Behind Closed Doors

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Welcome to Unspeakable, a true crime
podcast where I tell stories of real crimes

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with real victims, whose cases are
so shocking that many are left wondering how

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is this even real? I use
my experiences in law enforcement corrections, and

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combine with my years as a criminal
justice educator, dig deep into complex cases

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of evil acts, some so evil
many feel they are unspeakable. Warning.

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Unspeakable as intended for mature audiences.
If you are easily offended, then I'm

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not your girl. Listening discretion is
advised. Hey y'all, kJ here back

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for an other episode of Unspeakable.
How are you doing You? Probably notice

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I sound a little stuffy, but
that's because I got something going on.

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But I'm gonna fight through just for
you. I'm gonna tell a good story

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today. But before I start,
I have to give some shout outs to

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some people because we got some new
patron members in the house. Let's start

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with Miss Carly Henson from Bruley,
Louisiana and Charlene Bordelaine from Walker, Louisiana.

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I mean, hello Louisiana, peeps. I've also got Tracy Ray from

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the Great I was about to say
the Great State, but from the great

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area of Denham Springs, Louisiana.
All my Louisiana people, what's up?

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Super glad to have you now.
I also have Miss Brianna Jones and Lee

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s No last name for Lee,
but hey, Lee, you know who

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you are. Hey. Remember if
you didn't put your address on Patreon,

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I can't send you your awesome little
gifts that I like to send out.

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So go in there and make sure
that you have your address for me so

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I can get everything to you.
And then from the great state of Texas,

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I've got Miss shell Lee Faine and
Miss Sharon Dixon. How y'all doing

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over there? Hey, y'all?
And then Alabama. I cannot support your

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team. I'm sorry, Miss Jamie. I can't do it. I was

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born against it. But I can
support you and you can support me.

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How about that? So, Miss
Jamie Patterson, how are you doing?

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Then? I I can't believe it. Ohio? How are you doing?

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Ohio? This is Miss Erica Ryan. Hey there, all the way in

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Howahi in Ohio? And then just
a few little jumps over from Florida,

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Miss Laura Krause, Hi Laura.
And then last but not least, all

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the way from Australia, miss Lee, and I think it's Bassill you.

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I hope I said that right,
girl, You get me if I said

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that wrong. Okay, Lee Basill, you so glad to have you all

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the way from Australia. And wow, if that's not just, I don't

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know. It makes me feel good
to know that I'm reaching all over the

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place. And y'all listening to my
story. So thank y'all, so so

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very much. Also, y'all have
asked and I made it happen. People

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are asking about card decals. So
if you want to look at some of

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the little uh mic drop car decals
that I had made, go to unspeakable

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dot com. Unspeakable the podcast dot
com. You can click on merch and

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then there's a new link. You
click there and there's a whole lot of

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new stuff. Go check it out, get you something ordered, and if

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you have anything else you want,
like someone mentioned, hey what about mousepads,

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I'm gonna get those made too,
So go check it out. Let

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me know if you want something else, and Mama will make it happen.

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Now let's jump into this story.
And dang, it seems like I got

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a lot of kid cases. The
last few weeks, but it is what

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it is. This one was requested, and so I'm following through, and

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I'm gonna do this story about a
girl named Sylvia Likns. And before we

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could start talking about Sylvia, I
gotta talk about the woman whose house this

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is gonna take place in. And
I had to do more research than I'm

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proud of to figure out how to
say her last name, because no matter

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how many times I looked it up, everybody said it different. I even

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went to a pronunciation website to figure
out how to say it, and of

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course they said it two different ways. So I'm gonna go with the way

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it was said in the police tapes
when they were doing an interview with this

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person. So it is gonna be
Benichetsky is how I'm gonna pronounce it,

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but other people pronounced it other ways. Don't come at me if you don't

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like the way I'm pronouncing it.
All right, So let's start, though.

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We're gonna be in nineteen twenty nine, so way back in the gap,

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right. This is gonna be about
a month before the Wall Street crash,

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and the US is about to go, you know, take that deep

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dive down into the Great Depression,
and we're gonna have that worst economic collapse

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of you know, the US.
And I don't know if maybe this is

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gonna be some type of foreshadowing in
a way, because someone was born that

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same year who was also going to
bring some epic terror and downfall in her

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lifetime. And her name is gonna
be Gertrude van Fawsen. Now she will

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turn into a Banichetski I mentioned a
minute ago, but for right now,

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she's going to be Gertrude van Fawsen. And she's going to be the third

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of six children born into the van
Faussen family, and they have a mixed

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heritage of both Polish and Dutch.
And she was firmly, firmly regarded as

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a daddy's girl, and all accounts
say that she was doated on by her

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daddy and she always wanted to be
with him and they had a very very

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very good relationship. Now, when
attention was all that was left that her

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father could give her because of the
collapse you know of the US, as

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far as money and luxuries of any
type, a lot of the kids in

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the in the van Faussen family started
to resent Gertrude shorthand we would call her

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Gert. Okay, a lot of
the kids in the family started to resent

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Girt because, like I said,
when there was nothing of monetary value that

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they could be given, it was
a lot to ask to get the attention

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of their father, and their father
really doated on little Gert Now. The

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mother thought it was a bit much, and eventually it shifted towards her own

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mother, hating her because of the
attention that her father gave, and that

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mother daughter relationship became pretty icy,
and the difference in the treatment of the

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children from Gert's mother was a bit
like obnoxious. It became pretty obvious that

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the mom was not very loving towards
little Girt. Now. This would also

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follow her into her school years,
and the friends of Gert's siblings would also

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in turn like to bully on Gertrude
as a like a pack Her father saw

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this issue and would even give more
attention to Gertrude as a result. The

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father ran the household back then,
if you remember that Dad's called the shots,

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and so no matter what everyone in
the family tried to do, the

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dad would always get back little Gertrude. And father and Gert you know,

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they would laugh and joke and she
would sit at the table and read her

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little books were dad, and while
money was scarce, they still had that

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loving relationship. But by one account, it was stated that they were at

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the kitchen table one day. They're
laughing and joking as they always did,

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and Gert's reading to him when he
laughs really, really hard, but then

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his eyes somewhat seemed to bulge from
his head. He's laughing so hard,

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and then he just flat out falls
over and dies. His head slams down

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into the table and he's dead.
Now, I did see another account that

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said that he was actually weeding his
garden whenever he had that heart attack.

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But I mean, just newsflash,
I wasn't there. This was nineteen twenty

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nine. So I'm just giving you
both accounts. You can decide which one

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you want to believe or not.
But I know this, no matter what

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account you believe. Gert starts screaming, right, something's wrong with her daddy,

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And the mom comes running in,
and rather than running straight to her

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father and saying, oh my god, what happened, she turns to Girt

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and screams, what did you do
to him? And immediately puts the blame

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on this child that her father has
just killed over from a heart attack,

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and Gert says, hey, I'll
run to a doctor. I'll go get

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a doctor. I'll do whatever I
need to do, and her mom just

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kind of quit back at her,
I don't have any money for a doctor.

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Do you have money for a doctor. Rather than what you would expect

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the response to be of a mom
grabbing the child and saying, come here,

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come out of here, it's okay, right, kind of sheltering them

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from what's happening and then calling for
help, no, she pretty much just

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kind of snarls back at Gert and
says, this is your fault, and

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I can't fix it because I don't
have the money to fix it. And

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so whenever her dad dies, Gert
is really maladjusted to that big change in

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her life and the one person that
gave her all the support was now gone,

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and everyone that turned against her her
family was who she was left with.

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So she was irrationally blamed by her
mother, and as a child,

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she would suffer from night terrors that
were combined with the increasingly escalating cruelty of

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her mother, and her mom would
even start to beat her and physically abuse

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her after the other kids went to
bed, and so her existence became quite

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sad pretty quickly, and over the
next three years it would just get even

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worse. She got blamed for everything
that happened in the household or didn't happen

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in the household. If there wasn't
enough food, it's because Gert ate too

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much. If something was lost,
it was because Gert took it and she

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lost it. She was always the
brunt of the blame for whatever went wrong.

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So Gert's social life remained pretty desolate
and she would suffer socially emotionally.

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She didn't have that many friends,
and she would eventually give up on female

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relationships because she saw females as the
root of her problems. So her siblings

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and her siblings friends would all start
these vicious rumors about her, saying that

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she was promiscuous and that she was
easy, that she had multiple STDs,

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and just really horrible things to say
about a kid or a teenager who doesn't

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even know how to defend themselves,
and that really just really burned this fire

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into Gertrude that she hated females.
She did not see the value in a

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female because all they do is trying
to drag her down. So when puberty

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hit, she became really really interested
in boys, right, her attention was

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really fixated on the males, and
her mother would often hiss at her,

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you know, that she was acting
inappropriate. However, flirting was really the

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only thing that Gert was ever actually
doing. There's there's no proof that she

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was being promiscuous or hyper sexualized or
anything anything like that. It seemed like

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she just was really flirtatious, but
her mom would really hammer home that she

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was just inappropriate sexually. And on
top of being accused of being a guess

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sexually immoral was the fact that she
was just an average looking girl. She

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wasn't this beauty, you know,
beauty queen. She had to work for

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the attention of the males, and
she didn't really have this outgoing personality either,

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So she didn't have a whole lot
going for her as far as beauty

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and charm. But she would quickly
realize that competition with other girls was a

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real thing if you wanted to get
that male attention, and so in order

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to overcome her lack of beauty or
her lack of charm, she did become

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promiscuous. So, I don't know, manifest destiny or something, but she

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did turn that corner and become a
promiscuous girl. When that did happen,

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then the rumor mill went wild.
But it was too late because Gert got

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a taste of attention. And when
she got that taste of attention, the

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negative you know, things that came
with it didn't really matter. Daddy was

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gone and she replaced him with other
male attention. And you can see how

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quickly that probably went down south with
other girls, you know, in her

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in her neighborhood. Now, older
men were her favorite. Okay, she

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liked those older men, but her
only real connection with a man that she

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will say she ever really had was
with her dad. That was the only

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true loving relationship that she felt.
And because I guess her dad was older,

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I could see why she would jump
towards older males. A matter of

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fact, I see that now in
young girls that lack male attention, and

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so they go for those older men, not realizing that those older men.

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You know, as a young girl, you don't have anything really to offer

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an older man, I guess other
than sexual you know, desire. You're

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not going to be this, you
know, runner of a household. You're

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not gonna be a matriarch. If
you're sixteen and you're sleeping with a thirty

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year old, it just not to
menion. It's illegal, but it's you

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know, it's not really fitting.
But young girls don't see that, you

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know. So at sixteen years old, she would drop out of school.

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She packed up her things, and
she moved out of the house and very

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quickly married a guy named John Bankowitz. Now when you read his name,

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it's look, it's like Benizuski,
and you'll see other people refer to it

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as Benizuski. But like I said, Benichetsky is how it was said in

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the police recordings, and that's why
I'm going with it. So either way,

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they only dated a few months too, So she jumped very quickly into

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this marriage. And I think anyone
in today's times would go a rut row.

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Probably not a good idea young girl
jumping into a marriage after only a

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few months. And John that she
married was an eighteen year old police officer.

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And something kind of sad too,
to mention was that when they got

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married, only his family came to
the wedding. Gert's own family didn't attend

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the wedding. She really had no
friends that were in the wedding. She

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didn't have any support from her family. Her mother disagreed with the marriage,

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and gert hated her siblings because of
all of those rumors of promiscuity and hateful

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things that they had spread about her. So she really, I guess,

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dove headfirst into this marriage thinking that
it was going to save her when you

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could probably see the riding on the
wall that that's not going to happen.

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But they settled into a life,
and it quickly became apparent to John that

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Gertrude had never been taught the things
that a girl should be taught growing up,

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things like how to cook. Again, I'll be back up real quick.

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Someone's going girls don't have to cook, Okay, touche. But I

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think in normal societal standards of the
nineteen sixties that's what happened, right,

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Women stayed home barefoot and pregnant basically, and you needed to cook and clean

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and care for your man. And
not saying it had to be that way,

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but that's what it was at that
time. And Gertrude's own mom didn't

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trust her in the kitchen. It
would never teach her to cook because she

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didn't want to spend any time with
her. She blamed her for her father's

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death, and all they did was
kind of be ousting towards her. So

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00:14:43.360 --> 00:14:46.799
one thing though that John was aware
of what he married her was her reputation,

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and he was very much intrigued by
her sexual expertise that supposedly she had

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based on all the rumors that were
spread about her. Unfortunately, though,

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he found himself not with a submissive
woman, you know, who would basically

208
00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:09.919
mother him, but rather kind of
a dud as a wife. She kept

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00:15:09.960 --> 00:15:16.440
the house kind of clean, but
nagged him constantly about his messes, but

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failed to clean the home. She
was overly frugal with the money, which

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he didn't like, and she always
fussed if he went to get drinks with

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00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:30.240
the guys after work, which again
was kind of a societal normal thing back

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00:15:30.279 --> 00:15:33.639
then. So she didn't clean house, she didn't cook very well, she

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00:15:33.720 --> 00:15:37.279
wasn't good at doing the laundry,
and all she did was bitch about the

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00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:39.919
money. As you can see,
it kind of wasn't off to a good

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00:15:39.960 --> 00:15:43.919
start. So something that kind of
struck me there was that it seems as

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00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:48.240
though control wasn't there for her as
a child. She was completely out of

218
00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:52.799
control. So whenever she got into
this new marriage, she had no example

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00:15:52.799 --> 00:15:54.519
of what a marriage should look like. She doesn't know how to be a

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00:15:54.840 --> 00:16:00.559
motherly, matronly wife figure, and
so what she does is she tries to

221
00:16:00.600 --> 00:16:07.080
take control of every aspect when she
gets a taste of control, and it

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00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:10.919
doesn't make John very happy. So
after about a year of marriage, he

223
00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:12.919
notices, look, she's not even
growing as a wife. Her cooking still

224
00:16:12.919 --> 00:16:18.679
sucks, she's not doing well around
the house. And then John is really

225
00:16:18.759 --> 00:16:23.279
let down and disappointed in the one
place he absolutely expected her to excel in,

226
00:16:23.879 --> 00:16:29.960
which was the bet. She did
not fulfill the rumors that he had

227
00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:32.320
heard about her, that she was
going to be this you know, sexual

228
00:16:32.360 --> 00:16:37.600
temptress as a teen. You know, she's young, she's eighteen years old.

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00:16:38.240 --> 00:16:42.840
She was considered to be kind of
clumsy and laxa daisical in her sexual

230
00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:48.159
antics with him, and John would
argue that he kind of felt duped by

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00:16:48.159 --> 00:16:52.759
her because he was experienced at eighteen
years old with the girls. And he

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00:16:52.840 --> 00:16:56.679
let it be known too. He
made it very clear that she was not

233
00:16:57.000 --> 00:17:02.120
making him happy sexually, and than
her try to meet the bar of what

234
00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:07.000
he wanted, she withdrew sexually,
and John, getting fed up with every

235
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aspect of the marriage, became increasingly
violent towards her. So Gert would become

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00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:17.319
pregnant multiple times in the next few
years of their marriage, and they would

237
00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:22.160
end up having four children back to
back to back. And while I'm not

238
00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:26.440
saying that, you know, she's
a complete victim here, I think she

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00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:32.519
does have a few things going on. Mentally. She's been emotionally abused.

240
00:17:32.599 --> 00:17:34.920
I think she's blamed for the death
of her father, the one person that

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00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:38.480
she loved the most. She's not
taught how to become a woman, and

242
00:17:38.519 --> 00:17:45.839
then she becomes one very quickly and
a mother very quickly, and her husband

243
00:17:45.880 --> 00:17:48.559
is just very degrading of her performance, I guess as a wife and mother.

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00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:53.519
So what she does do is where
she lacks and taking care of John,

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00:17:55.079 --> 00:17:59.759
she flips the script and she becomes
very much engaged in her home.

246
00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:03.680
So she started keeping a very clean
house for the kids, and she took

247
00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:07.559
it upon herself to learn to cook, and she even went and sought out

248
00:18:07.640 --> 00:18:11.319
nutritional advice from her kids doctors to
say, Okay, obviously don't know what

249
00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:14.599
I'm doing. What do I need
to do here to make things better,

250
00:18:15.319 --> 00:18:19.160
she started showing way more attention to
her children, and when that happened,

251
00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:26.279
John got increasingly frustrated and really started
up up in is that not the most

252
00:18:26.279 --> 00:18:29.759
Southern thing you've heard me say thus
far? Up in oh my God.

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00:18:30.279 --> 00:18:36.359
He started increasing the beatings that he
inflicted upon Gert, and his reason was

254
00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:40.920
simply that he says she annoyed him. She absolutely annoyed him, and the

255
00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:45.400
beatings got worse. But John wanted
his police officer career to remain unblemished,

256
00:18:45.880 --> 00:18:51.119
so he was very careful with his
antics. Because he worked with abused women,

257
00:18:51.960 --> 00:18:55.000
he knew the triggers, he knew
kind of what to expect, and

258
00:18:55.079 --> 00:18:59.079
so he tried to be careful that
what he did to Girt was not something

259
00:18:59.119 --> 00:19:03.920
that was blatantly vious to the people
out in public. So Gert would become

260
00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:07.720
better at makeup, and as she
got better at makeup, she would cover

261
00:19:07.799 --> 00:19:12.200
her bruises. And she never had
been taught how to do makeup by her

262
00:19:12.200 --> 00:19:15.240
mother. She kind of had to
self teach it because all her mother would

263
00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:18.279
tell her was that if she did
make up, then that would make her

264
00:19:18.359 --> 00:19:22.799
horrsh okay. And so there was
a whole lot of sexual shame impressed upon

265
00:19:22.839 --> 00:19:26.559
Girt when she was younger, and
this would matter as this story plays out

266
00:19:26.599 --> 00:19:33.799
in her older life. And you
know, after she would have her first

267
00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:37.319
two children. Something I wanted to
mention that I forgot to put in my

268
00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:42.759
notes, but I remember it now
was that she was clinically suffering from a

269
00:19:42.839 --> 00:19:48.200
mental breakdown. And I think today
if she would, you know, the

270
00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:53.640
mental health the mental health standards that
we have in society today, which are

271
00:19:53.680 --> 00:19:57.680
still lacking, but we least have
some you know, semblance of mental health.

272
00:19:57.720 --> 00:20:02.559
Mattering back then in the same sees
is absolutely not even a thing as

273
00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.720
like it is today. And so
when she had this mental breakdown after the

274
00:20:04.759 --> 00:20:10.359
first two kids, when she sought
help, really the only thing that doctors

275
00:20:10.359 --> 00:20:11.519
told her was, you know,
maybe you need to pick yourself up by

276
00:20:11.559 --> 00:20:15.000
your bootstraps. You need to try
harder, you need to wake up,

277
00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:17.920
you need to freshen your face,
make your hair, do your makeup,

278
00:20:18.279 --> 00:20:22.640
be kind to your husband, and
really, you know, take control of

279
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:26.680
your destiny and then you will improve. When the reality of it is it

280
00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:30.880
more sounds like she's suffering from a
deep clinical depression, could even be some

281
00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:37.599
postpartum depression, and something else that
I read said that clinically back then,

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00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:41.720
in today's standards, they might would
even call her bipolar and maybe put her

283
00:20:41.720 --> 00:20:48.240
on some bipolar medication. And that
lack of mental health care, and then

284
00:20:48.279 --> 00:20:51.480
you added two more children on top
of that. You can kind of see

285
00:20:51.480 --> 00:20:55.599
how this was a downward spiral for
this woman. And it kind of in

286
00:20:55.640 --> 00:21:03.720
my mind, if you remember Andrea
Yate's case, where she kept having children,

287
00:21:03.799 --> 00:21:07.319
kept having children, and they went
more towards the religious route than the

288
00:21:07.480 --> 00:21:10.519
medical route to help her, and
then she ends up drowning all of her

289
00:21:10.599 --> 00:21:15.359
children. I almost kind of see
that that story happening here, where she's

290
00:21:15.400 --> 00:21:18.359
just getting worse and worse, but
the times were just not helpful to her.

291
00:21:19.799 --> 00:21:22.119
So she got to know some of
the women in her neighborhood, and

292
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:26.640
that's when she first learned about divorce
from another woman in her neighborhood. And

293
00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:32.279
so this idea of I don't have
to necessarily be with him starts kind of

294
00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:36.720
rolling around her brain. And then
finally John would raise his fist to her

295
00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:40.279
to punch her and beat her,
and that's when she just comes out with

296
00:21:40.279 --> 00:21:41.319
it, Look, I want a
divorce from you. I don't have to

297
00:21:41.319 --> 00:21:45.160
take this and I'm not gonna take
it. And John was literally stunned by

298
00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:48.240
this. You know, he's the
man of the household and he's in charge,

299
00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:52.319
and he makes the money, and
you're the wife. You're supposed to

300
00:21:52.359 --> 00:21:55.400
be submissive and do what I want. And she kind of throws the flag

301
00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:56.160
in his face and says, nah, I don't want to do this.

302
00:21:56.880 --> 00:22:02.160
And by the next week after she
says that the paperwork was filed and she

303
00:22:02.279 --> 00:22:06.839
was awarded full custody of the kids. But kind of sadly, John never

304
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:10.759
contested it. He didn't want to
take care of the kids. He almost

305
00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:17.119
kind of was winning. Still,
so they get a divorce and guess what,

306
00:22:17.319 --> 00:22:21.839
marriage number two is coming in hot
right. She wastes no time and

307
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:26.119
she meets a man named Edward Guthrie
just a few months later and they quickly

308
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:33.880
wed again. They get married,
So obviously Gert's not picking up on the

309
00:22:33.880 --> 00:22:36.519
fact that maybe you ought to get
to know somebody before you marry them.

310
00:22:36.519 --> 00:22:40.240
But again, she's got a lot
going on in her life. And as

311
00:22:40.279 --> 00:22:45.400
you might could guess, he's hashtag
he's a drunk and unemployed. That was

312
00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:48.720
her choice of man at that time. But even though he's a drunk and

313
00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:56.160
unemployed, he married her because those
child support checks that she's supposed to be

314
00:22:56.160 --> 00:23:00.680
getting from John, those were looking
pretty good too, and him Floyd man

315
00:23:00.839 --> 00:23:04.279
right, it's kind of like a
guaranteed income. So the issue would come

316
00:23:04.359 --> 00:23:10.039
that she would get her checks for
child support, but then he would spend

317
00:23:10.039 --> 00:23:12.400
half the checks on liquor before Gert
got any of the money. Again,

318
00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:15.000
the man runs the household, right, she puts the money in the account,

319
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:19.200
he would go spend the money.
Not to mention, he didn't like

320
00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:26.079
her kids, I cannot even today. I know people that marry people and

321
00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:29.559
then they don't like the person they
married's kids. And I'm not sure how

322
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:34.279
you expect that to work out.
Because as a woman, if you don't

323
00:23:34.359 --> 00:23:40.319
like my kids, you can go
fuck yourself. They're my number one job

324
00:23:40.359 --> 00:23:42.799
in life is to love my children, to take care of them. And

325
00:23:42.839 --> 00:23:47.920
if you don't like them, you
can kick bricks, you can get somewhere.

326
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:51.640
But I guess because of the times
back then, it kind of was

327
00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:56.319
what it was. But he saw
those kids as basically baggage, just extra

328
00:23:56.359 --> 00:24:00.680
baggage, and he wanted the check
for for them from their from their father.

329
00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:07.000
One time, he even hit one
of the kids and he woke up

330
00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:11.279
in a ditch with a huge lump
on the back of his head. Okay,

331
00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:14.839
so Gert did get upset with him
for hitting her kids, and she

332
00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:17.759
womped him upside the head. Yeah, I said, won't write that down.

333
00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:21.160
She wamped him, Okay, upside
the head because she wasn't playing.

334
00:24:21.240 --> 00:24:25.400
She did love her children, and
you're not going to hit my kids now.

335
00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:30.279
He never tried that again because he
didn't like that. But something else

336
00:24:30.359 --> 00:24:34.519
kind of changed whenever that happened,
and Gert realized, you know what,

337
00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:40.319
if I'm not getting my way with
men and physically we're not getting along,

338
00:24:40.839 --> 00:24:45.880
like as far as relationship goes,
I have another age old tool in my

339
00:24:47.240 --> 00:24:52.960
you know box of tools that I
need to become good at. And she

340
00:24:52.119 --> 00:24:55.799
realized, you know what it is. It's sex. If I can become

341
00:24:55.920 --> 00:25:00.480
sexually amazing, then I can control
a man. Now I'm sorry, and

342
00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:07.599
she is wrong. I mean,
if you can provide for a man sexually,

343
00:25:07.720 --> 00:25:10.680
I find it hard to believe a
man around here is gonna say no,

344
00:25:11.400 --> 00:25:14.839
how dare you please me? You
know I'm trying to say, like,

345
00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:18.559
Okay, maybe you do have something
kind of going on there. If

346
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:22.960
you disagree with me whatever, I'm
just throwing it out there. So she

347
00:25:22.119 --> 00:25:26.559
upped her game. Her her golden
was all right, I may not be

348
00:25:26.599 --> 00:25:27.759
a good wife, it may suck
it cooking, it may not clean too

349
00:25:27.799 --> 00:25:32.039
well, and I may have a
shitty personality and a horrible man picker,

350
00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:34.680
but by god, I can become
sexually amazing. And so she upped the

351
00:25:34.680 --> 00:25:42.640
antie and she was even able to
get Eddie to stop drinking and was able

352
00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:48.039
to make old Eddie get a job
all by laying the booty on him.

353
00:25:48.119 --> 00:25:52.720
All right, so she started slaying
it in the bedroom and he kind of

354
00:25:52.799 --> 00:25:57.359
changed his ways, and soon thereafter, guess what, he found himself stable.

355
00:25:57.599 --> 00:26:00.559
He had an income, and he
was like, oh my god,

356
00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:03.440
it turns out if I work and
I work hard, I can advance in

357
00:26:03.480 --> 00:26:07.720
the workplace and I can I can
make money. And then it backfired on

358
00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:11.240
Girt because he said, yeah,
I'm pretty much gonna divorce you now that

359
00:26:11.640 --> 00:26:15.279
I'm making I'm making my way and
I don't have to depend on your check

360
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:21.039
from your baby daddy. So he
filed from divorce and he didn't. Are

361
00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:26.319
you ready for this? He didn't
even tell her he filed for divorce and

362
00:26:26.440 --> 00:26:30.559
did not even tell her when she
was served the paperwork. Do you know

363
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:37.319
what his reason and court was for
divorcing her quote unquote the kids annoyed him.

364
00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:41.000
Welcome to being a parent. Your
kids are gonna annoy you. Other

365
00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:45.519
people's kids are gonna annoy you.
But that'd gone right. So their entire

366
00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:52.319
marriage, from the day they met
through the last day and divorce was just

367
00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:55.920
a year, actually less than a
year, all right, So she had

368
00:26:56.000 --> 00:27:03.839
marriage number two under her belt.
And that's when she really starts getting kind

369
00:27:03.839 --> 00:27:07.079
of depressed. Right, she can't
keep a man. She's got all these

370
00:27:07.200 --> 00:27:15.640
kids, she's not she's poor,
you know, And so she does what

371
00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:17.960
I think a lot of women or
a lot of men too, a lot

372
00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:22.960
of us do when we're sad and
we're lonely, is that she starts kind

373
00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:26.480
of reminiscing through those rose colored glasses, you know, of her marriage to

374
00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:30.960
her original husband John, and she
starts going, you know, maybe it

375
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:33.880
wasn't so bad, Maybe things weren't
as bad as I thought they were.

376
00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:37.559
Maybe I really should have stayed with
my husband, and we should have worked

377
00:27:37.559 --> 00:27:41.240
things out, and yeah, we
screwed up, but we're young, and

378
00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:45.480
you know we're gonna make it if
we could just you know, try again.

379
00:27:45.839 --> 00:27:49.759
So she runs into him one night
while I think he was on patrol,

380
00:27:51.240 --> 00:27:55.400
but they start having a conversation.
That conversation went really well, and

381
00:27:55.480 --> 00:27:59.000
she invites her ex husband back to
the house for dinner, and as you

382
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:02.119
can imagine, the kids are super
excited. Right, Oh, my god,

383
00:28:02.799 --> 00:28:06.759
Daddy's back home. Mom's got him
here where they're having dinner, dat

384
00:28:06.799 --> 00:28:11.240
mama's cooking and things. Things are
just this is so exciting. Daddy's back.

385
00:28:11.319 --> 00:28:17.279
And so she got Old John liquored
up, and then she slang her

386
00:28:17.440 --> 00:28:23.200
new her newly mastered brown Chicken,
brown cow right on Old John and then

387
00:28:23.319 --> 00:28:26.559
lo and behold, if the kids
don't wake up for breakfast the next morning,

388
00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:30.400
and guess who's still there, Daddy. That's right, because Daddy spent

389
00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:38.799
the night after he got serviced by
old Girt. And amazingly, they fell

390
00:28:38.880 --> 00:28:45.400
back in love. But they had
grown apart in their you know, their

391
00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:49.240
time when they weren't together, and
they realized, you know what, we're

392
00:28:49.240 --> 00:28:52.960
still in love, even though we're
kind of on different wave lengths, and

393
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:59.519
so they got married again in a
low key affair, but this round,

394
00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:03.720
you know, was so much better. Things were going well, they were

395
00:29:03.799 --> 00:29:11.000
working together until she got pregnant again, and unfortunately she would lose the baby

396
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:14.599
in just the last few months of
the pregnancy. It wasn't in the first

397
00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:18.000
few weeks. It was towards the
end of the pregnancy. And when that

398
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:23.119
happened, she fell into a very
very very deep despair. And when that

399
00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:30.720
happened, rather than John doating on
her or you know, acknowledging what she

400
00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:36.200
was going through and how sad things
were, he really just kind of withdrew

401
00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:38.200
as well and was like, Okay, this sucks. And their love life

402
00:29:38.200 --> 00:29:44.839
shriveled up and it just died dead
flat right there. And so even though

403
00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:49.559
their love life fell apart, apparently
they were still having sex, because shortly

404
00:29:49.599 --> 00:29:55.759
after she lost that baby, she
found herself pregnant again. And when she

405
00:29:55.880 --> 00:29:59.640
was pregnant again, she magically snapped
right back into being a good wife.

406
00:29:59.640 --> 00:30:03.599
And so it's like flip flopping back
and forth, and John was constantly on

407
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:07.200
the verge of leaving, but whenever
she got pregnant again, he was so

408
00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:14.599
happy with her change that he stayed
and even though he had been violent towards

409
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:17.920
her in the past and things,
you know, had kind of gone back

410
00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:22.839
and forth, he even stopped being
really violent towards her. So in her

411
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:30.599
mind she thought, well, maybe
maybe I deserved the violence because I had

412
00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:33.480
been a bad wife, and so
she kind of internalized it and said,

413
00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:36.599
well, I wasn't doing a good
job. He was violent towards me,

414
00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:38.400
but I'm doing a good job,
a good job now, and so he's

415
00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:44.359
been nice to me, so maybe
things will get better. But that cycle

416
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:48.359
kind of continued for seven more years. She would get pregnant, she would

417
00:30:48.519 --> 00:30:52.039
miscarry, she would go into a
depression, he would get violent, things

418
00:30:52.079 --> 00:30:56.440
would go bad, then she'd get
pregnant again, things would get better,

419
00:30:56.720 --> 00:31:00.559
and then she would miscarry again,
and it just was on and on for

420
00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:03.480
seven years. And by the end
of the marriage the second time, she

421
00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:07.279
did have two more healthy children,
but the rest of'em would die before

422
00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:12.480
they ever got to full term.
So I think I've painted a pretty decent

423
00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:17.440
picture here that you can see that
this was just not healthy for her emotionally

424
00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:22.160
physically, their relationships suffered. It
never really recovered, They never got help,

425
00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:25.240
and they just kept spitting out more
kids rather than solving the problems,

426
00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:29.119
which we see that in society today
too. But John would eventually file for

427
00:31:29.160 --> 00:31:36.400
divorce again, and guess what,
Gert would get the kids uncontested again whenever

428
00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:41.160
it was over. So how old
is Gert now? She's about thirty seven

429
00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:45.200
years old, mentally unstable, She's
depending on her child support checks as her

430
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:52.000
income, and she still couldn't make
ends meet. Her life is just not

431
00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:56.559
going well. So over this time
of all of these things happening, she

432
00:31:56.720 --> 00:32:02.119
just becomes flat out bitter and mean, and there's a shift. And from

433
00:32:02.160 --> 00:32:06.400
the time that she was hitting in
one of her ex husband's for hitting her

434
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:10.680
kids too. Now she puts a
lot of blame on her children and she

435
00:32:10.799 --> 00:32:15.200
sees them as causing her issues.
That she can't get a man because she

436
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:19.599
has all these kids and then they
act bad, so no man wants to

437
00:32:19.640 --> 00:32:22.519
be around her, and so she
hates a whole lot of that blame though,

438
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:28.000
on her female children, on her
daughters. Now, you know,

439
00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:32.960
I don't want to blame people,
you know, who are in this situation.

440
00:32:34.440 --> 00:32:37.319
Maybe it's learned behavior, but it
sure does seem kind of like she's

441
00:32:37.400 --> 00:32:44.240
mirroring how her mother behaved when she
lost her husband aka Gert's dad. You

442
00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:47.640
know. So now though, I'm
going to introduce to you the amazing Dennis.

443
00:32:47.839 --> 00:32:50.920
Okay, this is the next man
in her life. And he's a

444
00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:54.279
fellow ten years younger than Gert,
so he's in his twenties. And even

445
00:32:54.359 --> 00:32:59.039
better is he's married. For the
love of God, when she meets him,

446
00:33:00.039 --> 00:33:04.279
it's like she cannot figure this out. You know, God will not

447
00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:08.599
send you another another woman's husband.
If you didn't know that, I don't

448
00:33:08.599 --> 00:33:14.960
think that was in revelations anywhere.
But he's a younger fella, he's married,

449
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:22.880
he's a welder, and he's prone
to self destructive drinking, kind of

450
00:33:22.920 --> 00:33:27.880
like the other husbands that she picked. But he was willing to take on

451
00:33:28.039 --> 00:33:35.039
Gertrude and her busload of heathens.
Amazingly, this young guy, and the

452
00:33:35.079 --> 00:33:37.880
way that she was able to keep
him around during this affair that they were

453
00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:40.960
having was that she would use sex
as a means of rewarding him whenever he

454
00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:46.240
would do something that she wanted.
Right. So what ended up happening was

455
00:33:46.880 --> 00:33:52.079
Dennis's wife found out about their affair, and even though Dennis didn't want to

456
00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:55.160
be with Gert. He wanted to
be with his wife. His wife was

457
00:33:55.200 --> 00:34:00.480
like, how about no, and
she rolled out and started a new relationship

458
00:34:00.759 --> 00:34:04.720
quite quickly, and so Gert was
always there kind of saying, hey,

459
00:34:04.759 --> 00:34:07.240
I'm here, I'll sleep with you, I'll do what you want. And

460
00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:09.559
so he kind of just I guess
settled and said, well, you're here,

461
00:34:09.599 --> 00:34:13.880
and you caused you know, or
we caused my divorce, so I

462
00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:19.360
guess we can just stay hooking up. And she moved Gert moved in with

463
00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:24.760
him only one day after his wife
left. One day, like the ink

464
00:34:24.840 --> 00:34:29.480
wasn't even dry, and she moved
in. So I'm not a big fan

465
00:34:29.519 --> 00:34:32.119
of dentists either, because I don't
think that you know, he made good

466
00:34:32.119 --> 00:34:36.519
decisions even though he's only in his
twenties, but he's just like whatever I

467
00:34:36.559 --> 00:34:40.280
mean, but red flag much even
ludicrous y'all. Remember Ludicrous said you can't

468
00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:44.840
turn a hole into a house wife
posed on ac Right, y'all know that

469
00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:51.599
song, y'all remember it just me? Okay, all right? So no,

470
00:34:51.639 --> 00:34:55.679
sooner did she move in with him, she completely stops taking care of

471
00:34:55.719 --> 00:35:00.239
the house. It's this repetitive cycle
you know of sex will not keep a

472
00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:05.559
man. It's got to be a
full scope here right of you being a

473
00:35:05.599 --> 00:35:10.599
good wife and a good lover and
a good partner. And she refused to

474
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:15.440
clean all together. There was trash
all over the floor, there was bottles

475
00:35:15.480 --> 00:35:19.360
and food everywhere. I kind of
get like an episode of hoarders in my

476
00:35:19.360 --> 00:35:21.840
mind when I start thinking about how
filthy their house was, on top of

477
00:35:21.880 --> 00:35:25.159
the fact there's kids everywhere who don't
clean up after themselves. Can I get

478
00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:29.360
an amen from every parent listening right
now? The kids aren't going to clean

479
00:35:29.400 --> 00:35:32.280
up unless you're hounded them, So
you can imagine the mess. And on

480
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:37.639
more than one occasion it was said
that even her children, like her little

481
00:35:37.639 --> 00:35:42.639
ones, were they choked on food
and trash from the floor, like bottle

482
00:35:42.679 --> 00:35:46.519
caps and things that were just left
on the ground. But what she did

483
00:35:46.599 --> 00:35:52.599
do was be available to him sexually, and so he stuck around for a

484
00:35:52.599 --> 00:36:00.199
while because of how she would treat
him in the bedroom, but eventually he

485
00:36:00.119 --> 00:36:04.920
wanted out. The sex was not
enough, the house was filthy, the

486
00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:07.920
kids were everywhere. He didn't want
the kids, they weren't his, and

487
00:36:07.960 --> 00:36:13.480
so he planned this escape from her
without her really really knowing. The day

488
00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:16.559
he planned his escape, and he
said, Okay, I'm leaving today,

489
00:36:16.639 --> 00:36:22.599
he would say. He came home
and strangely, the house was absolutely immaculate.

490
00:36:23.760 --> 00:36:29.480
She was cooking in the kitchen and
the kids were like hanging around her

491
00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:32.719
and watching her cook, and they
were having almost normalcy in the household.

492
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:37.280
And he was stunned. He was
like taken aback by what is this?

493
00:36:37.960 --> 00:36:42.559
But he was happy. So they
go and to have a conversation in the

494
00:36:42.639 --> 00:36:45.079
room, you know, the side
room, and she apologized for how she

495
00:36:45.119 --> 00:36:47.079
had been acting, and she promised, look, I'm gonna make it up

496
00:36:47.079 --> 00:36:53.239
to you, which included a whole
bunch of brown chicken brown goal time again.

497
00:36:53.440 --> 00:36:55.840
So she starts laying that on him. Now, if you're tired of

498
00:36:55.880 --> 00:37:00.760
hearing me talk about it, imagine
how he's he is that even doing it

499
00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:06.480
is not solving the problems of the
relationship. And after they go in the

500
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:09.199
back and she kind of rocks his
world. She immediately starts talking about wanting

501
00:37:09.239 --> 00:37:14.199
to get married, and Dennis has
a what the fuck moment right then and

502
00:37:14.239 --> 00:37:16.280
there, he completely freaks out and
was like, wait a minute, wait

503
00:37:16.280 --> 00:37:19.760
a minute, just because we went
in the bag and you know, and

504
00:37:19.800 --> 00:37:22.079
had sex and you cooked and cleaned
the house. Doesn't mean I want to

505
00:37:22.079 --> 00:37:25.320
marry you. And he says,
look, I don't. I don't want

506
00:37:25.360 --> 00:37:29.480
this. I don't want kids with
you. I don't want any more kids.

507
00:37:29.480 --> 00:37:31.320
He felt like children were a trap
and that she was trying to trap

508
00:37:31.400 --> 00:37:35.639
him, and her response to him
was, well, I didn't want any

509
00:37:35.679 --> 00:37:38.760
of these kids after my first one
either, But here I am so kind

510
00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:45.239
of like I guess she's saying,
misery wants company. And so they would

511
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:47.920
stick around together long enough that they
would pop out one kid together. His

512
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:53.719
name would be Dennis Lee. And
by that point altogether Gert had seven children

513
00:37:55.079 --> 00:38:01.440
between all of these men. And
in nineteen sixty five, when this story

514
00:38:01.559 --> 00:38:06.320
that I'm going to start into really
starts to take off, this is the

515
00:38:06.360 --> 00:38:08.920
ages that all of these children are, and it's gonna matter. In the

516
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:15.760
story, she has her eldest daughter, Paula, who is seventeen, Stephanie

517
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:22.119
who is fifteen, John who's twelve, Marie who is eleven, Shirley who

518
00:38:22.199 --> 00:38:27.239
is ten, James who is eight, and then little Dennis Lee. Now,

519
00:38:27.280 --> 00:38:29.159
if you're like, holy crap,
Kelly, I can't keep up with

520
00:38:29.199 --> 00:38:30.920
all these kids, don't worry about
it. You're not gonna have to.

521
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.000
I'm I'm gonna get you on track, all right. But before we go

522
00:38:34.079 --> 00:38:39.559
further, remember she's got all seven
kids, and she's seemingly restarting this cycle

523
00:38:39.599 --> 00:38:44.000
of abuse, right, And so
I kind of wanted to say, why

524
00:38:44.079 --> 00:38:49.960
do abusers continue the abuse cycle,
especially when they hated the way that they

525
00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:52.559
were treated? Right? Why does
that happen? Because it's still happening in

526
00:38:52.599 --> 00:38:55.920
today's society. So I went to
one of some of these sites that I

527
00:38:55.960 --> 00:38:59.880
look at, but one of them
is called very wellmind dot com, and

528
00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:04.159
that's where I got a little bit
of this. But the reason abusers continue

529
00:39:04.199 --> 00:39:08.280
abuse and that cycle of abuse is
simply because it feels familiar to them.

530
00:39:08.360 --> 00:39:15.280
It's what they know. So if
the connection between abuse and love is made

531
00:39:15.320 --> 00:39:22.880
early in life, the feelings of
shame and anger, which naturally happen as

532
00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:29.559
a consequence of that abuse, can
become mixed up with sexual feelings, and

533
00:39:29.599 --> 00:39:35.800
that leads to confusion in the person
who is experiencing the abuse. So if

534
00:39:35.840 --> 00:39:39.400
abuse and love kind of get mixed
up in the mind and shame and anger,

535
00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:45.159
which are the consequences of that abuse, you know what I'm saying,

536
00:39:45.639 --> 00:39:51.079
they get mixed up, and it
gives mixed signals about what should be happening

537
00:39:51.079 --> 00:39:55.360
as a result of the abuse,
and so these feelings become interpreted as feelings

538
00:39:55.400 --> 00:40:01.760
of love and passion and can sometimes
even lead to sexual arousal, even though

539
00:40:01.760 --> 00:40:06.079
it's abuse, all right, And
I'm not going super deep into this,

540
00:40:06.159 --> 00:40:07.800
but I just kind of wanted to
show you how the brain can. It's

541
00:40:07.960 --> 00:40:12.960
the brain is amazing, but sometimes
it can really get things confused in the

542
00:40:13.079 --> 00:40:19.280
child's mind. So what happens is
someone who's been abused may believe that they

543
00:40:19.280 --> 00:40:24.519
are attracted to or feel love for
their abuser, sometimes even thinking that they

544
00:40:24.519 --> 00:40:30.960
have a special connection to the abuser, and their experience so far traps them

545
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:37.039
into feelings of intimacy, which are
associated with the abuse because it was imprinted

546
00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:39.599
on them as a very young age, and so there's a confusion between the

547
00:40:39.639 --> 00:40:45.000
two love, intimacy and abuse.
They're so intertwined it's hard to separate them

548
00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:50.280
out. So when they are later
abused, like in an intimate relationship,

549
00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:55.760
they perceive those familiar feelings of shame
and anger as love and passion. And

550
00:40:55.800 --> 00:40:59.719
so I hope you can feel that
like I can, Like when you're young

551
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:05.119
and you're in a bad relationship and
you somehow miss you mistake hurt as part

552
00:41:05.159 --> 00:41:07.800
of the love process, Like they
hurt me because they love me. They

553
00:41:07.800 --> 00:41:10.519
wouldn't hurt me if they didn't care
type thing. But it's just wrong,

554
00:41:10.559 --> 00:41:17.159
it's not love doesn't hurt. So
another thing too, is that in those

555
00:41:17.199 --> 00:41:22.360
feelings of it being familiar, sometimes
abused abused people will become abusive and they're

556
00:41:22.440 --> 00:41:27.719
using it as an attempt to heal
themselves. So, for example, a

557
00:41:27.760 --> 00:41:35.280
survival, a survivor of childhood sexual
abuse may try to undo the abuse by

558
00:41:35.360 --> 00:41:43.119
taking their power back now real quick. If someone is raped in today's society,

559
00:41:43.199 --> 00:41:45.920
will go do a sexual assault kit
on them, right, A sane

560
00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:50.639
nerse sexual assault nurse examiner will come
do that examination on them, super invasive,

561
00:41:51.119 --> 00:41:54.400
lots of swabbing, lots of pictures
taken. And one of the big

562
00:41:54.480 --> 00:42:00.440
things or the big mantras though of
these nurses is that we are not going

563
00:42:00.519 --> 00:42:04.320
to retake the power away from the
victim. So if the victim says stop,

564
00:42:04.360 --> 00:42:06.719
I've had enough, they're going to
stop. If they say no,

565
00:42:06.760 --> 00:42:08.599
I do not want pictures taken of
me they're not going to take the pictures.

566
00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:13.800
They're not going to force someone because
their power was already taken by someone

567
00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:16.840
against their will. We are not
going to further that by taking their power

568
00:42:16.920 --> 00:42:22.920
away. Again. Well, that's
kind of where these abuses. These people

569
00:42:22.920 --> 00:42:28.840
who are abused become abuser themselves because
they're trying to heal themselves by taking back

570
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:32.800
the power and by engaging in a
relationship with another abuser. They can try

571
00:42:32.840 --> 00:42:38.679
to relive the relationship with their original
abuser, but in this instance, they

572
00:42:38.679 --> 00:42:44.039
want to get it right because they
have the power. So similarly, by

573
00:42:44.039 --> 00:42:46.800
becoming an abuser, someone who has
been abused can play the role of the

574
00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:54.519
more powerful person in the relationship in
an attempt to overcome the powerlessness they felt,

575
00:42:54.840 --> 00:43:00.400
but unfortunately it's not effective, and
they may repeatedly dominate others in that

576
00:43:00.440 --> 00:43:06.840
feudal attempt to get over the weakness
that they experienced, but they're never healing

577
00:43:06.840 --> 00:43:09.239
themselves. And it seems like Gert
was one of those people that all this

578
00:43:09.360 --> 00:43:16.400
misinterpretive abuse or misinterpreted abuse for love
and then the power struggle. It seems

579
00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:21.920
like she's jumping right in and that's
why she herself becomes an abuser. So

580
00:43:22.119 --> 00:43:29.280
here's Gert A Haggard asthmatic chain smoker, who is now continuing to I'll say

581
00:43:29.280 --> 00:43:35.159
in quotes, raise her kids.
But she's again alone because all the men

582
00:43:35.199 --> 00:43:40.679
in her life have left her.
And the main parts of this story are

583
00:43:40.679 --> 00:43:45.320
going to start at this time when
that daughter Paula that I mentioned a moment

584
00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:52.880
ago is a teenager herself. Paula
is seventeen and she is the eldest of

585
00:43:52.920 --> 00:43:57.599
Gert's children. But Gert is more
of a friend to Paula than she is

586
00:43:57.639 --> 00:44:02.760
a mother. Now, something that
Paula had to deal with was that Gert

587
00:44:04.159 --> 00:44:07.880
would bombard her with her troubles,
and Paula was kind of forced to listen

588
00:44:07.920 --> 00:44:13.880
to all of her mother's problems and
eventually that gets to be a lot for

589
00:44:13.920 --> 00:44:17.360
a kid. Kids should not have
to shoulder adult problems, but adults do

590
00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:22.199
it to kids all the time.
Think about divorce right where they You know,

591
00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:25.000
people who are getting divorced always put
their problems on, you know,

592
00:44:25.039 --> 00:44:28.719
their seven year old kid, like
their kid is supposed to understand it all

593
00:44:28.760 --> 00:44:31.360
and the complexities of it all.
And Paula gets burned out on it.

594
00:44:32.119 --> 00:44:38.920
So Paula switches her attention as she's
now seventeen, and she starts becoming interested

595
00:44:39.000 --> 00:44:45.079
in a boy that she knows.
And she's not promiscuous like Gert was her

596
00:44:45.079 --> 00:44:50.599
mother, but she's definitely interested for
sure in this boy. So at one

597
00:44:50.599 --> 00:44:53.079
point things got really hot and heavy
and they were kissing and they were touching

598
00:44:53.079 --> 00:44:55.920
each other at the house, and
that's when her mom, Gert, busts

599
00:44:55.960 --> 00:45:04.440
in and just unleashes all out age
on the two. She grabs Paula by

600
00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:08.880
her hair and hurls her across the
room, screaming insults at her. She

601
00:45:08.920 --> 00:45:13.559
starts calling her a whore and every
other name under you under the sun.

602
00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:16.239
And the boy that she was making
out with is trying to scramble and get

603
00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:22.199
out of the house. And from
that point forward, Gert orders that her

604
00:45:22.599 --> 00:45:29.679
sons that they are going to remove
all doors in that house and there will

605
00:45:29.719 --> 00:45:32.599
be no doors in this house,
and no one will go without her being

606
00:45:32.639 --> 00:45:37.000
able to see what they are doing
at any moment's time when she wanted to

607
00:45:37.480 --> 00:45:40.400
and to really serve this, you
know, this point home, she then

608
00:45:40.519 --> 00:45:45.679
took them all outside and made them
take the doors of the house and she

609
00:45:45.840 --> 00:45:50.519
burned them in a fire so that
they all knew how permanent this was and

610
00:45:50.559 --> 00:45:53.280
there would be no privacy in the
home. And then from that point forward,

611
00:45:53.599 --> 00:46:00.920
Gert becomes obsessed with purity of her
girls, and he comes just almost

612
00:46:00.960 --> 00:46:08.320
like a cult towards her kids,
where she's giving these daily lectures about purity

613
00:46:08.519 --> 00:46:15.159
and sexual perversion, and she starts
making them go to church constantly, which,

614
00:46:15.159 --> 00:46:16.639
hey, I'm not saying church is
a bad thing, but you can't

615
00:46:16.639 --> 00:46:22.280
always be shoving it down a kid's
throat. Well. As Gert kind of

616
00:46:22.280 --> 00:46:30.159
gets over that manicness, then that
kind of starts fading and she goes back

617
00:46:30.159 --> 00:46:34.920
to her normal ways where she's kind
of zoned out, sleeping in her bedroom,

618
00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:37.880
smoking constantly, not taking care of
the kids and leaving them to their

619
00:46:37.880 --> 00:46:43.679
own devices. So Paula starts going
to bars to meet guys without her mom

620
00:46:43.800 --> 00:46:46.880
finding out. She kind of sneaks
out, and one man that she meets

621
00:46:47.079 --> 00:46:52.920
ends up being an older man she
falls for and she starts sleeping with him.

622
00:46:52.840 --> 00:46:57.800
And after she starts sleeping with him, that's when Paula finds out that

623
00:46:57.920 --> 00:47:02.800
not only is he not single,
but this older guy was married and he

624
00:47:02.920 --> 00:47:08.519
wasn't gonna be with Paula she was
just basically his side piece. So Paula

625
00:47:08.559 --> 00:47:15.880
immediately dumped this guy, and shortly
thereafter after she stops seeing him. Guess

626
00:47:15.920 --> 00:47:21.239
what, she finds herself pregnant.
So when gart finds out that her daughter,

627
00:47:21.480 --> 00:47:23.960
you know, is pregnant, she
hits a breaking point and kind of

628
00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:28.920
just completely becomes just a worthless piece
of crap, I guess is the best

629
00:47:28.920 --> 00:47:31.079
way to put it. She doesn't
have really that many redeeming values at this

630
00:47:31.119 --> 00:47:36.280
point, so she stops eating.
She becomes really bony and nasty. She's

631
00:47:36.400 --> 00:47:40.079
vicious. All she does is just
chain smoke all the time. She's not

632
00:47:40.159 --> 00:47:44.960
taking care of her kids. She
refuses to let the kids clean up,

633
00:47:45.239 --> 00:47:47.880
and she really kind of revels in
the disgustingness of their home. She's kind

634
00:47:47.880 --> 00:47:51.320
of like, no, if we're
gonna be nasty people, then we're just

635
00:47:51.320 --> 00:47:57.239
gonna be nasty people. And eventually
there's like this shift that whenever Gert kind

636
00:47:57.280 --> 00:48:01.800
of gives up and starts doing her
own thing, Paula becomes kind of the

637
00:48:01.840 --> 00:48:06.400
head of the household in a strange
way because she's the next oldest person in

638
00:48:06.440 --> 00:48:08.400
the home. Well, when you
have a seventeen year old who's pregnant,

639
00:48:08.440 --> 00:48:12.760
mind you in charge of the home. Guess what happens. It becomes a

640
00:48:12.760 --> 00:48:15.119
teen hangout. All the kids in
the neighborhood realize, oh, hey,

641
00:48:15.159 --> 00:48:17.840
we can go hang out over there, and we can do whatever we want.

642
00:48:17.880 --> 00:48:22.239
We can smoke and cuss and talk
about whatever we want to and nobody's

643
00:48:22.239 --> 00:48:29.039
gonna stop us, even if there's
an adult there. Because Gert even starts

644
00:48:29.159 --> 00:48:34.199
joining in with the teen So she's
smoking with the teenagers, talking trash.

645
00:48:34.400 --> 00:48:37.559
She even like instigates fights, and
when they'll squabble, she'll even get in

646
00:48:37.599 --> 00:48:42.920
on the fights. There's literally no
someonance of parenting going on in this home.

647
00:48:43.360 --> 00:48:45.480
But from the outside, the house
just looks like a normal middle class

648
00:48:45.519 --> 00:48:49.360
America house. And I do have
photos and I will be sharing this with

649
00:48:49.400 --> 00:48:53.320
you, But nobody on the outside
really would have known what was going on

650
00:48:53.320 --> 00:48:57.199
on the inside, and the teens
would have been fools to go share it

651
00:48:57.199 --> 00:49:00.000
and tell anybody, because then their
little honey hoole would would be described.

652
00:49:00.119 --> 00:49:05.159
Did so paul st Paula starts letting
all these teens come over. Girt's not

653
00:49:05.239 --> 00:49:10.760
really do anything about it, and
so whenever you know, this chaos is

654
00:49:10.760 --> 00:49:15.920
happening in the home. It just
becomes kind of weird that the kids do

655
00:49:15.960 --> 00:49:19.639
whatever they want to do. And
at one point, Paula says, I

656
00:49:19.719 --> 00:49:22.159
kind of need a break from the
chaos that's going on in my house.

657
00:49:22.960 --> 00:49:25.440
She had been hiding the pregnancy from
all the kids at school. She did

658
00:49:25.480 --> 00:49:30.480
try to you know, she did
try to hide it from her siblings at

659
00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:32.960
first because she was trying to keep
some type of normalcy. And at some

660
00:49:34.039 --> 00:49:37.840
point she befriended a girl named Darlene
McGuire that lived, I believe, really

661
00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:42.039
close to them, and people said
that she was a really sweet girl,

662
00:49:42.159 --> 00:49:44.840
had a heart of gold, Like
she was that kid that would take in

663
00:49:44.920 --> 00:49:47.280
animals, like stray animals all the
time. She would even try to help

664
00:49:47.320 --> 00:49:51.519
stray kids, you know, ones
that just kind of showed up or relatch

665
00:49:51.599 --> 00:49:57.920
key kids. And one day,
while they're in town, these two sisters

666
00:49:58.000 --> 00:50:04.239
were found wandering the streets and Darlene
brought them home. So sweet girl that's

667
00:50:04.280 --> 00:50:07.960
friends with now Paula brings home these
two girls that were just young and randomly

668
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:13.880
wandering the streets. And these two
girls names were Jenny and Sylvia Likns.

669
00:50:14.679 --> 00:50:17.800
Now why were they just randomly walking
the streets. Great question, glad you

670
00:50:17.840 --> 00:50:22.039
asked. Their mom's name was Betty, who was married to their dad,

671
00:50:22.119 --> 00:50:30.719
Lester, and they were just kind
of your typical low class struggling to make

672
00:50:30.800 --> 00:50:35.199
it, kept reproducing type of family. And I'm not talking bad about them.

673
00:50:35.239 --> 00:50:39.079
I'm just saying that Lester had an
eighth grade education and Betty didn't seem

674
00:50:39.119 --> 00:50:42.960
to have much better, and they
were kind of doing I guess, the

675
00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:47.039
best they knew how, but it
wasn't very good, and Lester would sometimes

676
00:50:47.039 --> 00:50:52.199
be abusive towards Betty. And one
day Betty had enough and so she fled

677
00:50:52.239 --> 00:50:55.360
the house with you from their abusive
dad in the night, and she took

678
00:50:55.360 --> 00:51:00.880
the two girls with them. Well, when they fled, they had jumped

679
00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:07.400
on a bus and it took them
to town where they had run out of

680
00:51:07.440 --> 00:51:10.719
money. So there was the mom
with her kids and didn't have any money.

681
00:51:12.079 --> 00:51:14.760
So what she did was she went
to go try to steal some food

682
00:51:14.760 --> 00:51:16.559
for them because she had spent all
the money on the bus tickets, and

683
00:51:16.639 --> 00:51:21.519
she got caught and they arrested the
mom. Well, when they arrested Betty,

684
00:51:22.119 --> 00:51:27.000
the little girls, Sylvia and Jenny, they fled because they didn't want

685
00:51:27.000 --> 00:51:30.000
to get caught too well when they
ran, that's when they were kind of

686
00:51:30.039 --> 00:51:32.079
just wandering the streets with nowhere to
go. Their mom had been arrested and

687
00:51:32.119 --> 00:51:37.199
their dad didn't even know they were
gone. And that's when Darlene found them

688
00:51:37.239 --> 00:51:42.400
and Paula, Gert's daughter, says, hey, you can come back to

689
00:51:42.519 --> 00:51:46.079
our house. So the girls go
back with them. They're hungry, right

690
00:51:46.119 --> 00:51:52.119
and they don't have anywhere to be, and Gert strangely responds very positively to

691
00:51:52.159 --> 00:51:59.320
them showing up to the house.
She says, sure, I completely understand

692
00:51:59.360 --> 00:52:02.719
y'all are in a rough spot.
And she's very kind, and the Likings

693
00:52:02.719 --> 00:52:06.159
girls are like, oh my god, this is great. You know someone's

694
00:52:06.199 --> 00:52:09.639
willing to be kind to us,
and you know this is wonderful. So

695
00:52:09.760 --> 00:52:15.400
I want you in your mind right
now to start just a few months clock,

696
00:52:15.480 --> 00:52:17.320
because everything I'm about to tell you
from here on out is going to

697
00:52:17.360 --> 00:52:22.760
happen in just a couple of months. So it's about December of nineteen sixty

698
00:52:22.760 --> 00:52:27.159
five where we're at. And I
thought, before I go any further,

699
00:52:28.239 --> 00:52:30.880
I wanted to tell you what Sylvia
Likings was like. Okay, she was

700
00:52:30.920 --> 00:52:37.639
the older of the two girls that
were found wandering the streets. So Sylvia

701
00:52:37.760 --> 00:52:40.320
was a teenage girl of these lower
class parents, like I mentioned, who

702
00:52:40.400 --> 00:52:45.639
struggled a lot financially. I mean, they were not having a good time,

703
00:52:45.119 --> 00:52:51.840
and Sylvia was the kind of kid
that would help out. She said,

704
00:52:51.880 --> 00:52:53.679
if y'all are struggling, I'm I'm
gonna help out. And I thought

705
00:52:53.679 --> 00:52:57.679
that was rather endearing when I read
about it. But how would she help

706
00:52:57.679 --> 00:53:00.039
her parents out? Well, it
was reported that she would do odd and

707
00:53:00.119 --> 00:53:05.519
ends jobs like she would babysit,
she would run errands for people, she

708
00:53:05.559 --> 00:53:08.320
would iron for friends and neighbors,
anything that she could do that wasn't a

709
00:53:08.320 --> 00:53:12.199
lot of skill and could bring,
you know, bring some money to the

710
00:53:12.199 --> 00:53:15.760
household. And those that were close
to him knew that she would even give

711
00:53:15.840 --> 00:53:19.599
her earnings to her mom so that
her mom could try to make ends meet.

712
00:53:20.159 --> 00:53:22.400
And she loved music. She liked
the popular music at the time,

713
00:53:22.440 --> 00:53:27.840
so like she was a Beatles lover. And they people that knew or said

714
00:53:27.840 --> 00:53:30.199
that she was friendly, and she
came across as a confident girl, and

715
00:53:30.239 --> 00:53:36.119
she was full of life, and
that confidence was something that people really liked

716
00:53:36.159 --> 00:53:38.719
about her, but it was kept
in check because one time when she was

717
00:53:38.840 --> 00:53:43.639
younger, she was wrestling with her
brothers and one of her brothers accidentally kicked

718
00:53:43.639 --> 00:53:46.599
out one of her front teeth,
and so that confidence was kind of checked

719
00:53:46.599 --> 00:53:50.639
when that front tooth was kicked out. And so as a result, when

720
00:53:50.639 --> 00:53:53.320
I post pictures of Sylvia for you
to see, usually she's going to be

721
00:53:53.360 --> 00:53:58.119
sporting her long, wavy, you
know, brown hair, but she was

722
00:53:58.159 --> 00:54:00.159
gonna look well kept and you know, well put together. But her mouth

723
00:54:00.239 --> 00:54:05.280
is always closed when she smiles because
she wanted to hide that imperfection. And

724
00:54:05.360 --> 00:54:08.400
her little nickname that her friends called
her by was Cookie. But that sweet

725
00:54:08.599 --> 00:54:15.679
nickname was in contrast to how fiercely
she was protective of her younger sister Jenny.

726
00:54:15.760 --> 00:54:22.039
So her love for her little sister
was completely and utterly unchallenged. She

727
00:54:22.119 --> 00:54:27.840
loved her sister more than anything else
in her life. And she had just

728
00:54:27.880 --> 00:54:31.679
a soft spot for her sister Jenny
because Jenny suffered from the effects of polio,

729
00:54:32.159 --> 00:54:37.519
and silvio was there for her to
kind of pick up where Jenny lacked.

730
00:54:37.079 --> 00:54:42.920
She was so understanding and loving of
her sister, and the polio was

731
00:54:42.960 --> 00:54:45.320
so bad in little Jenny that she
even had to wear braces on her legs.

732
00:54:45.400 --> 00:54:47.800
She was weak, you know,
she couldn't do a lot of things

733
00:54:47.800 --> 00:54:52.360
that other kids could do. And
Sylvia made a point to spend a lot

734
00:54:52.360 --> 00:54:54.519
of her time with her little sister
Jenny, and they loved going in and

735
00:54:54.559 --> 00:54:59.320
having fun together. Even on a
couple of occasions I read about that they

736
00:54:59.320 --> 00:55:04.519
would go to the local skating rink
together and living up to her big sister

737
00:55:04.599 --> 00:55:08.400
protective status, Sylvia would help her
little sister Jenny skate because she would hold

738
00:55:08.480 --> 00:55:13.679
her hand and Jenny would skate on
her good foot that was not damaged by

739
00:55:13.679 --> 00:55:17.239
the polio. So basically, these
were two good kids just live in there

740
00:55:17.360 --> 00:55:21.840
the best life that they could.
And I thought it was kind of interesting

741
00:55:21.880 --> 00:55:24.440
too that her family they had more
kids than they could take care of.

742
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:29.639
But I don't think it was necessarily
like on purpose, because believe it or

743
00:55:29.639 --> 00:55:34.000
not, they had two sets of
natural twins, and Sylvia was just the

744
00:55:34.039 --> 00:55:39.960
middle child between the two sets of
twins, so they had Jenny, her

745
00:55:39.960 --> 00:55:45.679
little sister, Jenny had a twin
named Benny, and then her older sister

746
00:55:46.840 --> 00:55:52.159
was also a twin. Her older
sister, Diana was also a twin to

747
00:55:52.320 --> 00:55:55.719
her other brother and you're not gonna
hear a lot about Diana though, because

748
00:55:55.719 --> 00:56:00.320
Diana got married at age eighteen and
moved out very quickly her husband's family because

749
00:56:00.559 --> 00:56:07.039
she thought that that was going to
better her situation. So these were two

750
00:56:07.079 --> 00:56:12.079
good kids. Now. The next
morning, after they went and stayed with

751
00:56:12.159 --> 00:56:17.519
Girt and her and her crew,
their dad shows up at the house after

752
00:56:17.639 --> 00:56:22.079
Darlene led him there. So he
had kind of gotten worried about where his

753
00:56:22.159 --> 00:56:24.400
family was, and that little girl, Darlene that lived on the street that

754
00:56:24.480 --> 00:56:31.519
was super sweet led him to Gertrude's
house with Paula and the way, you

755
00:56:31.559 --> 00:56:37.239
know, the mom Betty had called
him after her arrest and they reconciled over

756
00:56:37.280 --> 00:56:38.400
the phone, like this was stupid. I shouldn't have run away. I

757
00:56:38.400 --> 00:56:42.159
got arrested. He says, I'm
coming to town. I'm gonna get you.

758
00:56:42.719 --> 00:56:45.079
But what's kind of weird about this
is after he comes and finds his

759
00:56:45.159 --> 00:56:53.599
two daughters, he begs Gertrude to
keep his daughters because he and their mom

760
00:56:53.679 --> 00:57:00.039
were going to be joining the traveling
circus and there was no room for the

761
00:56:59.840 --> 00:57:01.079
girls. And I know, right
now you're like, up, here's some

762
00:57:01.119 --> 00:57:05.320
bullshit. You're joining the circus.
Y'all know it's actually true. Okay,

763
00:57:05.360 --> 00:57:07.719
I want you to think back.
This is like that Barnum and Bailey's traveling

764
00:57:07.719 --> 00:57:12.760
circus. It only happened during the
summer, and they were only going to

765
00:57:12.840 --> 00:57:15.079
be able to make the bulk of
the money that they were able to make

766
00:57:15.239 --> 00:57:21.559
at the circus selling concessions and all
that stuff. So I kind of was

767
00:57:21.599 --> 00:57:24.000
intrigued by this, and I'm like, okay, so you're just gonna dump

768
00:57:24.039 --> 00:57:28.159
your two kids with two people because
you want to run off and work for

769
00:57:28.199 --> 00:57:31.760
the circus. That sounds kind of
crappy. But the more I researched and

770
00:57:31.800 --> 00:57:35.679
I kind of started thinking about it, I kind of get where these parents

771
00:57:35.679 --> 00:57:37.960
were coming from. But don't come
at me. Just listen real quick.

772
00:57:37.679 --> 00:57:45.679
So one summer before this, they
did already work for this traveling carnival and

773
00:57:45.679 --> 00:57:47.280
it went okay. The kids were
with them, you know, it was

774
00:57:47.400 --> 00:57:53.119
long hours, but some of the
kids had gone and stayed with their grandparents

775
00:57:54.400 --> 00:58:00.360
and talking about Danny and Benny this
go round. This is the second summer

776
00:58:00.400 --> 00:58:02.119
when things were a bit different.
The oldest daughter, like I told you,

777
00:58:02.159 --> 00:58:06.760
Diana, had moved out because she
got married and This kind of left

778
00:58:06.920 --> 00:58:12.360
Danny, Binny, Jenny, and
Sylvia with their parents who couldn't afford to

779
00:58:12.360 --> 00:58:16.519
take care of them and their finances
had gotten worse. So the thinking of

780
00:58:16.559 --> 00:58:21.480
the parents was while the boys would
be fine, they could stand up and

781
00:58:21.519 --> 00:58:23.559
they could sell the treats and the
cotton candy and all that the whole day,

782
00:58:24.440 --> 00:58:29.039
and even Sylvia would be able to
help out and could help maximize their

783
00:58:29.079 --> 00:58:35.920
income. The problem was that they
were thinking about Jenny and that the workload

784
00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:37.960
was going to be too demanding for
her because of her disabilities, because she

785
00:58:38.000 --> 00:58:42.840
would have to stand all day and
with her legs in the sad condition from

786
00:58:42.880 --> 00:58:45.280
the polio, that was just going
to be super super hard for her.

787
00:58:45.840 --> 00:58:50.840
The other issue that they had was
they thought, I don't know if we

788
00:58:50.880 --> 00:58:58.719
need to be really dragging our two
girls to this traveling circus because the girls

789
00:58:58.760 --> 00:59:01.800
would be working in an environ mainly
of all adult men. And they kind

790
00:59:01.840 --> 00:59:05.000
of were like, you know,
the girls are getting older and they're pretty

791
00:59:05.039 --> 00:59:07.400
little girls, and it just doesn't
seem right to have them working in that

792
00:59:07.519 --> 00:59:13.199
environment with all adult males. Jenny
can't take care of herself, Sylvie would

793
00:59:13.199 --> 00:59:15.840
have to be taking care of Jenny
the whole time, and so I think

794
00:59:15.840 --> 00:59:19.079
in their mind they thought this would
be a good move. It's just for

795
00:59:19.119 --> 00:59:23.920
the summer, and it would help
Gert because they said, we will send

796
00:59:23.960 --> 00:59:30.639
you twenty dollars a week if you
keep them for helping out with our girls.

797
00:59:30.599 --> 00:59:35.360
Well, Gert was thrilled when she
heard this, because all she could

798
00:59:35.360 --> 00:59:37.679
think about was, all right,
twenty dollars a week for cigarette money,

799
00:59:37.719 --> 00:59:39.760
you know what I'm saying, because
you wann't gonna take care of the kids.

800
00:59:40.480 --> 00:59:45.079
The issue was that the Likings parents
never actually went into the house and

801
00:59:45.440 --> 00:59:51.079
looked around at the disgusting circumstances and
didn't realize that, yeah, this home

802
00:59:51.159 --> 00:59:54.320
is a teenager's dream if you think
about the fact that there's no rules and

803
00:59:54.360 --> 01:00:00.639
there's a teenage hierarchy with no adult
supervision. They didn't really look into that,

804
01:00:01.000 --> 01:00:09.159
so they leave their girls in this
cessed pool of nothing but problems that's

805
01:00:09.159 --> 01:00:15.679
about to turn horrifically bad for their
daughters. I think I'm gonna leave it

806
01:00:15.679 --> 01:00:19.880
there for now, because I had
to give you all this background so that

807
01:00:19.920 --> 01:00:22.079
you will know kind of how we
got where we're going to be and where

808
01:00:22.079 --> 01:00:23.519
we're heading to do not give up
on me. Don't be mad at me.

809
01:00:23.559 --> 01:00:27.599
I know I gotta make this in
multiple parts, but trust me,

810
01:00:27.800 --> 01:00:30.760
it's all about the details. Okay, It's all about the details. And

811
01:00:30.960 --> 01:00:34.920
I think something that's super sad in
my opinion about this is that, you

812
01:00:34.920 --> 01:00:37.840
know, I hate whenever kids are
involved in poor parenting and bad decisions on

813
01:00:37.880 --> 01:00:40.679
their behalf, because all they have
is innocence, you know, to work

814
01:00:40.719 --> 01:00:44.880
with to defend themselves, and innocence
is never going to be, you know,

815
01:00:44.960 --> 01:00:50.039
a good defense mechanism. And even
though Gert went through a lot in

816
01:00:50.079 --> 01:00:52.920
her lifetime, I think you can
see that she's not turning out to be

817
01:00:52.960 --> 01:00:55.360
a very good parent. She's not
a very nice person. But it's kind

818
01:00:55.360 --> 01:00:58.559
of like, I don't know what
you expect. You can't shake a hor

819
01:00:58.599 --> 01:01:00.199
tree and expect an angel to fall
out. Alt