July 7, 2026

The Doctor's Secret: Dr. Whitney Temple's Final Stand

The Doctor's Secret: Dr. Whitney Temple's Final Stand
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Season 11

KJ dives deep into the tragic story of Dr. Whitney Morgan Temple, a dedicated physician battling a rare and aggressive form of bone cancer, and the man who was supposed to love and protect her—her husband, Joshua "Josh" Temple. Married in 2020 after meeting in 2018, the couple's life in Grand Forks, North Dakota, unraveled when Whitney was diagnosed with Ewing sarcoma in 2022.

As her health rapidly declined under brutal chemotherapy treatments, Josh's role as caregiver turned into one of control, gaslighting, and horrifying abuse. Whitney endured horrific verbal assaults—along with physical violence that left bruises and worsened her already fragile condition. Despite her pain and vulnerability,
Dr. Temple found the courage to secretly record her husband's tirades and, in a daring escape, called for help while he slept.

Timestamps
09:17 Whitney’s Early Promise
16:02 Married Through Treatment
28:08 Hospital Alarm Raised
46:42 Isolation and Control
58:34 Threats Turn Violent
1:07:53 Police Close In

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Welcome to Unspeakable, a true crime podcast. Or I tell

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stories of real crimes with real victims whose cases are

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so shocking that many are left wondering how is this

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even real? I use my experiences in law enforcement corrections,

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and combined with my years as a criminal justice educator,

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dig deep into complex cases of evil acts, some so

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evil many feel they are unspeakable. Warning. Unspeakable as intended

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for mature audiences. If you are easily offended, then I'm

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not your girl. Listening discretion is advised. Hey Y'ALLKJ you're

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back with another episode of Unspeakable. How's it going. How

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is your summer? Guys? It is so frigging hot outside.

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I'm like dying at home. I walk outside to get

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the mail and I got sweat everywhere. So I hope

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you all are hanging in there. I hope that you

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just by the time you're hearing this, we just finished

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celebrating the fourth of July, and so I hope that

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you had a whole lot of fun and ate all

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the food and drank all the drinks and just had

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the time of your life. Now, before I jump into

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today's episode, I do have some shout outs and I'm

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going to start in where am I gonna start? Denam Springs, Louisiana.

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And I'm so tickled about this shout out because Foster Bratco,

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where are you, my boy? I'm waving at you right

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now on the camera. I find this the ultimate just

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nod that a former student of mine would join my patreon.

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That means so much to me. It's always special when

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people join, But for a kid that had to be

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forced to sit with you for a full year to

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think enough to join your Patreon and be a part

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of this new adventure, I love you, my boy. You

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were wonderful. He always had pins like on his shirt collar,

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like cool little pins. And he gave me a coffee

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cup that I still drink out of to this day.

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So Foster, I love you, baby. I hope that you

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are doing well and I'm proud to have you along

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on my Patreon. You're one of a kind and I

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hope that you are doing wonderful things. And then I'm

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also gonna go to Crawford, Texas. Now I'm not gonna lie.

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I can't remember if I already shouted you out or not,

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Amy Derek, did I already shout you out? If I did,

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that's okay. You're getting double the trouble, double the fun

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here because I'm gonna shout you out again and say, hey, Amy,

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how are things over there in Texas? I was gonna

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come to your neck of the woods, but I didn't.

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My niece is actually moving here and my daughter's moving

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out to go to college this week and they're from Texas,

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so you had me thinking about her whenever I was

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trying to determine if I gave you the shout out

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or not. So Amy, I hope that you were doing

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wonderful and I'm waving at you on the camera like

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I always do. Thank you so much or your support.

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And then in Midland, Texas, I have missed Aaron Nanny.

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What a freaking cute name, Aaron Nanny? Are you so

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for real? Right now? Oh precious hello Aaron? How are

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you over there in Midland? I hope that you are

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doing just wonderful as well. Thank you, Thank you from

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the bottom of my heart for joining my Patreon. You

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guys are the difference. You make the difference, and you're

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making my dreams come true. That's simple, so wonderful for

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you to join. If there's more people that I need

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to do some shout outs for hang in there. I'll

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get to you. I just don't want to spend thirty

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minutes each episode doing shout outs. So it's coming, don't

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you worry. And if I miss you by some horrible chance,

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please let me know, send me a message and I

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will definitely make sure because I don't want to miss

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anybody on these shout outs. Also one announcement, I just

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recently found the going live portion on Patreon where I

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can sit there and go live and y'all can join

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in and we can chat and we can talk. I

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did my first one this past week. We had a

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great time. I really enjoyoid speaking with everyone. Mister Jim

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was there, and all my girls that I talk to

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all the time, Gina, everybody. So thank y'all for joining

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that live. I think we had fun. I now kind of,

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you know, got some wind beneath my wings on how

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to do it. So if you join, remember there's now

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a go live option, and I'm going to try to

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do that a few times a month. And if there's

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something we need to talk about for sure, like breaking

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news or something or a case, that'll be a whole

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lot of fun. So look for that option as well.

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Now let's talk medicine, all right. I think that that

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is such a noble field for somebody to go into,

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and I genuinely mean this. I'm so thankful for all

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of the people that dedicate their lives to saving others.

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And let's let's just be real here. Not every moment

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of medicine is like, you know, a tragedy where you're

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actively giving CPR and saving someone's life, although that is,

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you know, that's real sometimes though, just even the small

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things in medicine are such a world of difference. I

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remember just the patient care tech one time coming in

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doing blood pressure when I was in the hospital, and

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she was just such a joy. So some of the

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smaller parts of medicine but so important and necessary, and

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it's just, you know, makes me reflect on the work

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that people do on all scales of medicine, and that

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the skills people master are the ones that without some

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of them, we simply some of us wouldn't even be

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alive today. Let me put it to you that way myself.

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If you've been a listener for a long time, you

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probably already know this. If not, but I survived about

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with early on colon cancer and it was surgeon doctor

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Brent Ahlane that saved my life. I was twenty seven

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years old whenever I went for a run of the

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mill colonoscopy for some gastric issues turned into a full

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fledged now we're never surgery. That was doctor Amuel Lebrono

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that found it. It was doctor Alane that did a

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colon resection on me, took out a large section of

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my sigmoid colon. But the reason I share this is

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because I am alive today to be able to do

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what I love, podcasting and talking crime and all of this.

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I'm alive today because of people like doctor Lebrono and

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doctor Alaine. If you know them, please let them know

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how much I adore them and that I gave them

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this shout out on a public forum. You know. And

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sometimes I think that it becomes run of the mill

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for them, that they don't realize the impact that they

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have made in someone's world. Last football season, I was

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at an LSU football game and I was ordering a

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beer at the counter when I noticed that it was

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actually doctor Alaine that was standing in front of me ordering.

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He had no clue that the life behind him that

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was cheering on her tigers and lived to have two

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more children after that surgery. I was there literally because

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of him. It's the truth. God, you know, obviously, God,

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but him. I'm so thankful every day that I ran

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into these doctors. I feel blessed. I'm thankful to them

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for the work that they do. And this is part

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of the episode that I'm telling you all of this,

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So don't be like, what is she doing? I just

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want to be so for real with you when I'm

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sharing this. Doctor Saba. Do you know him if you're

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from the Baton Rouge area. He's at our Lady of

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the Lake. He cured my mother of cancer this year.

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I broke the news that we were going through some

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struggles and my mom was diagnosed with cancer last year. Y'all.

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He cured her. He did. He is the goat. Without him.

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Right now as I record this, I would not have

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a mama if it weren't for him and his team.

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I am forever indebted to the medical community for all

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of these things that they have done for me and

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for my family, and so I want this episode to

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be for you and dedicate it to you and all

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that you do for your patients. Whatever it's worth. I

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hope that it touches all heart somewhere and that you

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know how much we, uh, we appreciate you. But cancer,

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to that point, cancer is a word no one ever

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wants to hear. And I can promise you my own

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life flash before my eyes when I myself was told

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and when people say their life flashes before their eyes,

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that's actually real. I didn't know that. My brain literally

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when like like like slides in a frame and then

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I was at my own funeral in my mind within seconds.

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And at that time I only had one child, matter

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of fact, the one I just told you I'm moving

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out to college when I'm done recording today. But I

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saw myself, you know, dead, and I was like, oh

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my god, if I die, she will be motherless and

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she will never have known me. She'll hear stories, of course,

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she'll hear stories, but my baby will never know me.

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And it just made me sick to think about it.

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How cruel was it to love something someone so much

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and then to believe in that moment that I would

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never get to see her grow up. I mean, I

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cannot impart the words on how horrible of a feeling

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that was. But as you know people were there and

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they saved my life. Well, in this case, let's insert

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the very people that I'm talking about that are born

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to save lives. And in this case, her name is

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Whitney Tingle. So who just was Whitney? I want to

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tell you a little bit about her. So, Whitney wanted

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to be a doctor from the time that she was

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a kid. She worked extremely hard in school, making a

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dedicated effort to do her best and to achieve this

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lifelong dream that was established very early on in her life.

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And when people not only know what they want, but

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then they choose to chase it with every ounce of

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their being, that is such an incredible thing. And honey,

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you just heard the name of someone who did just that.

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Whitney would excel in school and eventually she would graduate

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from college. She would then enter into the world of

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practicing medicine and aim to complete her residency in family medicine.

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She genuinely cared about people and the ability to provide comprehensive,

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continuous health care for patients of all ages was her goal.

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Hence family medicine right so from routine physicals to pediatrics,

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to chronic illnesses and even minor procedures. Whitney was bound

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for nothing less than success as she trained under the

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best doctors around. And Whitney was not only smart guys,

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she was naturally beautiful. She had this long brown hair

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and these hazily kind of brown eyes. I don't know

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how to describe them to you. She just was an

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unassuming little thing. She looks kind of small in stature,

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but just a beautiful, a beautiful woman. She brought a

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calmness into the room as she greeted her patients, and

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she listened intently to their symptoms and just nodding along

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with a smile that she understood what they were saying,

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and she was all ears to take it in and

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to try to address whatever their needs were. If she

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could help them, she would do everything she could to

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ease their pain, to wipe their tears, and to get

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them on their way. So when she was in her

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final year of residency training, she started to have symptoms

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of her own, and these were ones that seemed normal

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of a working woman who was on her feet all day.

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We know doctors, you know, they're running constantly, they're standing,

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they're moving patient to patient. There's not a lot of

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downtime for them. And so I'm of course referencing a

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pain that it started in the month of March, and

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it started in her buttocks on the right side. And

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I'm going to tell you a lot of women for

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sure could probably all to well know this type of pain,

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because it's that dreaded psiatic nerve pain that once you

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felt it one time. I know, I started feeling it

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when I was pregnant. It shoots down your back into

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your butt and then it'll even go down into your leg.

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It'll make you kind of limp and WinCE in pain

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because it is so aggravating and painful. Usually overuse or

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strenuous activity is what brings the issue, but it'll resolve

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itself over time, in just a few days, you know,

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something like that. So Whitney treated herself just like she

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would any of her patients. She took a more conservative approach, like,

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you know, maybe resting what she thought might be an

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overused muscle or irritated nerve, and then some over the

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counter medication stuff like that to try and relieve the pain.

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But Whitney, this pain just would not subside in her

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and it actually worsened to the point that she herself

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went to see a doctor now if there's anything I know,

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00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:50.440
because I have lots of medical people in my family,

230
00:12:51.440 --> 00:12:55.200
from low level medicine to all the way through doctors,

231
00:12:55.320 --> 00:12:58.399
and people in the medical field are the worst going

232
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to see doctors themselves. I know right now, I've got

233
00:13:00.919 --> 00:13:04.039
someone in medicine going yop, that's me. That's me, Kelly,

234
00:13:04.840 --> 00:13:08.000
you know it's you. Because they just want to treat themselves.

235
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But when they actually go, you can trust they are

236
00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:15.000
in real discomfort because they've gotten to that point. So

237
00:13:15.120 --> 00:13:18.960
by July, her primary doctor had her go in and

238
00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:21.279
get an MRI to see if there was something amiss

239
00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:23.279
because it just was getting worse and worse and worse.

240
00:13:23.600 --> 00:13:26.960
And when the results came in it was a shock

241
00:13:27.639 --> 00:13:31.759
to everyone because this would not be a simple fix.

242
00:13:32.799 --> 00:13:35.960
The MRI would show that she had a tumor and

243
00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:40.120
it was compressing on her sacral nerves. I say sacrel,

244
00:13:40.120 --> 00:13:42.279
I hope that's how you would pronounce it, and the

245
00:13:42.360 --> 00:13:47.200
surrounding bone and the muscle. The good news, however, was

246
00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:50.440
that it looked to be non cancerous and the location

247
00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:53.639
of the tumor. Although there was that good news that

248
00:13:53.679 --> 00:13:55.720
they didn't think it was cancerous, it was in a

249
00:13:55.840 --> 00:13:59.559
very precarious location, so this would require that she be

250
00:13:59.600 --> 00:14:06.279
transfer or referred to the Mayo Clinic Neurosurgery Unit in Rochester, Minnesota.

251
00:14:06.759 --> 00:14:09.919
So surgery would be required, there's no doubt. But they

252
00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:11.879
would have to do biopsies and this was going to

253
00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:15.440
be a whole thing. So in August, about two weeks

254
00:14:15.480 --> 00:14:18.399
after she went and got these biopsies done, she was

255
00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:22.519
scheduled and the surgery was underway to remove the tumor.

256
00:14:22.679 --> 00:14:24.960
She was ready to get all this behind her and

257
00:14:25.399 --> 00:14:29.360
let's move on. But while she was already under anesthesia,

258
00:14:30.039 --> 00:14:32.679
the surgery team had to shift plans in the moment

259
00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:36.440
after she was already opened, because the doctor made the

260
00:14:36.440 --> 00:14:39.240
decision the tumor was going to have to stay put.

261
00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:44.039
It had grown substantially, and not only had it grown substantially,

262
00:14:44.600 --> 00:14:49.919
this was actually ewing sarcoma. So this is a terrible

263
00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:53.639
disease to have, and if the tumor were messed with

264
00:14:54.360 --> 00:14:57.559
while she was open, there was a very high risk

265
00:14:57.759 --> 00:15:00.879
of it spreading rapidly, and so it was just too

266
00:15:00.919 --> 00:15:03.559
risky to touch it. So the doctor closed her back up.

267
00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:05.919
When she came back around, they had to tell her

268
00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:08.639
what they found and they decided to change the treatment

269
00:15:08.720 --> 00:15:15.200
plan for the time being. In that moment, you realize

270
00:15:15.200 --> 00:15:17.799
that there's a lot of uncertainty right here, and this

271
00:15:17.879 --> 00:15:21.960
is very, very bad news. But there was something that

272
00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:24.639
was such a blessing to have in that moment, and

273
00:15:24.679 --> 00:15:29.519
that was Whitney's spouse. Okay, your spouse is someone that

274
00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:31.960
you should be able to lean on and to be

275
00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:36.519
able to absorb the shock of bad things, and that

276
00:15:36.679 --> 00:15:41.679
is exactly what her husband, Josh was. So she and

277
00:15:41.759 --> 00:15:44.639
Josh were an absolute team and he was going to

278
00:15:44.679 --> 00:15:48.559
be there for her for any and everything, ensuring not

279
00:15:48.600 --> 00:15:51.120
only was she never alone, but he would be there

280
00:15:51.159 --> 00:15:54.399
to shoulder her shortcomings as she got sicker and when

281
00:15:54.440 --> 00:15:57.240
she couldn't do things for herself, he would be there

282
00:15:57.639 --> 00:16:00.559
to take care of her, to love her, and to

283
00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:04.360
cherish her as he should. But the hits kept coming off,

284
00:16:04.720 --> 00:16:09.279
tons of appointments, imaging and procedures just to find out

285
00:16:09.399 --> 00:16:12.720
that the tumor had grown and it had now fractured

286
00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:16.720
her sacrum. So this made it even more painful. And again,

287
00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:19.360
even though this is terrible, a little light in the

288
00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:23.200
tunnel would peak through when her pet scan showed that

289
00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:27.039
this looked to be only a localized cancer and that

290
00:16:27.080 --> 00:16:31.000
there had been no metastatic spread. So she goes to

291
00:16:31.080 --> 00:16:34.000
get her port inserted so she can get her chemo treatment,

292
00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:36.519
and this is in September, and then she wants to

293
00:16:36.519 --> 00:16:39.240
start the chemo. And this chemo schedule she had was

294
00:16:39.279 --> 00:16:41.600
a pretty dang brutal one. It was going to last

295
00:16:41.639 --> 00:16:45.960
many weeks. But after the first seven cycles she was

296
00:16:46.039 --> 00:16:50.399
going to have surgery and then radiation therapy as well.

297
00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:53.919
So basically she and her husband planned for all of

298
00:16:53.960 --> 00:16:56.879
these treatments that she was going to undergo, and it

299
00:16:56.960 --> 00:16:58.919
was going to be about the next seven to eight

300
00:16:59.039 --> 00:17:01.519
months that they would have to ride this roller coaster.

301
00:17:01.840 --> 00:17:04.240
To be only thirty two years old and going through

302
00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:07.359
all of this was just a whirlwind of emotion for

303
00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:13.359
this relatively young couple. Their finances were impacted dramatically, as

304
00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:15.960
you can imagine, They had to travel sometimes, she would

305
00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:18.039
have to be gone for weeks at a time to

306
00:17:18.079 --> 00:17:21.000
go to her specialist appointments and to get her radiation.

307
00:17:21.480 --> 00:17:25.480
But again, another bright spot was that while she was

308
00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:29.039
still in the middle of her residency program as a doctor,

309
00:17:29.720 --> 00:17:32.680
they were going to allow her to continue her final

310
00:17:32.759 --> 00:17:36.119
year of training when she was able to, and she

311
00:17:36.200 --> 00:17:39.359
was also looking forward to walking with her class still

312
00:17:39.400 --> 00:17:44.039
at graduation. And you need these little milestones, You need

313
00:17:44.079 --> 00:17:47.720
these small moments of joy that can kind of like

314
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:51.359
drive you to keep going. And so her future employer

315
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:55.960
where she was doing her residency program, they also agreed, look, girl,

316
00:17:56.119 --> 00:17:58.839
we're going to hold your position, and they welcomed her

317
00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:02.960
with open arms to come back and to complete her training,

318
00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:05.240
even if there was going to be these mounting delays

319
00:18:05.640 --> 00:18:08.480
while she got her health back. When hope was needed, though,

320
00:18:09.000 --> 00:18:12.119
it would show itself and all Whitney had to do,

321
00:18:12.480 --> 00:18:15.200
and her mind was make it through her treatments. And

322
00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:16.680
I want you to hear me right now, I am

323
00:18:16.680 --> 00:18:19.920
not minimizing the seriousness of this either. I'm saying it

324
00:18:20.039 --> 00:18:23.000
like Whitney faced it. All I have to do is

325
00:18:23.079 --> 00:18:26.440
survive this and then I'll be on my way. So

326
00:18:26.519 --> 00:18:30.359
as the months would pass, every day would become more

327
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:34.119
of a struggle as this cancer and even the treatment

328
00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:40.920
was ravaging Whitney's body. That vibrant, an outgoing woman everyone

329
00:18:41.039 --> 00:18:46.319
was used to seeing had changed pretty dramatically by April

330
00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:49.920
of twenty twenty four. And if I'm being brutally honest here,

331
00:18:50.519 --> 00:18:53.440
I'm going to tell you wouldn't have even recognized Whitney

332
00:18:53.880 --> 00:18:56.119
if you passed her on the street. At this point.

333
00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:00.519
She was extremely swollen, she was bald, and she was

334
00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:05.640
weak to the point of needing a walker. Whitney's declining health,

335
00:19:05.680 --> 00:19:08.079
I'm just going to tell you, was very obvious to

336
00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:12.000
anyone who would have seen her, but her mama and

337
00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:15.279
her daddy. They stood by her side, as did her sister,

338
00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:19.599
who knew how bad things had gotten, but they refused

339
00:19:20.039 --> 00:19:25.240
to give in to hopelessness. There was always hope, always love,

340
00:19:25.559 --> 00:19:28.759
and certainly faith that she could get through this, and

341
00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:32.519
they were there to help her with anything that they could. So,

342
00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:34.400
Like I said, the form of cancer Whitney had was

343
00:19:34.440 --> 00:19:37.880
ewing sarcoma. And this was a beast all right. And

344
00:19:37.920 --> 00:19:41.200
I say this because if the cancer is caught before

345
00:19:41.240 --> 00:19:44.920
it spread, the chance of long term survival is about

346
00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:49.160
seventy percent. But if not, if it's not caught in time,

347
00:19:49.799 --> 00:19:56.599
that curability rate or remission rate drops to about thirty percent. Also,

348
00:19:57.039 --> 00:19:59.559
with it being on her spine, it made it extremely

349
00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:02.200
hard to treat. And the fact that she was in

350
00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:04.759
her thirties was also not so great. And this was

351
00:20:05.319 --> 00:20:08.240
I say this because more often than not, this is

352
00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:11.400
a pediatric found cancer in the research that I did

353
00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:16.400
on this, and anyone older than fifteen that's diagnosed with it,

354
00:20:16.519 --> 00:20:21.400
their odds of beating it drops dramatically. So quality of

355
00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:25.000
life would also become a very important focus for Whitney,

356
00:20:25.880 --> 00:20:30.440
as the prognosis wasn't really looking good. But luckily for her,

357
00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:32.920
she was ready to fight. She was going to fight

358
00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:36.400
with everything she had, and Josh was there to help

359
00:20:36.440 --> 00:20:39.160
bring her through it. Now, Josh had joined the military.

360
00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:40.759
A little bit about him. He had joined the military

361
00:20:40.839 --> 00:20:43.279
right out of high school. He did his basic training

362
00:20:43.279 --> 00:20:46.079
at Fort Benning and Georgia, and he spent the year

363
00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:47.759
of two thousand and four and two thousand and five

364
00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:51.240
stationed in Iraq. But when he got back home, that's

365
00:20:51.279 --> 00:20:53.000
whenever he decided he was going to go complete his

366
00:20:53.079 --> 00:20:56.839
higher education. So he got an undergrad in sociology and

367
00:20:56.920 --> 00:21:00.400
criminal justice. Huh. I like that. I love criminal justice obviously.

368
00:21:01.079 --> 00:21:03.359
But after he did this, he would go in a

369
00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:07.359
different direction professionally and get a job as a banker,

370
00:21:07.799 --> 00:21:10.200
and he did just like He was a director of

371
00:21:10.200 --> 00:21:13.359
e commerce for a few years at that point, but

372
00:21:13.720 --> 00:21:17.119
by twenty eighteen he was still wanting more, and so

373
00:21:17.160 --> 00:21:18.599
that's when he would go and he would earn his

374
00:21:18.680 --> 00:21:23.200
Master of Business Administration degree. In the meantime, he was

375
00:21:23.240 --> 00:21:25.759
flipping houses and he was doing a pretty good job

376
00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:27.759
of it. He was making a profit, and that really

377
00:21:27.839 --> 00:21:32.279
had sparked an interest in him for home design, development

378
00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:34.519
and all that jazz. So when he was thirty two,

379
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:40.279
he started his home building business and it not only

380
00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:42.279
just like started up kind of as a dream, but

381
00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:44.960
he made it a reality and he was doing really

382
00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:47.960
well at it by this time. So they had gotten

383
00:21:47.960 --> 00:21:50.720
married in twenty twenty. And if you're I know, I'm

384
00:21:50.759 --> 00:21:53.000
kind of within a few years period here as I'm

385
00:21:53.000 --> 00:21:54.920
telling you what was going on back and forth, But

386
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:58.599
you know, twenty twenty when they got married, they should

387
00:21:58.680 --> 00:22:03.799
have been just blissful newlyweds. Basically whenever she's they're going

388
00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:06.799
through all this cancer or stuff, and they were facing

389
00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:10.519
that in sickness and in health vow pretty damn from

390
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:13.079
quickly from the jump, really from the time that they

391
00:22:13.079 --> 00:22:17.440
got married. So Josh's business success would also now turn

392
00:22:17.480 --> 00:22:20.640
out to be a blessing in these circumstances because he

393
00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:23.839
was able to take care of Whitney work from home

394
00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:27.599
a good bit while also running his business. So Whitney

395
00:22:27.599 --> 00:22:30.400
and Josh lived in a very When I say a

396
00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:33.559
very nice home, I mean they would it was I

397
00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:36.079
would say upper middle class. It was a nice house.

398
00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:40.440
She'd be able to rest comfortably in this home. It

399
00:22:40.519 --> 00:22:43.400
was beautiful and just she could relax while she was

400
00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:47.880
fighting for her life. The house was newer and even

401
00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:51.720
inside to tell you how quickly this had had hit Whitney,

402
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:54.759
she really hadn't had much time to place that female

403
00:22:54.880 --> 00:22:58.720
mark on the home. And right now men are like,

404
00:22:58.759 --> 00:23:00.960
what does that mean? You know, like a dog lifts

405
00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:03.160
its leg and peas and puts its mark. No, guys,

406
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:08.000
a woman can tell when another woman lives somewhere, can't

407
00:23:08.039 --> 00:23:09.720
You can? Y'all, y'all know what I'm talking about. Like

408
00:23:09.759 --> 00:23:12.000
they just put this this essence into a home, and

409
00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:14.519
you can tell that a woman, a woman has been

410
00:23:14.519 --> 00:23:17.759
there to decorate and add her flare to a home.

411
00:23:17.799 --> 00:23:20.240
But Whinnie was just too sick at the moment to

412
00:23:20.279 --> 00:23:23.680
even you know, in a lot of home photos and

413
00:23:23.680 --> 00:23:25.799
stuff like that, that there weren't even pictures on the walls.

414
00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:29.319
She just hadn't gotten that far. But when she was better,

415
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:30.880
she was going to take care of it. She was

416
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:34.359
going to take on the world a new lease on life.

417
00:23:34.440 --> 00:23:36.920
She just knew it was around the corner. She just

418
00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:41.359
had to survive this. The home was neat, it was orderly,

419
00:23:41.640 --> 00:23:44.880
and something I thought pretty pretty good about the situation

420
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:47.839
is that it was very limited in clutter, and it

421
00:23:47.839 --> 00:23:51.839
would be a good thing because getting around the house

422
00:23:51.960 --> 00:23:54.799
is very difficult for someone as weak as she is,

423
00:23:54.920 --> 00:23:58.400
and she had lots of medical equipment. That would entail

424
00:23:58.640 --> 00:24:01.240
that she would be moved primary into the living room

425
00:24:01.240 --> 00:24:03.400
where she would sleep and eat and do a lot

426
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:06.480
of her activities for ease of access in the house,

427
00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:09.039
but also for all of her equipment, as well as

428
00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:12.079
the fact that she could be around Josh while he

429
00:24:12.200 --> 00:24:14.240
was working from home and moving about in the house,

430
00:24:14.799 --> 00:24:17.960
so she was nestled down. They had this nice navy couch,

431
00:24:18.359 --> 00:24:22.200
soft blankets that she could cuddle into, a cold drink nearby,

432
00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:26.400
and that just made getting through the pain that much easier.

433
00:24:27.160 --> 00:24:30.759
The TV could softly play and she could just doze

434
00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:32.799
in and out of sleep and wouldn't have to get

435
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:35.519
up and move about a lot, and Whitney could also

436
00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:38.240
keep in touch with her friends by phone, which she

437
00:24:38.279 --> 00:24:41.440
did a lot. She would text her sister. She was

438
00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:45.599
very much in her sister's life and her sister acted

439
00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:48.839
as her confidant, as well as a number of supporters

440
00:24:48.960 --> 00:24:52.319
her parents aside. So a support group is so important

441
00:24:52.319 --> 00:24:54.440
when you're going through something like this. We all know it.

442
00:24:54.519 --> 00:24:56.480
If you've been through this, you know what I mean.

443
00:24:57.440 --> 00:25:01.039
Whitney bragged on her Josh how well he was taking

444
00:25:01.079 --> 00:25:03.160
care of her. Matter of fact, in a text that

445
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:06.119
she had sent one of her friends, she shared how

446
00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:10.160
humiliating it had been recently to have an accident while

447
00:25:10.279 --> 00:25:12.359
she was trying to head to the restroom. She needed

448
00:25:12.359 --> 00:25:15.359
help getting to the toilet. Things were so bad, and

449
00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:18.480
Josh was on a work call he didn't hear. He

450
00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:20.920
wasn't able to get to her in time, and she

451
00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:24.400
had horrible diarrhea as a side effect of her meds,

452
00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:26.400
and so as she had tried to get to the

453
00:25:26.440 --> 00:25:29.640
toilet on her own, she just couldn't hold it and

454
00:25:29.960 --> 00:25:32.240
it came out, It went down her legs, it had

455
00:25:32.240 --> 00:25:35.960
gotten all over the floor, just humiliating for her. And

456
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:38.960
on top of that, she slipped and she ended up,

457
00:25:39.039 --> 00:25:42.079
hitting her face. It hit her walker on the way

458
00:25:42.119 --> 00:25:44.720
down because she had gotten so weak, and it left

459
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:48.599
a bruise. But Josh ran over to her. He got

460
00:25:48.599 --> 00:25:51.200
her up, he helped her on the toilet, but the

461
00:25:51.240 --> 00:25:53.880
mess was already made, and you just don't want that

462
00:25:53.960 --> 00:25:56.160
to be something your spouse has to deal with. But

463
00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:59.039
Josh did what he did, and he cleaned it up.

464
00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:02.039
He got her leaned up, he got her on the toilet,

465
00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:05.279
and she just was gushing about how great he was.

466
00:26:05.319 --> 00:26:08.519
He stayed by her side constantly, and even when he

467
00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:10.720
had to leave for work a little bit. She said,

468
00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:12.400
you know, it just kills him to be away from

469
00:26:12.440 --> 00:26:15.279
me because he knows that I need him. He was

470
00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:18.960
terrified of her being alone after everything that she was

471
00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:22.559
dealing with. And her friend texted her back and said,

472
00:26:22.599 --> 00:26:24.440
you know, maybe y'all should try to get some like

473
00:26:24.519 --> 00:26:26.839
outside help. Maybe you could get someone to come and

474
00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:28.640
stay with you so that he can come and go.

475
00:26:28.920 --> 00:26:30.960
But Josh wouldn't hear of it. He was going to

476
00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:33.039
take care of his wife and he was going to

477
00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:36.839
ensure that she was getting the best care possible, and

478
00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:40.039
he loved her, so he wanted he wanted to be

479
00:26:40.079 --> 00:26:43.440
the one to do that. So for some people that

480
00:26:43.519 --> 00:26:45.960
may kind of sound uptight, What do you mean he

481
00:26:46.039 --> 00:26:49.279
won't He wants to do all of it. But there

482
00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:52.359
was this article that was written about Josh at the

483
00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:57.359
exact same time by a local media company and it

484
00:26:57.440 --> 00:26:59.440
was about his business. They printed this in a local

485
00:26:59.480 --> 00:27:03.519
paper and it gave some insight to what Josh was about.

486
00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:07.279
He explained that in this article I wrote about him

487
00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:10.119
that he believed in doing the best you possibly can

488
00:27:10.680 --> 00:27:14.599
and finding quality in life was something he strove for

489
00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:17.000
because or he strived. Would you say strove or strived,

490
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:19.200
It was something he strove for. I'm gonna say strove

491
00:27:20.440 --> 00:27:23.640
because this was something that his father had really instilled

492
00:27:23.640 --> 00:27:25.359
in him and taught him as a boy. His dad

493
00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:28.960
was an artist who painted and sculpted, and so like

494
00:27:29.119 --> 00:27:32.240
technique and methods, those are things that were really hammered

495
00:27:32.279 --> 00:27:35.319
into Josh as a kid as things that were important.

496
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:38.240
The attention to detail. If something was to be done,

497
00:27:38.279 --> 00:27:39.960
you have to do it the right way or you

498
00:27:40.079 --> 00:27:43.839
don't do it at all. So Josh was also proud

499
00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:49.200
of his military experience integrity. That was also something that

500
00:27:49.279 --> 00:27:51.920
he talked about being hammered into him and all soldiers

501
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:56.079
from the start. Whenever he joined, he was quoted as saying,

502
00:27:56.240 --> 00:28:01.559
everything everything is about integrity, especially in the army, or

503
00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:03.720
you just have to get the hell out, you must

504
00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:06.640
maintain your integrity. So that's just a little insight to

505
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:09.759
kind of the mindset of Josh. So in April of

506
00:28:10.160 --> 00:28:13.960
twenty twenty four, Whitney would find herself back in the hospital,

507
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:18.359
as many cancer patients unfortunately experience. The in and out

508
00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:22.599
of hospital care isn't unexpected. It comes with the territory.

509
00:28:23.119 --> 00:28:28.039
And Whitney had awakened to a very scary sense of

510
00:28:28.079 --> 00:28:31.680
being too sick in the middle of the night, and

511
00:28:31.839 --> 00:28:35.119
she was so weak, so sick, she could not get Josh.

512
00:28:35.240 --> 00:28:37.440
She couldn't get alert him and get him to wake

513
00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:40.680
up because he slept in their bedroom. Still he was asleep,

514
00:28:40.799 --> 00:28:43.680
and Whitney woke up with just as scared she was

515
00:28:43.720 --> 00:28:46.400
going to die, really, she was that sick. So while

516
00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:49.279
she couldn't get Josh, she had her cell phone and

517
00:28:49.319 --> 00:28:51.039
so she was able to dial nine one one and

518
00:28:51.119 --> 00:28:55.039
get some help. So minutes later paramedics arrived. She was

519
00:28:55.039 --> 00:28:57.400
able to get to her feet, get to the door

520
00:28:57.519 --> 00:29:01.720
with her walker, but just barely, and When Josh eventually

521
00:29:01.759 --> 00:29:04.920
did wake up, he was horrified to learn that Whitney

522
00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:08.480
was needing his help so desperately and she was unable

523
00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:10.680
to wake him up. He was I mean, it just

524
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:14.720
it tore him up. He apologized profusely. He did everything

525
00:29:14.759 --> 00:29:16.759
short of breaking down and crying when you realize what

526
00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:20.000
was going on in his home, and you know, they

527
00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:22.960
had rushed her up to the hospital, and he's texting her,

528
00:29:23.119 --> 00:29:25.519
I'm so sorry I didn't hear them. I'll never let

529
00:29:25.559 --> 00:29:27.680
you down again. The cancer, I wish you know. It

530
00:29:27.720 --> 00:29:30.480
was mean, not you. This is just just not right.

531
00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:34.079
But Whitney was not out for blood y'all. She was gracious,

532
00:29:34.119 --> 00:29:39.319
she was loving, she was understanding shit happens. Okay, you're tired,

533
00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:41.680
I get it. You've been caring for me for months.

534
00:29:42.119 --> 00:29:46.160
I know this. Don't beat yourself up. She was already

535
00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:50.680
actually at the hospital whenever he woke up, and you know,

536
00:29:50.759 --> 00:29:53.279
they were communicating because the ambulance had taken her and

537
00:29:53.319 --> 00:29:56.000
he was freaking out. But he was okay, y'all, she

538
00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:58.519
made it to the hospital. He could get dressed, he

539
00:29:58.519 --> 00:30:00.400
could come up there, do what he had to do.

540
00:30:00.519 --> 00:30:03.480
It was going to be fine. So in comes the doctor,

541
00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:08.319
and the doctor is checking her out when he immediately

542
00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:12.559
took issue with some bruises that he saw on Whitney's body.

543
00:30:12.599 --> 00:30:15.680
She had them on her legs, she had them, you know,

544
00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:18.200
all over on different parts of her body. And the

545
00:30:18.279 --> 00:30:21.880
doctor was alarmed by this, and he was so alarmed

546
00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:26.440
that he even documented this in his notes. So, after

547
00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:30.319
Josh had come up to the hospital and then gone

548
00:30:31.039 --> 00:30:33.960
from that whole situation, he had left to go back

549
00:30:33.960 --> 00:30:37.400
to the house. For whatever reason, law enforcement was called

550
00:30:37.480 --> 00:30:40.559
by the hospital and they were asked to come up there.

551
00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:43.880
So a nurse on the staff spoke to the officer

552
00:30:44.359 --> 00:30:47.160
and when asked why was Whitney at the hospital to

553
00:30:47.200 --> 00:30:48.799
begin with, like, why are y'all calling us? Why is

554
00:30:48.839 --> 00:30:51.920
she here? The nurse's answer was kind of odd, and

555
00:30:51.960 --> 00:30:53.680
this is a direct quote. She said, it depends on

556
00:30:53.680 --> 00:30:57.160
how you spin it. And so the cops like, what

557
00:30:57.200 --> 00:31:01.359
does that mean. Well, the hospital basically leave that Whitney

558
00:31:01.880 --> 00:31:07.200
was being mistreated and they wanted to truspass Josh from

559
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:11.720
coming back on the premises. So the officer is taking

560
00:31:11.759 --> 00:31:15.480
down the information, trying to understand what's going on and

561
00:31:15.559 --> 00:31:18.279
kind of get the foundation here, and then she calls

562
00:31:18.400 --> 00:31:20.920
Josh the cop does to let him know, hey, you're

563
00:31:20.960 --> 00:31:23.599
no longer welcome to come back to the hospital or

564
00:31:23.599 --> 00:31:26.960
to the facility. So, as you can imagine, he didn't

565
00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:28.960
take this very well. Are you freaking kidding me?

566
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:29.319
What?

567
00:31:30.200 --> 00:31:34.079
You cannot legit be serious right now? But the cop was,

568
00:31:34.160 --> 00:31:38.400
She's like, no, you're not allowed to come back up here.

569
00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:42.119
It's not my decision, it's what the hospital wants. And

570
00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:46.000
that's when Josh had this like aha moment, and he's like,

571
00:31:46.039 --> 00:31:49.480
wait a second, wait a second. This has got to

572
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:53.839
be in retaliation for what happened the day prior, and

573
00:31:53.880 --> 00:31:55.519
so the officer says, Okay, what do you mean, what

574
00:31:55.559 --> 00:31:58.119
are you talking about? And Josh explained to the officer

575
00:31:58.720 --> 00:32:03.119
that when Whitney was brought to the hospital, initially by ambulance,

576
00:32:03.400 --> 00:32:06.960
he and the hospital had had a disagreement. Okay they

577
00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:08.839
basically him and the staff that were taking care of

578
00:32:08.839 --> 00:32:11.640
Whitney had a disagreement because when he was in the

579
00:32:11.720 --> 00:32:15.279
room later on, he had Whitney's stand up and he

580
00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:17.519
wanted her to kind of move about the room a

581
00:32:17.599 --> 00:32:21.440
little bit because she had what he called fluid overload.

582
00:32:21.920 --> 00:32:25.000
And he said, you know, proper protocol to mitigate this,

583
00:32:25.119 --> 00:32:27.759
amongst other things, and there were other things, but is

584
00:32:27.799 --> 00:32:30.799
that you need to like get up and move, okay,

585
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:33.599
And he said that was not being done though she

586
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:36.680
was being left in the hospital. So fluid overload's basically

587
00:32:36.759 --> 00:32:39.559
just a backup a fluid in your body and part

588
00:32:39.559 --> 00:32:42.960
of that process to kind of fix this. And again,

589
00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:44.200
like I said, I know, if you're a medical person

590
00:32:44.279 --> 00:32:45.839
right now, you're going to jump in screen. But I

591
00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:47.359
know there's other things to do. But one of the

592
00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:50.279
things is if you can walk and move, it'll get

593
00:32:50.279 --> 00:32:53.559
your muscles moving, it'll get your heart pumping, and it

594
00:32:53.599 --> 00:32:57.319
can work to try to naturally relieve some of that fluid.

595
00:32:57.799 --> 00:32:59.319
And Josh, by the way, I want you to know

596
00:32:59.359 --> 00:33:02.559
this had medical experience because when he was in the army,

597
00:33:02.839 --> 00:33:05.839
he served as a combat life saver while he was

598
00:33:05.880 --> 00:33:08.880
in Iraq. So his thought was that she should stand

599
00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:11.880
for a few minutes and maybe take some steps around

600
00:33:11.920 --> 00:33:15.200
the bed or whatever to try to get that fluid

601
00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:19.640
moving because she was so extremely swollen. And while he's

602
00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:24.480
explaining this, y'all, he is calm, he's collected, he's very professional.

603
00:33:25.119 --> 00:33:27.640
He's not yelling, he's not acting like a lunatic or anything.

604
00:33:27.680 --> 00:33:31.519
And he's adamant. You know, this is my wife. This

605
00:33:31.680 --> 00:33:34.440
is just a patient to them. This is my wife,

606
00:33:34.799 --> 00:33:37.680
and I'm just protective of her. The last two years

607
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:42.079
it's been hard. She's a hot mess medically. I want

608
00:33:42.119 --> 00:33:45.799
her to get better. This is devastating. This is devastating

609
00:33:45.799 --> 00:33:47.440
to our family. And now I can't come up there

610
00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:51.440
and be with her whenever. Who's she needs her family?

611
00:33:52.200 --> 00:33:55.119
This is not right. So what about all the bruises

612
00:33:55.160 --> 00:33:56.759
on her? Then? Can you can you give a little

613
00:33:56.799 --> 00:33:59.160
bit of information on what that could be? And he

614
00:33:59.319 --> 00:34:03.720
is just just irritated. He doesn't scream or anything, but

615
00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:05.519
you can tell he's like put off by that question.

616
00:34:05.599 --> 00:34:09.320
And he's very matter of fact. Her platelets are thirty thousand.

617
00:34:09.960 --> 00:34:12.639
They should be one hundred and fifty to two hundred thousand,

618
00:34:12.719 --> 00:34:15.760
do you know, you know it's common sense. Anytime you

619
00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:18.519
grab her to like lift her, or if she you know,

620
00:34:18.639 --> 00:34:20.840
she fell a few times at the house, I have

621
00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:23.639
to pick her up, I have to move her. She's

622
00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:27.519
gonna bruise easily just because of that. And I'm going

623
00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:30.079
to tell you what Josh was saying. It does make

624
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:35.360
absolute sense. Okay, but the hospital again can refuse entry,

625
00:34:35.800 --> 00:34:38.480
and really there's nothing he can do about it. So

626
00:34:38.519 --> 00:34:42.760
he becomes completely defeated and he's like, this is this

627
00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:46.760
is crazy and in a final question he confirmed He's like,

628
00:34:46.880 --> 00:34:48.880
so I can't even bring her her treats that she likes.

629
00:34:48.920 --> 00:34:50.760
I can't bring her her oatmeal. I can't do any

630
00:34:50.800 --> 00:34:53.800
of that. And the cops like, sorry, buddy, no, you

631
00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:57.039
can't come up here. So to be the spouse of

632
00:34:57.079 --> 00:35:00.639
someone and then the hospital tell you you can't come

633
00:35:00.760 --> 00:35:04.119
up there, and then to have the police with the

634
00:35:05.239 --> 00:35:09.840
authority to then enforce that was so frustrating, and Josh

635
00:35:10.440 --> 00:35:15.519
was just beyond upset that this is obviously retaliation because

636
00:35:15.519 --> 00:35:17.760
he was trying to care for his wife. It was absurd.

637
00:35:18.039 --> 00:35:20.440
But okay, if I can't come up there, I can't.

638
00:35:20.760 --> 00:35:23.760
But this is just so wrong. It's wrong on all levels.

639
00:35:24.159 --> 00:35:26.920
And she's like sorry, and they hang up the phone.

640
00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:31.119
So police document everything that Josh says, obviously, but then

641
00:35:31.159 --> 00:35:32.760
they go and they want to talk to Whitney in

642
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:37.400
her room before they finish out their report. So she

643
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:39.760
enters the room the officer and the reason I'm going

644
00:35:39.840 --> 00:35:42.760
between she and they is because sometimes it's one female officer,

645
00:35:42.960 --> 00:35:45.239
and then sometimes it's the female officer accompanied by a

646
00:35:45.280 --> 00:35:47.599
male officer. So that's kind of why I'm interchanging here.

647
00:35:48.119 --> 00:35:52.519
But when she walks into the room the officer, there

648
00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:56.039
were multiple people in there. Whitney's mom and dad were there.

649
00:35:56.119 --> 00:36:00.320
They're all gowned up because you know, when you're immune

650
00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:02.800
system is low, you don't want to have people spreading

651
00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:04.440
back to you or anything. So they're all gowned up

652
00:36:04.760 --> 00:36:07.599
and they're seated in chairs. They're facing Whitney, who was

653
00:36:07.639 --> 00:36:10.079
seated on the side of the hospital bed and her

654
00:36:10.119 --> 00:36:12.280
little legs, you know, dangling off the side of it.

655
00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:16.559
And the sight of her was much different than her

656
00:36:16.679 --> 00:36:20.440
license photo that the officer would have seen to id her,

657
00:36:20.840 --> 00:36:23.360
and pitiful would really be the word that came to

658
00:36:23.400 --> 00:36:27.440
mind here, the lean and elegant woman that was on

659
00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:31.519
the you know, the ID in real life. Looking at her,

660
00:36:32.360 --> 00:36:35.119
Oh my gosh, y'all. Just she's bald. She has just

661
00:36:35.199 --> 00:36:37.920
a few sprigs of tiny, tiny hair in like a

662
00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:40.880
little line on the top of her head, evidence of

663
00:36:40.920 --> 00:36:44.639
this chemo pulsing through her veins, ravaging her body while

664
00:36:44.679 --> 00:36:47.800
at the same time trying to kill the cancer. Her

665
00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:53.440
face was so round I mean so incredibly, so very

666
00:36:53.440 --> 00:36:58.039
incredibly swollen, just as Josh had said it was. And

667
00:36:58.519 --> 00:37:01.639
she smiled as the officer came in and she spoke

668
00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:05.079
to the officer. Her voice was soft yet direct, and

669
00:37:07.639 --> 00:37:10.239
what was about to come out of her mouth, Whitney's

670
00:37:10.280 --> 00:37:13.679
mouth was kind of beyond what anyone would have expected

671
00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:17.679
her to say. So while Whitney was gushing to the

672
00:37:17.719 --> 00:37:20.400
world and her friends about her care that she was

673
00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:26.760
receiving behind closed doors, she had tales far beyond what

674
00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:32.559
anyone would have imagined. She started by saying that she

675
00:37:32.719 --> 00:37:37.760
never called to wake up Josh whenever she first called

676
00:37:37.760 --> 00:37:40.480
the ambulance, and she told the cop that was actually

677
00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:44.360
on purpose. I never tried to wake up Josh. She

678
00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:48.880
told the police that while he's got this clean cut image,

679
00:37:48.920 --> 00:37:52.480
she's got this military service record and all the great

680
00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:56.519
that the world saw that he was less than loving

681
00:37:57.119 --> 00:38:01.760
when nobody was watching. And she really did feel bad

682
00:38:02.039 --> 00:38:05.480
that night that she called the ambulance, but the ambulance

683
00:38:05.559 --> 00:38:09.559
was actually more of an escape than anything. She said

684
00:38:09.559 --> 00:38:12.760
he had been ugly to her multiple times, and she

685
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:15.239
gave an example to the officer, saying she had gotten

686
00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:17.239
She uses the word lippy I would say mouthy, but

687
00:38:17.280 --> 00:38:20.960
she had gotten lippy with Josh, and she said he

688
00:38:21.119 --> 00:38:24.440
actually punched me in the stomach and her hand. She

689
00:38:24.519 --> 00:38:26.440
kind of acted it out while she was saying it,

690
00:38:26.480 --> 00:38:28.960
and her fist went right between the upper part of

691
00:38:29.000 --> 00:38:31.000
the ribs where they come together at a point right

692
00:38:31.079 --> 00:38:37.159
underneath her breasts. And I won't lie her pitiful appearance,

693
00:38:37.239 --> 00:38:41.559
as she says, this makes her almost childlike, and it

694
00:38:41.639 --> 00:38:46.320
makes protection mode just automatically engage in me. In this

695
00:38:46.360 --> 00:38:48.639
body cam footage that I was watching, when she showed

696
00:38:49.079 --> 00:38:52.920
what Josh had supposedly done, and the thought of hitting

697
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:57.000
somebody so frail, it's hard to believe, genuinely, it is

698
00:38:57.679 --> 00:38:59.840
so hard to believe that that could actually have occurred.

699
00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:03.360
But she expanded more, saying that he had hit her

700
00:39:03.400 --> 00:39:07.559
so hard she actually fell backwards onto her butt and

701
00:39:07.599 --> 00:39:11.559
it shocked her initially, and she just kind of stared

702
00:39:11.559 --> 00:39:14.159
at him in disbelief. And he said, oh my god,

703
00:39:14.639 --> 00:39:17.159
you slipped and you fell backwards. He said, I didn't

704
00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:20.760
hit you that hard, and she's still in shock while

705
00:39:20.840 --> 00:39:23.719
she was sitting there on the floor, and she said

706
00:39:23.760 --> 00:39:26.440
he then bent down and he clarified to her that

707
00:39:26.440 --> 00:39:29.760
if he had actually hit her, she would have broken something.

708
00:39:30.519 --> 00:39:34.599
She's weak, and she slipped, like, don't make this more

709
00:39:34.639 --> 00:39:39.119
than it was, so taking notes. The officer, I would assume,

710
00:39:39.199 --> 00:39:43.480
was pretty disgusted, but she remained cordial and professional while

711
00:39:43.519 --> 00:39:46.719
she was listening to everything that Whitney was saying. And

712
00:39:46.760 --> 00:39:50.559
then Whitney somewhat sheepishly laid out for the officer that

713
00:39:50.639 --> 00:39:53.480
this had been going on for a while. Of course

714
00:39:54.599 --> 00:40:00.719
you wonder why someone would accept that. People would wonder, well,

715
00:40:00.719 --> 00:40:04.159
why would you even accept someone would do that to you?

716
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:06.880
If this is in fact true. But please do not

717
00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:11.880
make the mistake of ever thinking that abuse is as

718
00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:15.039
simple as I was pushed down. So now I leave,

719
00:40:16.159 --> 00:40:19.679
and I'm gonna make a point here. And the reason

720
00:40:19.719 --> 00:40:23.400
I chose this story is because it's it brings up

721
00:40:23.440 --> 00:40:26.400
thoughts of abuse, and I need you to understand it

722
00:40:26.440 --> 00:40:31.320
is never that easy. Ever, someone who has been through

723
00:40:31.360 --> 00:40:34.960
it will tell you, especially if you are married to

724
00:40:35.119 --> 00:40:39.679
an abuser, that you are now in a very tangled

725
00:40:39.719 --> 00:40:45.679
web of balancing safety with how to explain it, how

726
00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:49.119
to understand what's going on. Initially, maybe he didn't mean

727
00:40:49.159 --> 00:40:52.199
to do that. You know, I am weaker than normal,

728
00:40:52.320 --> 00:40:55.360
so I'm not stable on my feet. What would my

729
00:40:55.480 --> 00:40:58.480
parents think? I can't tell my dad He'll kill him.

730
00:40:59.039 --> 00:41:01.360
You know, this is my husband and I love him.

731
00:41:01.800 --> 00:41:06.800
So many thoughts and processing of emotions take place. And

732
00:41:06.840 --> 00:41:10.400
then on top of this, the guilt of feeling as

733
00:41:10.400 --> 00:41:13.599
though maybe her illness had taken its toll on Josh

734
00:41:13.639 --> 00:41:15.760
and that he had just lashed out. This is a

735
00:41:15.760 --> 00:41:19.199
one time thing. Okay. All of these thoughts are swirling,

736
00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:23.239
and I know right now, I know right now that

737
00:41:23.320 --> 00:41:26.920
I have someone listening to me podcast going yep, yep.

738
00:41:27.239 --> 00:41:30.480
It is not that simple. It seems so common sense.

739
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:34.559
If someone hits you leave, It is not that simple.

740
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:38.400
And I may be in my younger, younger years once

741
00:41:38.800 --> 00:41:41.480
would have thought that way, but through you know, law

742
00:41:41.559 --> 00:41:44.679
enforcement experience and all of that, shame on me forever

743
00:41:44.760 --> 00:41:48.800
thinking it that way, because it's not that simple. Okay.

744
00:41:49.480 --> 00:41:52.320
But here's the issue. Okay, the cop was taking with

745
00:41:52.440 --> 00:41:56.440
what Whitney was saying, because if someone punches you to

746
00:41:56.480 --> 00:41:59.280
the point that they knock you down, that's got to

747
00:41:59.360 --> 00:42:03.039
be that's never a one time thing. That's kind of

748
00:42:03.039 --> 00:42:05.280
an odd thing to be a one time thing. We

749
00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:09.000
all differ in what our idea of a man is

750
00:42:09.039 --> 00:42:13.000
But one thing I know, okay through example from all

751
00:42:13.039 --> 00:42:15.159
of the men in my lives growing up, is that

752
00:42:15.199 --> 00:42:18.320
love is patient, it's kind, and it's sure as hell

753
00:42:18.440 --> 00:42:23.599
doesn't ever hurt. So if you've never experienced abuse before,

754
00:42:24.400 --> 00:42:29.880
when it initially happens, most women don't initially recognize what

755
00:42:30.039 --> 00:42:33.800
it is. They think through it. There's a shock factor there.

756
00:42:34.159 --> 00:42:37.559
They're simply trying to mitigate what occurred. If you have

757
00:42:37.679 --> 00:42:40.719
never experienced someone doing that to you before, there's a

758
00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:45.760
learning curve. It's not that obvious. It sounds crazy, but

759
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:50.000
it's not. And so sometimes victims will even do things

760
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:53.000
like blame themselves. And in this case, Josh had been

761
00:42:53.039 --> 00:42:57.159
caring for her a long time, and caregiving for someone

762
00:42:57.199 --> 00:43:02.119
who is suffering with cancer is an underestimate and off

763
00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:06.719
an overlooked side effect that comes with cancer. That's a reality.

764
00:43:07.239 --> 00:43:10.480
Cancer does not affect just one person. It affects everyone

765
00:43:10.760 --> 00:43:15.119
who loves them. Watching a once strong person deteriorate isn't

766
00:43:15.159 --> 00:43:20.159
just emotionally taxing, but the physical demands are also unrealized

767
00:43:20.199 --> 00:43:22.199
a lot at the time until you have lived it

768
00:43:22.599 --> 00:43:25.079
and you're like, Kelly, why are you seeming so invested

769
00:43:25.079 --> 00:43:28.599
in this I'm drawing from my own mother's recent battle.

770
00:43:29.159 --> 00:43:31.320
Two weak to get up to go to the bathroom,

771
00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:36.239
but surrounded by us, you know, non medically trained family

772
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:40.639
trying to lift and turn and maneuver. And then it

773
00:43:40.679 --> 00:43:42.760
gets very sad. You know, people get to the point

774
00:43:42.760 --> 00:43:46.039
of having to take care of helping with restroom needs

775
00:43:46.079 --> 00:43:49.719
and wiping loved ones and bathroom accidents and changing diapers

776
00:43:49.719 --> 00:43:53.000
and wound care and vomiting and this person is so

777
00:43:53.199 --> 00:43:57.159
sick there and complete discomfort all of the time, but

778
00:43:57.199 --> 00:44:01.239
you do it because you love them. It's frustrating, but

779
00:44:01.320 --> 00:44:03.960
you love them and you do it. And God bless

780
00:44:04.119 --> 00:44:07.400
anybody who has ever been a caregiver of someone who

781
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:10.880
has lovingly and faithfully cared for their loved one through this.

782
00:44:11.079 --> 00:44:16.360
If you know, you know, you're so important to the

783
00:44:16.400 --> 00:44:21.239
process of healing. And much like that officer knew, just

784
00:44:21.440 --> 00:44:26.320
listening to what Whitney was saying could give her strength,

785
00:44:26.400 --> 00:44:28.519
And what I mean is the strength to maybe divulge

786
00:44:28.519 --> 00:44:31.760
more than she had ever said before if this was abuse.

787
00:44:32.639 --> 00:44:36.480
And I can't help but see that both of her

788
00:44:36.519 --> 00:44:39.119
parents are in that room, they're gowned up, and they're

789
00:44:39.159 --> 00:44:44.719
supporting her alongside this officer who was listening, and all

790
00:44:44.800 --> 00:44:47.719
of that in that moment is what was going to

791
00:44:47.840 --> 00:44:51.639
give her, hopefully the strength to say if there was more,

792
00:44:52.519 --> 00:44:55.920
it's not that simple. And that's when Whitney kind of

793
00:44:55.920 --> 00:44:58.599
looks around the room and says, all right, this has

794
00:44:58.639 --> 00:45:03.840
been going on for about a a year. What what

795
00:45:03.880 --> 00:45:08.159
do you mean a year? And she says yeah, as

796
00:45:08.280 --> 00:45:13.199
she was getting sicker, Josh was getting more abusive, and

797
00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:16.760
she gives more examples. She says they were arguing in

798
00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:19.360
the car another time when he hit her in the head.

799
00:45:20.239 --> 00:45:23.079
He hit her so hard that it broke her sunglasses

800
00:45:23.079 --> 00:45:26.199
and knocked him off of her face. And then in

801
00:45:26.239 --> 00:45:29.639
the moment when she's like, what the hell he said that,

802
00:45:29.920 --> 00:45:32.079
I was just trying to grab the glass. As Whitney,

803
00:45:32.440 --> 00:45:34.599
you jerked your head. That was an accident. I didn't

804
00:45:34.639 --> 00:45:37.400
mean to hit you like that. But do you see

805
00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:44.079
a trend here minimizing what has happened each time something happens.

806
00:45:44.679 --> 00:45:47.400
And I need you to know again, I chose this

807
00:45:47.519 --> 00:45:50.599
episode because I wanted to expand on something else. It's

808
00:45:50.599 --> 00:45:54.800
a thing called the power and control relationship, and sometimes

809
00:45:54.840 --> 00:45:57.920
it's called the power and control wheel. People who are

810
00:45:57.920 --> 00:46:03.280
being abused. Threats and violence are a part of that,

811
00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:06.800
and it will make a woman think twice in what

812
00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:11.440
she's doing and how she responds to him. What is

813
00:46:11.480 --> 00:46:14.519
at risk should she call him out on his bullshit

814
00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:20.519
in the moment? This is real, This is how abuse works.

815
00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:24.760
So as the chemo was ravaging her body and her

816
00:46:24.800 --> 00:46:29.679
immune system was being just destroyed, her family for the

817
00:46:29.800 --> 00:46:33.440
last year has been none the wiser as to what

818
00:46:33.519 --> 00:46:37.000
she has been experiencing at home. They would have never

819
00:46:37.079 --> 00:46:39.480
have allowed this. They would have never and you know

820
00:46:39.519 --> 00:46:42.760
they're just sitting there stunned when they hear this. And

821
00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:47.400
eventually during the past year, the chemo had to be stopped,

822
00:46:47.599 --> 00:46:51.440
and it was stopped temporarily because she had developed sepsis. Now,

823
00:46:51.440 --> 00:46:55.639
the sepsis happened because she had necrotizing cellulitis in her backside.

824
00:46:56.559 --> 00:46:59.480
So not only did she feel horrible, but now she

825
00:46:59.559 --> 00:47:04.599
has this severe bacterial skin infection that was rapidly destroying

826
00:47:04.599 --> 00:47:08.360
not only her skin, but the fat and the tissue underneath.

827
00:47:08.559 --> 00:47:11.840
It's not only painful, but it was quickly escalating and

828
00:47:11.920 --> 00:47:14.880
this turns into a medical emergency that can come with

829
00:47:14.920 --> 00:47:18.239
like high fever, blistering skin. It's just a whole hot

830
00:47:18.280 --> 00:47:21.159
mess that gets worse and worse. So this wound on

831
00:47:21.199 --> 00:47:23.800
her back was so bad and deep it was having

832
00:47:23.840 --> 00:47:27.599
to be packed medically. So she was starting to feel really,

833
00:47:27.639 --> 00:47:31.519
really weak and very very sick, and she was attributing

834
00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:33.480
that to the wound while she was at the house.

835
00:47:34.280 --> 00:47:38.559
And I guess he took it personal whenever she started

836
00:47:38.559 --> 00:47:40.440
feeling very sick and she thought maybe it had to

837
00:47:40.480 --> 00:47:44.719
do with her wound, because he got really upset and

838
00:47:44.760 --> 00:47:47.800
took it personal when she started getting woozy in this

839
00:47:47.920 --> 00:47:50.079
instance and was like, oh my god, I don't feel good, Josh,

840
00:47:50.119 --> 00:47:53.960
I don't feel good. So Josh's medical assessment and the

841
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:57.199
moment that she is fighting everything that I have just

842
00:47:57.280 --> 00:48:01.239
explained to you was to slap her across the head

843
00:48:01.519 --> 00:48:04.199
and tell her you better straighten up or you're gonna

844
00:48:04.199 --> 00:48:07.559
get septic again. And so he got her to the

845
00:48:07.599 --> 00:48:11.360
shower because she's needing to get a wound change there

846
00:48:12.039 --> 00:48:16.400
when she said something that apparently he didn't like, and

847
00:48:16.480 --> 00:48:19.159
she said, and y'all, this is a cancer patient that

848
00:48:19.320 --> 00:48:24.760
is so sick. His answer to her saying something that

849
00:48:24.800 --> 00:48:28.840
he didn't like was that he punched this woman in

850
00:48:28.920 --> 00:48:33.239
the head. So hard that her head then ricocheted and

851
00:48:33.320 --> 00:48:38.440
slammed into the tile on the shower. But she was

852
00:48:38.480 --> 00:48:42.639
so weak and so sick in the moment that she

853
00:48:42.840 --> 00:48:45.639
just didn't want to burden anybody else in her family

854
00:48:46.280 --> 00:48:48.239
and tell them, not only you know, are we dealing

855
00:48:48.239 --> 00:48:50.079
with how sick I am? But he hit me in

856
00:48:50.079 --> 00:48:52.679
the head in the shower, so she decided to just

857
00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:57.039
let it go. But Josh had started doing things in

858
00:48:57.079 --> 00:49:00.480
this past year also to isolate her. She said that

859
00:49:00.519 --> 00:49:03.599
he wouldn't let her interact with people or call people.

860
00:49:04.599 --> 00:49:06.760
And there's an issue here that you need to know,

861
00:49:06.920 --> 00:49:10.639
ladies and gentlemen, and that's if you have a sister.

862
00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:13.719
If you were a woman with a sister that ain't happening,

863
00:49:14.519 --> 00:49:17.880
your sister's gonna call you. Your sister's gonna be in your business.

864
00:49:18.039 --> 00:49:20.559
Your sister is gonna want to know what the hell

865
00:49:20.599 --> 00:49:24.960
you ain't answering the phone. And sisters may fight like

866
00:49:25.119 --> 00:49:28.599
cats and damn dogs. Okay, we may tear each other

867
00:49:28.639 --> 00:49:30.760
down to the core, but when it is all said

868
00:49:30.800 --> 00:49:34.440
and done, you also don't play behind your sister. And

869
00:49:34.480 --> 00:49:36.880
I'm saying this from a place of personal experience too,

870
00:49:37.119 --> 00:49:40.039
because my sister and I may freaking tear the house down.

871
00:49:40.159 --> 00:49:42.440
You know, our whole lives fighting. But don't you dare

872
00:49:42.519 --> 00:49:45.039
get sideways with my sister in front of me, because

873
00:49:45.079 --> 00:49:47.440
now you got two against you. Even if we were

874
00:49:47.480 --> 00:49:49.079
in the middle of an argument when it took place,

875
00:49:49.559 --> 00:49:53.679
and Whitney and her sister were no different. And so

876
00:49:53.760 --> 00:49:58.519
she texted her sister one day and said, Josh has

877
00:49:58.559 --> 00:50:01.719
taken my phone. He keeps taking it away from me.

878
00:50:02.119 --> 00:50:05.719
And considering how sick I am, you know, she said

879
00:50:05.760 --> 00:50:08.360
to her sister, I'm just in no position to fight back.

880
00:50:08.400 --> 00:50:11.480
I can't fight by back effectively at least, And as

881
00:50:11.519 --> 00:50:14.639
the conversation deepened and her sister's like, wait, what what

882
00:50:14.719 --> 00:50:18.559
is going on? She begged her sister, please don't tell anyone,

883
00:50:18.639 --> 00:50:21.960
don't say anything to mom and dad. It's you know,

884
00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:25.679
things are happening over here. It's not good. And her

885
00:50:25.719 --> 00:50:28.639
sister is like, oh my god, oh my god. But

886
00:50:28.679 --> 00:50:31.519
Whitney was also not a fool. She was a doctor, dammit.

887
00:50:31.760 --> 00:50:36.840
And if she knew anything, it was that documentation is everything. See,

888
00:50:36.920 --> 00:50:39.400
Josh may have had a stellar look with the community,

889
00:50:40.239 --> 00:50:44.639
and she knew that what everybody else saw that they

890
00:50:44.679 --> 00:50:48.159
would likely not believe these claims that she was going

891
00:50:48.199 --> 00:50:51.840
to put out there. He was well dressed, he was

892
00:50:51.960 --> 00:50:54.960
mild mannered, he smiled, he shook hands with people. Hell

893
00:50:55.039 --> 00:50:58.239
he was just spotlighted as a local community businessman, just

894
00:50:58.519 --> 00:51:03.920
making waves. Helly was a veteran. He knew well that

895
00:51:03.960 --> 00:51:07.880
people respected just that because of what it was. He

896
00:51:07.920 --> 00:51:11.159
even told the news once recently whenever they were spotlighting him.

897
00:51:11.159 --> 00:51:14.440
This is a direct quote. Veterans are motivated and they're

898
00:51:14.519 --> 00:51:18.039
used to a schedule. He said that they have veteran status,

899
00:51:18.079 --> 00:51:20.920
which means that at some level people trust them and

900
00:51:21.000 --> 00:51:26.280
employers respect that, and they look up to people. So

901
00:51:27.400 --> 00:51:32.000
what did Whitney do to ensure her own safety. Whitney

902
00:51:32.400 --> 00:51:40.280
had started documenting her abuse by recording it, so everyone's like, wait, really,

903
00:51:41.079 --> 00:51:45.800
and she say, yeah, I'm sick, not stupid. She was

904
00:51:46.320 --> 00:51:49.320
genuinely afraid that he at some point was going to

905
00:51:49.400 --> 00:51:51.840
cut off all of her communication to the outside world,

906
00:51:51.920 --> 00:51:54.920
and in doing so, she would lose all of the

907
00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:58.559
evidence that he had been hurting her. And I can't

908
00:51:58.599 --> 00:52:00.199
help but think on some level that she he was

909
00:52:00.199 --> 00:52:04.239
afraid he might kill her. She was documenting this and

910
00:52:04.320 --> 00:52:09.400
so as humiliating as it was. She had actually sent

911
00:52:09.519 --> 00:52:14.960
a lot of that documentation to her sister. I have

912
00:52:15.039 --> 00:52:19.039
got to tell you something. What is heard in these

913
00:52:19.119 --> 00:52:24.760
recordings may not be gunshots or something that hits the

914
00:52:24.840 --> 00:52:30.039
level of, you know, cutting somebody or screaming bloody murder

915
00:52:30.039 --> 00:52:32.679
for your life like true crime folks are used to hearing,

916
00:52:33.639 --> 00:52:37.239
but it might as well be when this is how

917
00:52:37.840 --> 00:52:40.440
your spouse is talking to you. And I want to

918
00:52:40.440 --> 00:52:42.960
set the stage for you real quick. The man who

919
00:52:43.079 --> 00:52:47.440
vowed to honor and cherish in sickness and in health

920
00:52:47.800 --> 00:52:52.559
and all of those things was so pissed at the

921
00:52:52.599 --> 00:52:55.519
woman in front of him who was dying of cancer

922
00:52:56.440 --> 00:52:59.559
because she was wanting a clean blanket because the dog

923
00:52:59.719 --> 00:53:04.000
had jumped up and slobbered on the blanket. You know,

924
00:53:04.079 --> 00:53:09.239
something that will affect your immune system if you're sick.

925
00:53:09.400 --> 00:53:12.639
Not to mention it's gross, Okay. I wanted to set

926
00:53:12.679 --> 00:53:15.960
that stage for you because here is how her husband,

927
00:53:16.039 --> 00:53:19.800
Josh handled it, and hearing it is so much different

928
00:53:20.039 --> 00:53:21.519
than someone recounting the story.

929
00:53:21.719 --> 00:53:24.239
So at what point you stop being a mother burden

930
00:53:24.280 --> 00:53:29.199
and being a liability and being a charity case. When

931
00:53:29.280 --> 00:53:32.000
are you ever going to stop being that? When you

932
00:53:32.039 --> 00:53:34.320
were like this before cancer, even so don't act like

933
00:53:34.320 --> 00:53:35.280
it was only cancer.

934
00:53:35.400 --> 00:53:36.079
At least with you.

935
00:53:36.079 --> 00:53:38.119
You can't just play that cancer card. But because you were

936
00:53:38.199 --> 00:53:40.119
lazy before this and I had to do most things,

937
00:53:40.480 --> 00:53:42.400
you need to snap out of be in the way

938
00:53:42.400 --> 00:53:45.719
that you were bred to be, which is lazy and ill.

939
00:53:46.079 --> 00:53:48.599
And every time I show you the path and get

940
00:53:48.599 --> 00:53:51.360
on you for doing something stupid, you act like a

941
00:53:52.119 --> 00:53:54.400
and you walk away, and then you get all mad

942
00:53:54.400 --> 00:53:56.920
and you cry about it. Is that going to fix anything?

943
00:53:57.639 --> 00:54:02.400
Crying doesn't work on me anymore? Numb to it, results work.

944
00:54:03.159 --> 00:54:05.880
I'm tired of you not having the results I'm looking for.

945
00:54:06.239 --> 00:54:09.000
I'm tired of every day that billy keeps growing even

946
00:54:09.000 --> 00:54:11.920
though your weights dropping. You need to start doing something.

947
00:54:12.280 --> 00:54:14.800
It's either you live your life like a pathetic disabled

948
00:54:14.840 --> 00:54:17.400
person or you start getting done. You pick. Why are

949
00:54:17.400 --> 00:54:19.719
you so good at ruining things? You're like a professional

950
00:54:19.760 --> 00:54:20.880
sabotaging mother.

951
00:54:21.320 --> 00:54:25.320
Ruin it. I just asked for what I was to

952
00:54:25.360 --> 00:54:26.039
cause drama.

953
00:54:26.199 --> 00:54:29.239
You shut your mother and mouth and don't even open

954
00:54:29.320 --> 00:54:30.840
that mouth, do you hear me?

955
00:54:31.320 --> 00:54:34.480
Ye? Do not even say a thing. You are not

956
00:54:34.760 --> 00:54:38.599
entitled to say a word when she's over here, and

957
00:54:38.760 --> 00:54:41.360
spend time and to have a good time, not to go.

958
00:54:41.800 --> 00:54:44.159
I need my blanket cleaned off, I need this, I

959
00:54:44.199 --> 00:54:44.480
need that.

960
00:54:44.679 --> 00:54:46.400
Shut the f up, we'll do it later.

961
00:54:46.679 --> 00:54:48.639
It's not doing anything sitting there, is it?

962
00:54:48.920 --> 00:54:50.280
And you're the mother who.

963
00:54:50.119 --> 00:54:52.440
Opened the window and got cold. Did I tell you

964
00:54:52.480 --> 00:54:54.760
to open the window? What did I tell you before?

965
00:54:54.800 --> 00:54:57.199
Don't do something unless you're told to do it. You

966
00:54:57.239 --> 00:54:58.920
have a severe listening problem.

967
00:54:59.280 --> 00:55:02.320
He goes on to say all she does is bitch

968
00:55:03.039 --> 00:55:05.199
and that you know things are never going to get

969
00:55:05.239 --> 00:55:08.559
better according to her, and her fucking cancer is a burden,

970
00:55:09.039 --> 00:55:15.039
and you know she's a burden. You know, just wow,

971
00:55:15.760 --> 00:55:20.840
just wow. Some people right now also may be like, okay, Kelly, Well,

972
00:55:20.840 --> 00:55:22.880
I mean, he's an asshole, but it could be worse.

973
00:55:23.760 --> 00:55:26.320
And to that, I'd say, please let me finish the

974
00:55:26.360 --> 00:55:32.119
story first. So, when Whitney had initially begun feeling pain

975
00:55:32.159 --> 00:55:35.519
in her back back to the very beginning of this episode,

976
00:55:35.840 --> 00:55:39.440
Josh had been giving her pushback about going to the doctor.

977
00:55:39.760 --> 00:55:43.320
He did not want her to go. He didn't want

978
00:55:43.320 --> 00:55:47.280
her to go because he knew why she was hurting.

979
00:55:48.719 --> 00:55:51.840
This is what he told her. His explanation was that

980
00:55:51.920 --> 00:55:55.280
her back was hurting because she was obese and she

981
00:55:55.360 --> 00:55:59.800
didn't work out. She needed to lose weight. That was

982
00:55:59.800 --> 00:56:06.000
her problem. She was fat. So it turned out that

983
00:56:06.039 --> 00:56:09.599
the initial connection that she had made with her doctor

984
00:56:10.119 --> 00:56:14.039
about getting that initial MRI, all the way back to

985
00:56:14.159 --> 00:56:18.440
that point had been done behind Josh's back because he

986
00:56:18.679 --> 00:56:24.199
was not letting her go to the doctor. She was

987
00:56:24.239 --> 00:56:27.920
actually personal friends with that doctor and texted her asking

988
00:56:27.920 --> 00:56:29.960
for an appointment because Josh would have found out if

989
00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:34.519
she would have gone to the doctor. Otherwise, the delays

990
00:56:34.920 --> 00:56:38.159
by Josh refusing to let her go to the doctor

991
00:56:38.960 --> 00:56:43.119
would later be unfortunately tied to missing care at a

992
00:56:43.199 --> 00:56:47.000
crucial point in the stages of her cancer. Time had

993
00:56:47.079 --> 00:56:50.599
literally been of the essence, and it wasn't until she

994
00:56:50.639 --> 00:56:53.519
could barely walk that she did what she had to

995
00:56:53.559 --> 00:56:56.119
do and go behind his back and go get that MRI.

996
00:56:56.760 --> 00:57:00.559
Earlier treatment would no doubt have been tied to a

997
00:57:00.559 --> 00:57:04.760
better potential outcome. But he made her weight. He made

998
00:57:04.800 --> 00:57:09.000
her weight because he was already being abusive back then.

999
00:57:10.400 --> 00:57:12.719
And this case is so interesting, and I want to

1000
00:57:12.760 --> 00:57:16.679
interject this here because we look at murders and we

1001
00:57:16.760 --> 00:57:20.320
listen to me tell stories of crimes between intimate partners

1002
00:57:20.599 --> 00:57:24.800
all the time in these cases, and we often ask ourselves,

1003
00:57:24.880 --> 00:57:27.639
oh my god, what could have been done? You know,

1004
00:57:28.000 --> 00:57:30.719
But we ask this after it's too late. We sit there,

1005
00:57:30.800 --> 00:57:32.960
we reminisce, and we go, oh my god, why didn't

1006
00:57:32.960 --> 00:57:35.360
she leave? Oh my god, if only she had spoken up.

1007
00:57:35.639 --> 00:57:37.519
That is why this case is so important to me,

1008
00:57:37.760 --> 00:57:39.280
and that is why I'm bringing it to you, even

1009
00:57:39.280 --> 00:57:42.280
though it's a little bit different, because in this case,

1010
00:57:42.480 --> 00:57:46.320
you are seeing the ramp up in live time. You're

1011
00:57:46.360 --> 00:57:48.320
seeing it. If you're watching me right now, I hope

1012
00:57:48.360 --> 00:57:50.239
you can see the goosebumps on my arm and the

1013
00:57:50.320 --> 00:57:53.079
hair that's literally lifting up on my arm. She is

1014
00:57:53.159 --> 00:57:56.159
alive and she is telling this in the midst of

1015
00:57:56.199 --> 00:58:01.639
the abuse, but at what cost before doing so? All

1016
00:58:01.679 --> 00:58:03.800
the time we say, oh my god, if only we

1017
00:58:03.880 --> 00:58:06.480
had known. That is why I wanted to share this story,

1018
00:58:06.519 --> 00:58:09.599
because this is an exemplary case of she's still alive

1019
00:58:09.639 --> 00:58:13.519
at this moment and she is telling people. No one

1020
00:58:13.679 --> 00:58:17.719
ever thinks that they will be killed, or else they

1021
00:58:17.760 --> 00:58:21.400
wouldn't have stayed around with that person. No one actually

1022
00:58:21.440 --> 00:58:24.480
ever believes the person that they love would cross that

1023
00:58:24.599 --> 00:58:28.360
line into hurting them. But right here, you're seeing it

1024
00:58:28.440 --> 00:58:32.719
unfold before your eyes. She just hasn't been killed yet.

1025
00:58:32.960 --> 00:58:37.480
In this episode, Josh, in another recording, was fussing at

1026
00:58:37.480 --> 00:58:40.000
Whitney for all the business that she was costing him

1027
00:58:40.159 --> 00:58:43.000
and how he should bill her for all the care

1028
00:58:43.079 --> 00:58:45.360
that he has provided her. Mind you, she at this

1029
00:58:45.480 --> 00:58:48.760
point is full blown with cancer. She is so sick

1030
00:58:48.960 --> 00:58:52.320
that she has a damn fully catheter inserted in her

1031
00:58:52.360 --> 00:58:54.840
body at this point to minimize trips up and down

1032
00:58:55.079 --> 00:58:58.039
to the bathroom. So she's got her cell phone in

1033
00:58:58.079 --> 00:59:02.880
her hand and she's recording everything when Josh attacks her

1034
00:59:03.199 --> 00:59:07.119
in the closet, knocks her down and starts beating her

1035
00:59:07.400 --> 00:59:09.719
with the clothes on the hangar.

1036
00:59:11.320 --> 00:59:18.239
Back in the bed. You've never saw evil get in there.

1037
00:59:19.800 --> 00:59:21.960
You need to learn what you say before you say it.

1038
00:59:22.719 --> 00:59:24.239
Can I tell me I didn't have to be there

1039
00:59:24.239 --> 00:59:30.960
in Mayo to help you. If this cancer comes back,

1040
00:59:31.039 --> 00:59:35.440
I'm letting you go. Do you understand that? Yes or no?

1041
00:59:36.239 --> 00:59:37.000
Yes, it's true.

1042
00:59:37.079 --> 00:59:40.639
I have not loved you for a while now, but

1043
00:59:40.719 --> 00:59:43.119
I have cared about you, and I have felt pity

1044
00:59:43.199 --> 00:59:45.159
for you. But I don't know what to do because

1045
00:59:45.199 --> 00:59:47.199
we got married and we're supposed to love each other.

1046
00:59:47.599 --> 00:59:49.960
And you're very hard to love. And I feel like

1047
00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:52.199
you're trying to derail my life and yours at the

1048
00:59:52.199 --> 00:59:54.559
same time. And how is that fair to me when

1049
00:59:54.599 --> 00:59:55.920
I've literally kept you alive?

1050
00:59:56.440 --> 00:59:58.239
Huh?

1051
00:59:58.280 --> 01:00:00.400
And then you say you didn't have to be there.

1052
01:00:00.960 --> 01:00:02.719
If I ever hear that come out of your mouth again,

1053
01:00:02.800 --> 01:00:06.360
I will make you swallow every Pello morphine that you

1054
01:00:06.440 --> 01:00:08.039
have in that bottle, and you will be out of

1055
01:00:08.039 --> 01:00:11.800
this world within one hour. Do you hear me. I

1056
01:00:11.840 --> 01:00:14.800
Am not playing around anymore. You will be brought out

1057
01:00:14.840 --> 01:00:17.360
of this world if you pissed me off like that

1058
01:00:17.400 --> 01:00:19.440
one more time, and I will put you out of

1059
01:00:19.440 --> 01:00:20.000
your misery.

1060
01:00:20.880 --> 01:00:23.920
Not only did what you just heard hurt my heart,

1061
01:00:24.039 --> 01:00:26.960
but when I heard the crinkling of what I can

1062
01:00:27.000 --> 01:00:30.719
only assume was the plastic from her diaper or the

1063
01:00:30.719 --> 01:00:34.800
protective padding on the bed, I almost lost it. That

1064
01:00:35.079 --> 01:00:40.840
freaking bastard. Y'all, emotional well being is number one next

1065
01:00:40.840 --> 01:00:44.360
to the physical care in cancer survival. You cannot change

1066
01:00:44.400 --> 01:00:47.559
my mind on this. Faith, hope, and love are the

1067
01:00:47.599 --> 01:00:50.239
things that carry you through even when it gets hard,

1068
01:00:50.519 --> 01:00:52.800
especially when it gets hard. And to think that she

1069
01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:55.559
was dealing with this while she's dying and she's wearing

1070
01:00:55.559 --> 01:00:59.079
a fucking cathet or she's so sick, like I want

1071
01:00:59.079 --> 01:01:01.920
to cry. He is a complete stranger to me, and

1072
01:01:01.960 --> 01:01:06.880
I want to cry for her. Nobody deserves that. And

1073
01:01:07.000 --> 01:01:09.360
right before Whitney called for the ambulance that brought her

1074
01:01:09.400 --> 01:01:13.079
to the hospital, Josh was threatening to cut her jugular.

1075
01:01:13.320 --> 01:01:18.039
Those are not empty threats, those are smoldering promises. But

1076
01:01:18.159 --> 01:01:22.000
in what is hands down the most demoralizing and inhumane

1077
01:01:22.000 --> 01:01:25.480
thing that I can even think could happen to someone who,

1078
01:01:25.599 --> 01:01:28.280
let's be honest, she is dying of cancer at this point.

1079
01:01:28.639 --> 01:01:32.760
Is what Whitney revealed to her parents in this moment,

1080
01:01:33.159 --> 01:01:38.599
and there just aren't words for this. Six days before

1081
01:01:38.639 --> 01:01:42.679
her hospitalization was when that diarrhea episode in the living

1082
01:01:42.760 --> 01:01:45.519
room happened, the one I told you she was gushing

1083
01:01:45.559 --> 01:01:47.639
to her friend via text about how well he was

1084
01:01:47.679 --> 01:01:50.760
caring for her. Well, here is the part that she

1085
01:01:50.840 --> 01:01:55.679
didn't tell her friend. When Josh got to her, the

1086
01:01:55.760 --> 01:01:58.960
diarrhea was already pouring down her legs and had gotten

1087
01:01:59.000 --> 01:02:02.559
all over the floor. But she had already become weak

1088
01:02:02.679 --> 01:02:05.199
in that moment, and she started to fall because she

1089
01:02:05.280 --> 01:02:10.480
was on her walker instead of helping this woman. He

1090
01:02:10.599 --> 01:02:14.400
watched her as she lost her ability to stand up,

1091
01:02:14.880 --> 01:02:19.440
and he watched her and let her collapse and told

1092
01:02:19.440 --> 01:02:21.440
her in the middle of it that she looked like

1093
01:02:21.480 --> 01:02:25.400
a zoo animal shitting on the floor. And once she

1094
01:02:25.599 --> 01:02:28.199
fell and was on the ground and couldn't get up,

1095
01:02:29.559 --> 01:02:32.400
that son of a bitch grabbed her by one arm

1096
01:02:32.960 --> 01:02:36.679
and drug her through her own feces by one arm,

1097
01:02:37.079 --> 01:02:40.440
down the hall and into the bathroom, And once he

1098
01:02:40.519 --> 01:02:43.880
got her up on the toilet, he started punching her

1099
01:02:44.079 --> 01:02:46.920
in the left side of her face until her nose

1100
01:02:46.960 --> 01:02:52.800
started bleeding. And looking Whitney over as she is saying this,

1101
01:02:53.039 --> 01:02:56.840
it was obvious even days before, even though days had

1102
01:02:56.880 --> 01:02:59.519
passed since that had happened, it was obvious she was

1103
01:02:59.519 --> 01:03:03.119
telling the truth because the fingerprints from that man were

1104
01:03:03.199 --> 01:03:05.639
still on the side of her bald head where he

1105
01:03:05.639 --> 01:03:09.480
had been slapping her. As she sat upon that toilet.

1106
01:03:10.800 --> 01:03:14.400
She was dazed, she was bleeding, and that's when Josh

1107
01:03:14.639 --> 01:03:18.079
grabbed chlorox wipes and went out in the hall or

1108
01:03:18.119 --> 01:03:20.519
in the living room and wiped up all the feces

1109
01:03:20.559 --> 01:03:23.719
that was on the floor. Well, when he was hitting

1110
01:03:23.760 --> 01:03:26.159
her in the head, it had split her tongue on

1111
01:03:26.199 --> 01:03:29.760
the side, and so her tongue was ripped on the inside.

1112
01:03:29.760 --> 01:03:33.280
She now had to open wound in her mouth, and

1113
01:03:33.400 --> 01:03:37.159
Josh returned a short moment later, but he was still

1114
01:03:37.199 --> 01:03:46.280
holding the feces soaked chlorox wipes and yes, yes, that's

1115
01:03:46.280 --> 01:03:49.719
where this is going. He looked at Whitney for a

1116
01:03:49.760 --> 01:03:54.360
moment before attacking her again and shoving the wipes that

1117
01:03:54.480 --> 01:03:58.800
were filled with her own feces in her own mouth.

1118
01:04:00.239 --> 01:04:02.920
He told her that she might as well eat the

1119
01:04:02.960 --> 01:04:08.400
shit too, like does zoo animals do. When she made

1120
01:04:08.440 --> 01:04:11.760
it to the hospital, they had run some tests and

1121
01:04:11.840 --> 01:04:15.639
what Whitney didn't know already was that she was injured

1122
01:04:15.679 --> 01:04:20.239
far worse than just emotionally and the disgusting fact that

1123
01:04:20.280 --> 01:04:24.119
he had put feces in her mouth. He had also

1124
01:04:24.239 --> 01:04:28.440
fractured a vertebrae on her The black eye that she

1125
01:04:28.559 --> 01:04:33.760
had I wasn't from hitting the walker. That's from Josh,

1126
01:04:34.599 --> 01:04:39.320
because she didn't fall accidentally like she had originally said.

1127
01:04:40.280 --> 01:04:42.840
When you look at her in these pictures, it is

1128
01:04:42.880 --> 01:04:45.559
the most devastating thing to think that someone could do

1129
01:04:45.639 --> 01:04:51.639
to somebody else. Knowing everything that was now known, it

1130
01:04:51.719 --> 01:04:54.920
was pretty clear that Whitney was in the throes of

1131
01:04:55.519 --> 01:04:58.679
active abuse and that she needed to be protected at

1132
01:04:58.719 --> 01:05:03.320
all costs. But Josh had told the truth about one thing.

1133
01:05:04.480 --> 01:05:07.559
The hospital was upset with him for his quote unquote

1134
01:05:07.559 --> 01:05:10.760
care of his wife at the hospital. Now, in his

1135
01:05:10.840 --> 01:05:14.960
explanation when he was talking to the police, he said

1136
01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:17.280
he wanted his wife to stand, remember that, so that

1137
01:05:17.320 --> 01:05:21.000
fluid overload he could help fix that. But what he

1138
01:05:21.119 --> 01:05:23.360
failed to mention when he was explaining that to the

1139
01:05:23.400 --> 01:05:26.519
police was that his wife's left leg didn't work well

1140
01:05:26.760 --> 01:05:30.079
anymore because of the tumors, and her other leg was

1141
01:05:30.119 --> 01:05:34.280
big and swollen, and she had already done and completed

1142
01:05:34.320 --> 01:05:38.960
her physical therapy just prior to him forcing her in

1143
01:05:39.079 --> 01:05:43.280
that room to stand. She was already exhausted from it.

1144
01:05:44.400 --> 01:05:47.519
She's dying. He told the police that he was on

1145
01:05:47.559 --> 01:05:49.800
the other side of the room when Whitney was standing,

1146
01:05:50.239 --> 01:05:52.639
and you know, she kind of fell and it was

1147
01:05:52.679 --> 01:05:55.079
an accident. But the full truth was that he was

1148
01:05:55.159 --> 01:05:59.199
forcing her to stand and then standing there watching her

1149
01:05:59.599 --> 01:06:04.280
ash fell. She was begging for help. Her legs were buckling,

1150
01:06:04.480 --> 01:06:07.360
she couldn't hold up her weight, and when she did fall,

1151
01:06:07.639 --> 01:06:10.559
she slammed down, causing a large scratch on her back,

1152
01:06:10.599 --> 01:06:13.239
which you remember is already injured because she's got that

1153
01:06:13.360 --> 01:06:20.239
necrotizing fascy itis on her back. This broke my heart

1154
01:06:20.239 --> 01:06:22.360
because my own mama when she was in the hospital

1155
01:06:22.400 --> 01:06:25.360
when she was sick from cancer. I remember them telling

1156
01:06:25.400 --> 01:06:27.440
her in the hospital that she needed to stand up

1157
01:06:27.480 --> 01:06:28.960
to get to the toilet, and she said, I don't

1158
01:06:29.000 --> 01:06:30.599
think I can do it, and they had told her, yes,

1159
01:06:30.639 --> 01:06:33.880
you can. I think they underestimated how weak she was,

1160
01:06:34.039 --> 01:06:37.119
and my mother ended up falling on the ground because

1161
01:06:37.119 --> 01:06:39.320
she couldn't hold herself up on the walker, and they

1162
01:06:39.320 --> 01:06:41.599
had to call in like emergency care crews to come

1163
01:06:41.639 --> 01:06:43.119
in to help get my mom up off the floor

1164
01:06:43.119 --> 01:06:45.440
because she couldn't even lift up her own arms. And

1165
01:06:45.480 --> 01:06:48.920
you know, you refer back to your own memories of

1166
01:06:48.960 --> 01:06:51.280
this type of stuff and how heartbreaking that was. Of course,

1167
01:06:51.320 --> 01:06:54.280
the hospital didn't do that on purpose. He did, though.

1168
01:06:55.079 --> 01:07:00.599
Josh did this on purpose. And while Whitney is rageously

1169
01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:05.679
owning up and sharing everything that she has been going through,

1170
01:07:06.119 --> 01:07:10.639
her phone starts blowing up in live time. While she's

1171
01:07:10.679 --> 01:07:13.119
explaining to the cops and her parents what's going on,

1172
01:07:13.199 --> 01:07:17.559
and guess who it was? It was Josh. He was

1173
01:07:17.599 --> 01:07:21.280
blowing her phone up. She wouldn't answer it, and I'm

1174
01:07:21.280 --> 01:07:23.000
gonna tell you now what he's doing because it's what

1175
01:07:23.039 --> 01:07:25.119
abusers do, and we want to talk about it while

1176
01:07:25.159 --> 01:07:28.920
the victim's still alive. He was calling to love bomb her.

1177
01:07:29.119 --> 01:07:31.559
There's no question in my mind that's what was happening.

1178
01:07:31.639 --> 01:07:33.840
He wanted to sweeten her up because the police had

1179
01:07:33.880 --> 01:07:37.000
already called him. He knew that they were asking questions.

1180
01:07:37.639 --> 01:07:41.679
Love Bombing is an absolute tactic that abusers use to

1181
01:07:41.760 --> 01:07:46.079
win over their victims and to silence them in the moment.

1182
01:07:46.679 --> 01:07:49.119
That's what they do. Let's remember the good times and

1183
01:07:49.159 --> 01:07:51.519
bringing back up how loving they can be. It's not

1184
01:07:51.599 --> 01:07:55.400
about that. It's to silence you. But this time Whitney

1185
01:07:55.719 --> 01:07:59.320
wasn't answering. She was reclaiming her power, or at least

1186
01:07:59.400 --> 01:08:03.039
whatever bit of power she had left in her. The

1187
01:08:03.119 --> 01:08:06.320
doctor's report stated very clearly that this was not a joke.

1188
01:08:06.960 --> 01:08:09.880
This is very serious. Just because she was still alive

1189
01:08:10.320 --> 01:08:14.440
does not make this not a deadly serious situation. A

1190
01:08:14.519 --> 01:08:17.359
direct quote from her record said quote, there is no

1191
01:08:17.479 --> 01:08:19.680
doubt in my mind if she were to return to

1192
01:08:19.720 --> 01:08:23.520
his care, she would likely not survive another abuse. Her

1193
01:08:23.560 --> 01:08:27.800
condition was worsened physically and mentally due to the contribution

1194
01:08:28.159 --> 01:08:34.319
of intimate partner violence. This information was also compounded with

1195
01:08:34.479 --> 01:08:37.439
another tried and true motive that we all know too

1196
01:08:37.479 --> 01:08:41.840
well from cases like this, because Whitney was crying as

1197
01:08:41.840 --> 01:08:45.479
she also shared that Josh told her it was going

1198
01:08:45.560 --> 01:08:48.079
to be very bad for her if he ever found

1199
01:08:48.119 --> 01:08:51.159
out that she changed her life insurance policy from him

1200
01:08:51.399 --> 01:08:54.880
to someone else like her parents, and that policy value,

1201
01:08:54.880 --> 01:08:59.199
by the way, one point three million dollars. With all

1202
01:08:59.239 --> 01:09:02.680
of this in mind, the officer called Josh and asked

1203
01:09:02.800 --> 01:09:05.199
to come by the house to talk to him about

1204
01:09:05.199 --> 01:09:07.319
the dispute with the nurses that he had had, and

1205
01:09:07.359 --> 01:09:10.399
he's like, yeah, absolutely, he agrees. So when they arrive,

1206
01:09:10.479 --> 01:09:13.840
he's very cordial, you know, he shakes hands and he

1207
01:09:14.000 --> 01:09:16.800
tells the story of what all was going on that

1208
01:09:17.000 --> 01:09:20.079
led Whitney to the hospital in the first place.

1209
01:09:20.399 --> 01:09:24.279
So on Saturday, she had fallen again really bad and

1210
01:09:24.279 --> 01:09:27.560
then went to the bathroom on herself, and we didn't

1211
01:09:27.600 --> 01:09:28.479
know she had seen.

1212
01:09:28.319 --> 01:09:31.279
This yet, okay, And so I found her on the

1213
01:09:31.319 --> 01:09:32.960
floor and she was out of it.

1214
01:09:33.560 --> 01:09:37.520
And you know, usually you shouldn't really go to the

1215
01:09:37.520 --> 01:09:41.239
hospital unless you absolutely have to. But she ended up

1216
01:09:41.279 --> 01:09:43.760
having a big accid on the culture when I was sleeping.

1217
01:09:43.760 --> 01:09:46.680
I've been sleeping in this room. She had to call

1218
01:09:46.720 --> 01:09:47.359
the ambulance.

1219
01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:53.000
So medical was called on a Saturday, No Saturday, she fell.

1220
01:09:53.319 --> 01:09:55.640
Medical was called two days ago, two nights ago.

1221
01:09:55.760 --> 01:09:57.399
Sorry, okay, I might have missed that up there.

1222
01:09:57.520 --> 01:09:58.640
I haven't had much sleep.

1223
01:09:58.560 --> 01:09:59.000
That's okay.

1224
01:09:59.119 --> 01:10:01.600
I just wanted to but yes, and so when we

1225
01:10:01.680 --> 01:10:04.520
brought her in, doctor Hanan came in that night at

1226
01:10:04.560 --> 01:10:07.239
eight o'clock. Nice to go at eight He's like, why

1227
01:10:07.239 --> 01:10:08.600
do you have all these bruises?

1228
01:10:08.840 --> 01:10:09.760
You have bruises on your.

1229
01:10:09.760 --> 01:10:11.479
Knees, you have them on your arms, you have it

1230
01:10:11.520 --> 01:10:13.840
on your face, on your head, on your back, everywhere.

1231
01:10:13.920 --> 01:10:16.319
He was trying to blame me that I was neglecting her.

1232
01:10:17.159 --> 01:10:18.600
A little over a year and a half ago, she

1233
01:10:18.680 --> 01:10:23.119
was diagnosed with ewing sarcoma. So she they found a

1234
01:10:23.720 --> 01:10:27.880
spinal tuber and ever since then it's just been a whirlwind. Yeah,

1235
01:10:27.960 --> 01:10:29.680
and I've been by her side the whole time, which

1236
01:10:29.680 --> 01:10:30.520
will never change.

1237
01:10:31.399 --> 01:10:35.159
How's that for an explanation, because clearly Josh forgot to

1238
01:10:35.199 --> 01:10:37.520
mention all the things he had done to Whitney. When

1239
01:10:37.560 --> 01:10:43.800
explaining it so fucking typical. So typical. He continued to explain. Also,

1240
01:10:44.479 --> 01:10:46.079
you didn't get to hear all this, but how great

1241
01:10:46.079 --> 01:10:48.520
of a caregiver he was, and you know how much

1242
01:10:48.560 --> 01:10:50.960
he loved his wife. But the jig was up. It

1243
01:10:51.119 --> 01:10:54.760
was up, and they placed him under arrest right then

1244
01:10:54.880 --> 01:10:58.680
and there, and Josh was charged with endangering and terrorizing

1245
01:10:58.720 --> 01:11:01.359
an adult. I want you to know not only was

1246
01:11:01.359 --> 01:11:05.119
he arrested for this, but he was subsequently convicted and

1247
01:11:05.159 --> 01:11:09.039
he was sentenced for those charges. He got five years each,

1248
01:11:09.800 --> 01:11:12.600
but they did run concurrently, which means he only got

1249
01:11:12.600 --> 01:11:15.600
a total of five years, as well as an additional

1250
01:11:15.640 --> 01:11:21.960
two year supervised probation. Interesting enough, I just want to

1251
01:11:22.000 --> 01:11:24.920
let you know this is that Josh's defense in court

1252
01:11:25.720 --> 01:11:27.399
when he got to go have his day in court,

1253
01:11:27.720 --> 01:11:32.399
Josh's defense was that he was suffering from caretaker burnout,

1254
01:11:32.439 --> 01:11:34.159
which I want to let people know that is a

1255
01:11:34.239 --> 01:11:41.359
real phenomenon. Okay, compassion fatigue. It happens in long term

1256
01:11:41.359 --> 01:11:44.279
care situations, and I'm not going to deny that that

1257
01:11:44.479 --> 01:11:49.560
does exist. But here's the difference. Compassion fatigue and caretaker

1258
01:11:49.640 --> 01:11:56.239
burnout does not become abuse. Burnout is going to be

1259
01:11:56.279 --> 01:12:01.039
more exhibited in things like cynicism, emotional detachment, a reduced

1260
01:12:01.279 --> 01:12:06.279
capacity for empathy. But it never turns into punching a

1261
01:12:06.560 --> 01:12:11.760
dying woman nor shoving shit down a dying person's throat.

1262
01:12:12.439 --> 01:12:15.680
That is not the same thing, Joshua, It's not even

1263
01:12:15.720 --> 01:12:20.039
in comparison. Abusers like Josh are not showing compassion fatigue.

1264
01:12:20.039 --> 01:12:24.960
This is narcissistic control and power exhibited through violence. And

1265
01:12:25.000 --> 01:12:28.560
this isn't a reaction to long term stress either. This

1266
01:12:28.760 --> 01:12:32.680
is a pattern that abusers perpetuate in case in point.

1267
01:12:32.720 --> 01:12:35.439
If you think I'm being a little tough here, you

1268
01:12:35.560 --> 01:12:37.399
know what was brought to the attention of the court

1269
01:12:37.640 --> 01:12:40.760
in response to his compassion fatigue claims? Do you know

1270
01:12:40.800 --> 01:12:44.079
what was brought to the attention of the court? Josh

1271
01:12:44.279 --> 01:12:50.560
already had prior domestic violence charges stemming from a previous relationship.

1272
01:12:50.760 --> 01:12:54.239
It wasn't even Whitney and the victim in that case

1273
01:12:55.000 --> 01:12:58.880
his child's mother. Yes, he has a child and he

1274
01:12:58.960 --> 01:13:01.880
was abusing the woman he decided to have a child with.

1275
01:13:02.840 --> 01:13:05.039
So what was it back then, Josh? Did you have

1276
01:13:05.560 --> 01:13:11.960
spousal fatigue? Was it parenting fatigue? What was it then? Josh? Yeah,

1277
01:13:12.399 --> 01:13:17.119
I didn't think so, there's no answer to that. Something

1278
01:13:17.560 --> 01:13:21.239
I was intrigued by was that the judge was a

1279
01:13:21.279 --> 01:13:23.880
female in this case, and that was comical to me.

1280
01:13:24.279 --> 01:13:28.239
He was arrested by a female officer, he was prosecuted

1281
01:13:28.479 --> 01:13:31.560
by a female state's attorney, and then he was ultimately

1282
01:13:31.600 --> 01:13:35.159
sentenced by a female judge. And I wonder if when

1283
01:13:35.159 --> 01:13:38.000
he sat in his jail cell if he suffered from

1284
01:13:38.119 --> 01:13:44.680
female fatigue after all of that. Ladies, may we always

1285
01:13:45.199 --> 01:13:51.199
be women's women. May we always fight for each other always.

1286
01:13:52.000 --> 01:13:54.920
In that same article that Josh was featured in that

1287
01:13:54.960 --> 01:13:58.680
I mentioned about his amazing business skills and his veteran status,

1288
01:13:59.119 --> 01:14:02.800
I read a quote from him, and this was in

1289
01:14:02.840 --> 01:14:06.359
reference to the homes that he built, and I'd like

1290
01:14:06.399 --> 01:14:09.279
to share it with you, he said, quote. It turned

1291
01:14:09.319 --> 01:14:12.000
out I was able to do it and put things

1292
01:14:12.039 --> 01:14:17.720
together that looked good. Straight from an abuser's mouth. Guys,

1293
01:14:17.880 --> 01:14:22.720
he's able to put things together that look good. Some

1294
01:14:22.720 --> 01:14:27.600
people spend a lifetime polishing a reputation so bright that

1295
01:14:27.680 --> 01:14:33.239
it blinds everyone around them. But the uniform, the speeches,

1296
01:14:33.600 --> 01:14:38.920
the awards, that picture perfect image that people put out there,

1297
01:14:40.159 --> 01:14:43.000
they do that because they think it looks like integrity.

1298
01:14:44.079 --> 01:14:47.479
But what we all know is that integrity isn't you

1299
01:14:47.520 --> 01:14:50.479
know how you perform under the spotlight, It's who you

1300
01:14:50.560 --> 01:14:55.039
are when no one is watching. You ever see somebody

1301
01:14:55.439 --> 01:14:58.439
outside walking about, and when the sunlight hits them the

1302
01:14:58.479 --> 01:15:00.560
right way, you go uh oh, because you realize in

1303
01:15:00.640 --> 01:15:03.239
that moment the light coming down on them, you can

1304
01:15:03.279 --> 01:15:08.920
see straight through their clothing. That's Josh. The wolf was

1305
01:15:09.000 --> 01:15:13.520
dressed in the sheep's clothing. Josh wanted that spotlight to

1306
01:15:13.560 --> 01:15:16.840
show him as an amazing caretaker of his dying wife,

1307
01:15:16.960 --> 01:15:19.640
but all it ended up doing was shining a light

1308
01:15:19.880 --> 01:15:23.439
on his real self. And while he spent years saluting

1309
01:15:23.479 --> 01:15:27.920
the flag and demanding respect, the only standing ovation for

1310
01:15:28.039 --> 01:15:30.960
him now was his fellow inmates as they lined up

1311
01:15:30.960 --> 01:15:36.720
for count before chow. Real strength isn't intimidating someone weaker

1312
01:15:36.720 --> 01:15:40.840
than you, and real courage isn't abusing a woman who

1313
01:15:40.880 --> 01:15:44.039
is already fighting for her life. That is not honor.

1314
01:15:44.560 --> 01:15:47.960
That is the very definition of a coward dressed up

1315
01:15:48.159 --> 01:15:51.840
in camouflage. And speaking of camo, Josh probably isn't used

1316
01:15:51.880 --> 01:15:54.920
to his prison uniform even now, because it makes for

1317
01:15:55.000 --> 01:15:59.000
a terrible fashioned decision. Tactically speaking, and all I can

1318
01:15:59.039 --> 01:16:01.199
say is that I hope that orange doesn't make him

1319
01:16:01.239 --> 01:16:01.680
a target.

1320
01:16:06.920 --> 01:16:15.520
Hmm