 --> 01:06:35.369
those answers, one question would make a major shift. It

1131
01:06:35.429 --> 01:06:39.449
wasn't really which of my babies will wake up, but

1132
01:06:39.489 --> 01:06:42.000
whether there would be any children left to bring home

1133
01:06:42.619 --> 01:06:42.849
at all.